I don’t know what to do… I know this is bad and I love him, but sometimes I wish I’d be better off if he was dead.
My husband has been really inconsiderate for quite a while. I finally had enough and called him on it this morning and we had a blow out.
I work full time. My husband works full time too but right now he’s getting off around 2pm.
In the morning he gets DS ready while I get myself and DD ready. This is the most help he is all day.
My work and daycare are in the same town. Our house and DHs work are in another town. (30 minute drive). When I leave, I drop both the kids off at daycare.
I go and work my 8 hours; pick up the kids; drive home; start dinner while trying to entertain kids; fix a plate for me and the kids; play with them for about 10 or 15 minutes; start the bath; lay out clothes for next day and pajamas; put the kids in the bath; try to get them dressed quickly so nobody gets cold; Send DD out of the bedroom while I put DS to bed (they have to share a room); play a game with DD and read her a story or 3; put DD to bed; clean up the kitchen; make my lunch for the next day; pump some breastmilk; collapse into bed.
Here is what DH does: Gets off work around 2. Plays a few games of cards with the guys uptown; drinks a coke with some other guys; gets home before me and watches tv; after I get home, he watches more tv; Dinners ready? Oh good, I’ll fix a plate for myself, maybe I’ll just eat in front of the tv; plays a computer game while ignoring family; kids are in bed, watches more tv until after DW goes to bed; snores all night really loud.
To top this off this week he’s done two other things that really got to me.
- He took a picture of DD on his cellphone and sent it to his mom. She emailed ME to thank him for it. I knew nothing about it. I don’t mind that he sent it to her but I’M their mother. Didn’t he think I might like to see it TOO??? That really hurts. I can see where I rate. He doesn’t go out of his way to call her but she calls him almost every night (on his cell phone) and he’ll have a long conversation about everything with her. He won’t even talk about the weather to me.
- We have well water. I refuse to drink it. Its nasty. He refuses to have it tested. We buy bottled water to drink. I also buy jugs of water to keep in the fridge so we normally pour glasses of that, and I take a bottled water with me everymorning to have on the way to work. Last night I noticed there was only one left. I was going to put some in this morning after I took the last one out. DH NEVER drinks bottled water. He always drinks Cokes. But he’s very aware of what I do with the water. This morning, the last bottle was gone. I had nothing to eat my breakfast with. He told me to put one in the freezer… This was 5 minutes before I had to be out the door. :mad:
Anyway, we rarely ever fight. I always just roll over and let him keep treating me like ****. I will NOT fight or argue in front of the kids. (however, when I asked him if he took the last water and he said he did I said “gee, thanks aLOT” and my DD put her hand on her hip and said “Thanks aLOT, daddy” it was pretty cute) So after I got the kids dropped off and I was still in the car, I called him and we “talked”.
I asked him why he was so inconsiderate and selfish. He kept saying he “just forgot to put more water in there” I replied that that is exactly what “inconsiderate” means. I never heard an I’m sorry. Before anyone jumps my case, its not all about the water, he “just forgets” to do lots of stuff. I told him this was the straw that broke the camels back. He was going to start helping me around the house from now on. He’s told me in the past that he’ll do anything I want. He honestly TOLD me to nag him. He said this again today so I informed him that I’m not his mother, if he needs something that needs to be done, then he needs to be an adult and do it. I’m not going to nag him. So he says “like what?” I said how about putting the dirty dishes in the sink, or throwing the kids clothes in the hamper?
Then the water works started and I asked him why he thought to send those pics to his mom and not me? He snapped at me and said “they’re just pictures! I knew she would like them” like I don’t care about pics of my own kids??? so I flipped on him and said “well, I guess I see where I rate, mother-bleeper” and I hung up.
I know cussing at him wasn’t the solution but I have a bad temper. About 2 hours later, he sent me the pictures on my cell. I took a picture of my hand flipping the bird and I almost sent that to him, but I didn’t!