I just found out that my uncles were mollested by priests


The priest who married my parents was a pedophile and he molested my uncles at that time. He went to prison for one year. He is defrocked and now owns a bed and breakfast a few towns away. Also, my mom said that if my grandpa had not died (right before I was born) she may have left the Church.

I now am really starting to think about this and have various questions and thoughts

  1. do defrocked priests get support from the diocese

  2. what if the Lord made it so my grandpa died so my parents wouldn't leave the Church and now I am really religious and I feel called to evangelization so maybe he died so that I could be Catholic and help others become Catholic.

  3. I'm thinking about writing a letter to the bishop just asking him to make sure that everything is done to ensure that people are not hurt by our priests and that he has my support.

  1. Do you mean financial support, or support in the form of counselling (due to the circumstances of his leaving the priesthood)? Or something else?

Since the priest is BOTH defrocked AND working in another occupation (and thus presumably earning enough to support himself) there’s no reason on earth why the diocese would specifically be supporting him financially. It doesn’t appear he would have any claim to any support. So you can be sure they aren’t doing that.

As for counselling and other things - well, the church through its various charitable arms offers these kinds of help to people who are in need, regardless of race, religion or other characteristics than their genuine need. So in as much as they would help anyone else in these ways, they may well be helping him too.

  1. God definitely called your Grandpa to Him, for He is the Lord of Life (and death). He didn’t ‘make’ any of the consequences that followed happen, though. Your mother chose of her own free will to remain in the Church, she certainly had the choice not to, so God didn’t ‘make’ that happen. And you turned out as you did for lots of different reasons, I’m sure, your grandpa’s death maybe contributed something to it, but again you have free-will and could have chosen not to follow the Catholic faith, or not to take the interest in evangelization that you do.

  2. Sounds like a good idea! I’m sure especially that your Bishop would love to hear that he has your support - there must be an almost overwhelming amount of negativity and criticism directed the way of our bishops. Maybe you can check on the Diocesan website first, though. Many diocese will post information on their websites about different policies they have about child abuse by priests, and different procedures and processes they have to handle and investigate complaints of child abuse by priests.


[quote="NFrancis, post:1, topic:202914"]
2. what if the Lord made it so my grandpa died so my parents wouldn't leave the Church and now I am really religious and I feel called to evangelization so maybe he died so that I could be Catholic and help others become Catholic.


I don't think God took your grandpa for the sole purpose of having your mother stay in the Church and having you become a strong Catholic. But I do believe that He makes all things work together for our good! He can always bring out the good in every situation.

I know a girl who was born from a woman who was raped. This girl is now in college at Steubenville, and she is on fire for God and an incredible pro-life witness.

I myself would not be who I am if it had not been for my parents' divorce.

Praise God that something good comes out of the bad in every situation! :)


First - I really don’t know the answer to any of the political questions, unfortunately for you I am sure there are no answers to give - as the priest was defrocked I am sure the diocese you live in will probably not tell you about his counseling, etc. Just think of it like a drunk driver that kills someone. It does not give the family a need-to-know 30 years later to go check his AA attendance even though it may help them - we need to be respectful of everyone although that can be hard. Sometimes it is the hardest to be the most charitable to the worst kind of sinners.

When I took the Virtus training and we saw the part of training when they interviewed molesters (who were not priests for the record) our coordinator asked and answered three questions.

Do we forgive them? Yes
Do we love them? Yes
Do we ever trust them again? Absolutely Not

So that being said you are an incredible woman for being as forgiving as you are and overcoming what you have and being a witness to forgiveness. I am sure going through our pastor and contacting your diocese and bearing witness to that forgiveness will only help heal your community from that scandal.

Remember the one who is forgiven the most - loves Christ the most when their sins are forgiven.

God bless you for your charity and love.


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