I have chosen a non-Catholic school for my daughter


#1

I checked all the schools in my neighbourhood and the only good school near us is a public school. They got a rating of 7.8/10 compared to the two Catholic schools: 6/10 and 3.3/10.

It was a no-brainer, but I now worry that the public school system will pull her away from the church as she grows up.

Any insights?


#2

You have to make the RIGHT choices for YOUR family!

Parents and the family life are the #1 influences on a child's life... so if FAITH is a priority, your child will pick up on that and that will be a priority for your child. There are certainly ways you can increase the priority of faith in your daily lives at home... praying together as a family is very important - also fulfilling your weekly obligation to go to Mass - and showing, by example, how important and special it really is. Be sure to be actively involved in their Religious Education Program (consider volunteering to be a teacher!)... these are all wonderful ways to show how faith is a priority in your lives!

The public school system can be a wonderful tool for many families - don't ever feel guilty for making the right choice for your particular situation!

:thumbsup:


#3

My first thought is what are they rating and who is doing the rating?

You know, I think all catholic parents face this issue and you just have to weigh all of the factors:

-costs
-academics
-evnironment
-catholicness (is that a word?)
-location

One thing that seems to hold true where I live is that the bulk of catholic elementary schools do a very good job w/ academics; however, they fall way short of most good public schools on the extreme end of academics. That is to say that the very smart kids and the kids who really struggle with academics are usually better served academically in a good public school. I realize this is a generalization, and I am sure there are plenty of exceptions, but it is definitely something we have noticed.

For us, we felt the catholic environment and parish community were important enough to offset the better academics available at our local public school. But every family’s situation is different and you just have to make the decision that is right for your familly.


#4

First off, I just want to say don't worry, sending your kids to a Catholic school isn't a magic bullet for their faith education anyway. I know plenty of people who fell away because their Catholic schools didn't Catechize well, for perceived (or real) hypocrisy, and for a plethora of other reasons.

No matter where a child goes to school, you'll need to be involved and aware of what messages are coming her way. One big stumbling block I see for a lot of teenagers is the perceived "intolerance" of gays by the Church. The line between anti-bullying and affirmation of the homosexual lifestyle is, in many places, non-existent. And public schools don't help much in terms of abstinence education, either.

Good luck!


#5

Parochial education is very important to our family, too. If we didn't have a couple very strong Lutheran schools in our area, we would be sending our kids to the Roman Catholic schools.

Peace to you.

[quote="Serap, post:1, topic:240613"]
I checked all the schools in my neighbourhood and the only good school near us is a public school. They got a rating of 7.8/10 compared to the two Catholic schools: 6/10 and 3.3/10.

It was a no-brainer, but I now worry that the public school system will pull her away from the church as she grows up.

Any insights?

[/quote]


#6

I’m in Canada and Catholic schools here are also free. The rating is done by testing grade 3 and grade 6 students in math and english. They all get the same standard test.

It is conducted by a Federally funded body called the Fraser Institute. It is being done so that parents can make educated decisions about where to send their children to school. I live in a big city and many city schools are lacking in good education. It’s important for me to ensure that my kids get a good education when they are young. I don’t want them playing catch-up in highschool or university (yes, I want to prep my kiddies for university later).

I am a very concerned mom who’s not very happy with the Catholic schools in my area.


#7

You did the right thing for your family.

You just need to continue living your Catholic faith and leading by example.

It'll work out.


#8

[quote="cradlecatholic5, post:7, topic:240613"]
You did the right thing for your family.

You just need to continue living your Catholic faith and leading by example.

It'll work out.

[/quote]

and when my kiddies are ready for highschool, it's the opposite :( The public highschool in my area scored a 3/10 and the Catholic one only scored a 5/10.

One way to get around it is to fake an address in the area that has a good highschool and I can get my kids in that way. I would have to rent a cheap place for a few months for proof of address and my kids would automatically go that area school. I would just need a phone bill and a Visa bill connected to that address.

Canada is great in many ways, but sucks sometimes too :o


#9

When I was in 12th grade (1997) all the schools here became non-denominational. I started at Our Lady of Mercy, where most teachers were Sisters. Then we moved and I transfered to another school, but still RC, all the way up through high school.

