Does anyone feel like this about life? I am not a mean or bitter person at all, but I often wonder why I just don’t understand things that come so easy for others. My prime example is money management. I don’t spend, I pay my bills, I struggle, and just as I see the light at the end of the tunnel… something catastrophic happens and puts me further behind than I ever was… so I keep plugging away, paying bills and living so frugally. Even picking jobs to work seems to be difficult for me. I think I am doing the right thing at the time, even pray about it… but then it isn’t beneficial to me or my family.
My credit score is horrendous, I haven’t gotten what I thought were contracted raises for the past 2 yrs, I took this job not because of the initial pay (which stinks) but for the future pay raises that didn’t come. Thinking that I could manage for a year and then start paying back on debts when I got my raise that was mentioned in my contract when I started. Two and a half years later, I still make my initial salary from when I started.
So here I am, wondering why I just don’t make good choices and why I keep believing that my raise is just around the corner, when obviously it is not. My boss keeps hinting at moving me up and even has me doing the work for this new position, which is extremely time consuming and very difficult. Do I really think I am going to get my raise or a promotion? Not really… I dream about it, but no, I really don’t think it will ever happen.
Why do I continue to try? I watch others around me get raises and negotiate contracts successfully… just not me. I have been called wonder woman and genius and all kinds of things that acknowledge my wide variety of talents and skills. Just no raise! So for the third Christmas season in a row, I am depressed that I can’t treat my children and husband to the things I want to buy them. I can walk a complete computer illiterate through complex things over the phone by memory… I can fix any electronic or mechanical thing I try, but I just can’t seem to negotiate a raise to save my life.
What am I doing wrong? What can I do to learn the skills I seem to be lacking? Any ideas?