I think my dad might have a mental health issue, or at least I think that would be better than if the way he acts is due to his own free will.
It’s just that ever since I can remember he bullied my mom, he beat her up twice when I was a kid, he always puts her down. He focuses and judges a lot on the superficial things like money and looks. He likes to have a lot of attention and do things that make him feel “powerful”. For example, he might help someone get a job, but not because he wants to be nice, it 's because he feels like he has some sort of “power” in shaping some aspect of a person’s life.
He sometimes reads prayers and “religious” things, but I don’t think it ever sinks in.
Once my uncle and my dad were having a discussion on what Jesus might have looked like. They were saying he looked black etc. I mentioned that no one really knows what Jesus looked, but that he probably looked like a Jewish man at that time and in that land.
My dad said that either way, they shouldn’t make pictures of Jesus with light hair and blue eyes.
I mentioned that not all Jews looked the same, that the Bible mentions that king David had blondish or reddish hair.
Then my dad said king David “Probably had highlights, he probably was a fag”
I couldn’t believe what he said, I can’t stand him. We usually all go to Mass together. Once we went and my mom didn’t argue with my dad that morning. But we got home and he called her “lard” just because my mom is overweight and wasn’t walking up the stairs quickly enough (in his point of view).
But I doubt my mom will ever leave him. This is the kind of example my dad sets for my brothers. My brothers say they are not like my dad, but they also don’t have much respect for my mom or me.
One of my brothers says vulgars things to me. I tried ignoring him, but he knows he’s getting to me. I’ve tried telling him that Jesus hears him etc. but he still thinks it’s funny to call me a “Ho” and I’m a virgin. He’s 25 so he knows better.
It just hurts me that he says things like that, basically for no reason. I know in anger people can say mean things, but I don’t do anything to provoke him, he just thinks its funny.
I’m just venting and rambling, but I guess they don’t care. They pobably just look at me as some religious nut.