I never had a properly formed conscience and this led me to become highly guilty, scrupulous at neurotic from age 15. I became very socially isolated yet I was happy with myself and others around me in a selfish way.
I could not get over the guilt of something I did.
When I reached age 17 I saw a psychiatrist, I was too scrupolous to say no to taking medication (as stupid as that sounds). I was then put on antipsychotics, which made me more and more emotionally blunted.
It took me month to realize that the medication was causing this state.
I have this unforgivable anger stored in me, that the doctor was RUDE and irritating to me, “This requires heavy heavy medication, like yeah.”
I have no friends.
I think it will be hard for many people like me to enter the straight and narrow.