If you were following my last thread, then you may know that I’ve been having great conflicts about joining the priesthood. You know that ever since I read the Gospel, I have been absolutely infatuated with Christ’s appointing of the Twelve Apostles. You know that I was infatuated with this idea that Jesus called these men out of the comfort of their daily lives and gave them the mission to go out into the world to act in Persona Christi’, in the person of Christ, and to draw others closer to him. This is why I desperately wanted to become a pastor of a church whenever I was a protestant, I wanted to imitate this and draw others to Christ in the most powerful sense. Whenever I became a catholic, that pastoral role was magnified. Every priest and bishop of the Catholic Church can trace their apostolic rights all the way back to one of the twelve Apostles and still carry out this apostolic duty every day of their lives. Even though this made it that much more appealing to me, I knew that it came at a much higher cost.
Over the years, I have found that I am good at counseling others, especially in the name of Christ; I make others feel closer to God, I can explain the Christian faith in a very reasonable manner and no one knows the faith better than me. I felt like I would be kidding myself if I had a profession in something that wasn’t directly relevant to my religious beliefs, but I don’t want to take a vow of celibacy. It’s not just about the celibacy (which, as horny as I am, can’t fathom carrying out in and of itself), but I would literally have to be perfectly content with having no one accept for God to wake up to accept for the rest of my life. This would be very disappointing to me because I am very affectionate, selfless, considerate, understanding, loyal and passionate in relationships. I’m not saying that I’m everything a lover should be, but a lot of people who ARE getting married DON’T have most of these qualities!
Then it dawned on me: the reason that I wanted to become a priest was because I wanted to serve the community and, in the name of Christ, make a better culture for our society to live in. Then I thought: Maybe this isn’t God calling me to be a priest; maybe this is God calling me to be a saint! If I find a good woman to elope with, then I can spur like six or seven children into the community (remember, I’m catholic) and be a role model to them. This is what families need the most these days are strong father figures who stand for traditional values. Also, after I earn my degree in psychology, I can go into research, counseling and teaching throughout my career. I can send out advice and information through the internet, and by writing books about how we can improve our social environment. If my wife so approved, I could also become a deacon; meaning that could give lectures and teach initiation and other theological courses for free for the church. I would be able to marry couples, counsel them as a psychologist, baptize their children and do the whole thing all over again!
And if I never find a wife to elope, then I’ll become a priest. :p