I am Catholic raised Catholic and my wife converted when we married. We have to difficult children ages 12 and 16. We have not been going steady to mass every Sunday in quite a while. I would like to go but she says that other churches have better stuff for kids and it is more enjoyable. She has said that there is no intimacy with her and other parishioners. However I told her that small groups where it can’t be found. I am longing to go back. She wants our kids just to go to a non denominational church. She hates God right now as our son is going down a dangerous path. She says the kids are bored and I think she gets bored herself. I listen and follow along so I do get something out of it. I tell her we can receive communion but she just scoffs. What advice can you give me.
Get back to the sacramental life, go to confession, receive communion, go to mass weekly.
Then lead your family by example. Fulfill the promises you made at your children’s baptism (if they were baptized) to the best of your ability. You cannot expect teens who have not been in the sacramental life of the church in years to suddenly embrace mass and worship. This will require a lot of talking, prayer, and leading by example.
Thank you you are right how can I lead I am not doing well myself
The teenage years can be very challenging, and I’m praying for you and your dear family.
Your wife sounds like she’s worn out with the problems with your son. Does she ever get a chance to get away for some time to herself? It can be very hard to work up a feeling of religious devotion when you feel slammed across the net too many times.
Or maybe you both need to refresh.
For you all.
I went to a cricket match. I was bored out of my MIND.
Other people were engaged in watching the match.
The difference? I do not know anything about the game except there is a bat and a ball and players and the attempt is to score, I know the absolute basics. Should I learn the game, I would also be engaged watching a match.
The first step is for you to return to the practice of your Faith. When you go alone, come home and be the best husband and father, so much that your wife and kids tell their friends “wow, your hubby/dad should go to Mass because it does something that makes my good dad into the best dad!”
As Christ said, let your light so shine before men that they see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. Be so much filled with light that your wife wants what you have.
Another thing, get a subscription to Formed.org
Many parishes offer it free to their parishioners, if not it is about the same as Netflix cost wise. Begin watching some of the programs (reading books, listening to books/talks, etc.) Then, when you see something your wife might find interesting, ask her to watch it with you. There are two excellent series about marriage, there is Symbalon about the Faith, there are things geared to teens, Bible studies, documentaries, movies, make this something that is available to your family.
There are things on there that will explain the Mass, help it become more than a boring cricket match.
You can’t (and shouldn’t try to) force others to go to a particular church because it is what you want to do.
If you want to go to mass, then go. Your wife and kids should be free to do the same, if they so desire. Or go to a church of their choosing.
Last year she went to something called WELL IF MERCY in NC. It was what she needed at the time. I mentioned it this time and she said my son would still be the same.
This shows that your wife (and, to a lesser extent, yourself) are looking at church as a ’ repair shop’. You want to fix things within your family. While mass is a good step, we don’t go for the primary purpose of ‘fixing’ flaws in our families-or even oneself. We go to worship God.
Yes, many churches have other ministries…groups for young people, couples, men, women. But the purpose of the church is to lift up God, not fix ourselves.
The fact that your wife wanted/expected one ministry to ‘fix’ your son shows that she had skewered motives. Yes, a good relationship with God should lead to a better relationship with one’s parents. But, don’t put the cart before the horse!
Since you, OP, are the one to ask for help, I’ll only tell you what, as I see it, is best for yourself…see your priest. He can tell you what programs are available at or through your church. I truly wish the best for you!
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