Hello all, this is my first time posting. I was referenced here by my brother, who is a semenerian in the Dominican Order of Preachers.
In the last month or so I have felt empty and spirit-less. I feel alone even when I’m in large groups of people. I have indeed lost my faith. But not by a death or any other climatic reason, but becuase I can not comprehend one simple part of the the bible:
I was reading the New Testament when this little glitch popped into my head: Jesus performed many, many miracles. Some were on his apostles (like Mathew the tac collector), but most were in front of them atleast…meaning they witnessed Jesus’ power. They saw what he was capable of doing, so believing that he is god when he said so is very easy.
The problem I have is that after seeing FIRST HAND Jesus’ power, believing and following him thereafter, that Peter could deny him 3 times becuase his life was threatened. Deny a man he witnessed casting out demons and giving a blind man the gift of sight. That Judas could betray the same man he saw curing leprosy and other horrid diseases.
In todays world, we have far less evidence that Jesus’ is God. Far less visual proof that Peter or Judas. But how many of us Christians would die for Jesus’ name if we had to. I know that when I was at my peak of faith, I would have in a heartbeat.
The undeniable fact is that no two men could or would deny or betray Jesus unless they in a way didn’t believe him. How could they not believe him? They saw his power with their own eyes. So really there are only two conclusions to this - either these miracles did not happen and Jesus was nothing but a liar or Peter and Judas are the 2 weakest men to ever walk planet earth. Which makes me ask, why is Peter a Saint? And, then is it safe to say that the Catholic Church is only as strong as the man who founded it?
Please share your opinions, it might fill be back up.