Now my daughter is four, and I have to register her for kinderstart next week. Unless I have $7000 (or a tenth of that each month) that I can put to tuition for the only Catholic school left here that I know of, she will have to go to the school I went to that was once Catholic but now has no denomination.

It makes me sad now. As a kid I didn’t see much in it. I didn’t like the uniform wearing. How silly I was because if only things were like that now. With some improvements …

So until I am able to provide the $7000 or a tenth of it each month, my daughter too will be attending a public once upon a time Catholic school and I hope and pray that I can keep her strong in her faith at home. :gopray2:


#10

[quote="mom2em, post:9, topic:240613"]
When I was in 12th grade (1997) all the schools here became non-denominational. I started at Our Lady of Mercy, where most teachers were Sisters. Then we moved and I transfered to another school, but still RC, all the way up through high school.

Now my daughter is four, and I have to register her for kinderstart next week. Unless I have $7000 (or a tenth of that each month) that I can put to tuition for the only Catholic school left here that I know of, she will have to go to the school I went to that was once Catholic but now has no denomination.

It makes me sad now. As a kid I didn't see much in it. I didn't like the uniform wearing. How silly I was because if only things were like that now. With some improvements ...

So until I am able to provide the $7000 or a tenth of it each month, my daughter too will be attending a public once upon a time Catholic school and I hope and pray that I can keep her strong in her faith at home. :gopray2:

[/quote]

Good education is very important to me and religion in school is secondary to me.

I went to a religious school too and I loved it!!! I wish I could do the same for my daughter and ensure her to have the best education possible.

I am with ya!!!


#11

I was raised in a strong faith based family, and went to secular schools (private and public) as did my sister, we are both fine. It's about you teaching your kid your faith, and monitoring what they are learning in school.

If our DD doesn't get into one of the 2-3 great charter schools in our area she will be at either my Churh's Lutheran School, or the Catholic School near us. I'd prefer the Charters as they are public schools and are free, but the lotteries to get in are INSANE. (2500 kids vying for 28-38 kindergarten spots)


#12

[quote="Serap, post:1, topic:240613"]
I checked all the schools in my neighbourhood and the only good school near us is a public school. They got a rating of 7.8/10 compared to the two Catholic schools: 6/10 and 3.3/10.

It was a no-brainer, but I now worry that the public school system will pull her away from the church as she grows up.

Any insights?

[/quote]

I have seen Catholic school kids that are more secular (to put it nicely) than kids from the public schools. I have also seen Catholic schools that have lower academic standards than public schools. The strongest binding element to keep a child close to God is the family, if the family is spiritually active the child becomes a solid Christian. I have seen catechists that send their children to public school and I can witness that they are good religious role model for their classmates.

My son asked to go to Catholic school and we were happy to oblige. However, we complemented his school learning with in house academic and religious support. This year he started high school, he attends a brand new diocesan high school. We are we are so pleased by the orthodoxy and by the academics.

What I am trying to say is that there is not unique solution and that you must be involved all the time with the religious part as well as the academic one.


#13

[quote="Cristiano, post:12, topic:240613"]
I have seen Catholic school kids that are more secular (to put it nicely) than kids from the public schools. I have also seen Catholic schools that have lower academic standards than public schools. The strongest binding element to keep a child close to God is the family, if the family is spiritually active the child becomes a solid Christian. I have seen catechists that send their children to public school and I can witness that they are good religious role model for their classmates.

[/quote]

:thumbsup:


#14

Thanks.

I just checked the highschools in my area :eek: They ALL suck!!! Catholic and public!!!! :eek:

3 Catholic highschools:

All boys: 4/10
All girls: 3/10
Co-ed: 4/10

Public:

3.3/10

Well, at least I have 10 years b4 I need to worry LOL! I'm gonna have to rent out an apt 10 years from now :thumbsup:


#15

All I can say is, it will be … interesting to see how things go. I’ve been away from the school system for so long now, that I’m not even entirely sure how much has changed. I am, in short, intimidated.

But … then hehe there isn’t much about parenting that isn’t intimidating really.:blush:


#16

Hi Serap! Wow, I can’t believe your little one is going to start school already!!! How time flies!!!

What I try to do is see what I can gather about the school from a moral point of view. The 7.8 vs 6 isn’t that huge of a difference if the moral environment of the 6 is much better than the one of the 7.8. Its hard to figure that out, but talking with parents that have send their children to either school can help. I know you said you decided and that it was a no brainer, but your concern about her moral upbringing is a very valid one as children are impressionable and are forming their conscience and whatever they learn in school can affect them greatly later in life. My priest, when asked about whether a Christian school with great facilities would be better than a good Catholic one with less facilities, mentioned that its more important to be a saint that to be a great scholar, and this is so very true. Now, it does not mean that sending ones child to whatever Catholic school is around is what would be best for every family, but it does mean that one cannot put academics over taking care of the spiritual area (and choosing public over Catholic school does not automatically mean you are doing this, if, for example, the Catholic school is Catholic in name only and does not follow the spirit of the Church, or if a school is an academic disaster that cannot be helped). And I don’t mean relying on the school to provide the spiritual background for the child, as this is a task for the parents, but I do mean learning about the school to make sure it supplements this, or at least does not cause harm/impede it. What I like about my Catholic school is that, for example, if someone in the school is pushing an agenda that is morally incorrect (abortion, encouraging sexual exploration, homosexuality, etc) I can talk with the school and see that it changes. In a public school that is not possible.


#17

[quote="lifeisbeautiful, post:16, topic:240613"]
Hi Serap! Wow, I can't believe your little one is going to start school already!!! How time flies!!!

What I try to do is see what I can gather about the school from a moral point of view. The 7.8 vs 6 isn't that huge of a difference if the moral environment of the 6 is much better than the one of the 7.8. Its hard to figure that out, but talking with parents that have send their children to either school can help. I know you said you decided and that it was a no brainer, but your concern about her moral upbringing is a very valid one as children are impressionable and are forming their conscience and whatever they learn in school can affect them greatly later in life. My priest, when asked about whether a Christian school with great facilities would be better than a good Catholic one with less facilities, mentioned that its more important to be a saint that to be a great scholar, and this is so very true. Now, it does not mean that sending ones child to whatever Catholic school is around is what would be best for every family, but it does mean that one cannot put academics over taking care of the spiritual area (and choosing public over Catholic school does not automatically mean you are doing this, if, for example, the Catholic school is Catholic in name only and does not follow the spirit of the Church, or if a school is an academic disaster that cannot be helped). And I don't mean relying on the school to provide the spiritual background for the child, as this is a task for the parents, but I do mean learning about the school to make sure it supplements this, or at least does not cause harm/impede it. What I like about my Catholic school is that, for example, if someone in the school is pushing an agenda that is morally incorrect (abortion, encouraging sexual exploration, homosexuality, etc) I can talk with the school and see that it changes. In a public school that is not possible.

[/quote]

I can 't believe how your family is growing too!

the 7.8 is in a very nice neighbourhood. the 6.0 is in a not so great neighbourhood. the 7.8 is a 2 min walk from our house and many of the kids there are Jewish/Protestant. The parents are all very educated and polite. I like the parents that send their kids there also.

The Catholic school would also require my daughter to cross a very busy street (which I don't like very much).

I hear what you are saying though. My DH is not religious and he would be very against me not sending her to the best school also.


#18

what are these ratings based on? I have a degree in Education and honestly many of these ratings aren’t even accurate or important. :shrug:


#19

Yes, they are accurate. It’s mandated by our government to do a standard English and Math test at grade 3 and grade 6. It’s a very good measuring stick.

It’s very important to me that my DD goes to the best school in my neighborhood.

They then rate all the schools out of a 10 in my city based on the test scores.


#20

Hello, Serap. I am in the same exact situation as you are. I have decided (yes, it was a tough decision and a curve ball to us) to register my kids at the public because we were disappointed with the parish school. It was just a school on parish grounds :( in terms of behavior, there were more well-mannered children in our public school which also excelled in academics. I see now that our parish school is behind in math significantly. We had planned a solid religious foundation for them, but now I have decided to home-school the religion part. I used to be a catechist and may have to do it again. But this is our situation.....our public school is excellent but lacks religion (formal ed); so I made it clear to my girls that we will be homeschooling religion in the fall.
I agree with the other posters, family is where they form their religious foundation. Show by example; it's not taught, it's caught.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.