…that there is no God. I sincerely want to believe, and I think that I DO believe , but I have struggled with doubts and worries over the last month or so. I keep trying to reassure myself, but I just keep worrying that when I die… nothing… and it scares me immensely. I just feel like I needed to talk about it. I appreciate any help and prayers from you guys.
I know it can be hard to have these sorts of doubts, but it is especially hard if one hasn’t been Baptized, and if one doesn’t have Confession and Holy Communion to rely upon.
I discovered that, before my conversion, I really did just have an intellectual opinion about these things. It was only after I was received into the Church, and could lead a Sacramental life, thanks be to God, that I saw supernatural faith truly blossoming.
In the mean time, do seek out the intellectual answers to your questions, as there are more than enough answers to go around.
If it makes you any better, you don’t have to worry about this as this feeling/situation/experience even among devoted Christians are quite common.
The fact is we cannot know for sure, hundred percent sure that there is God. How we wish He could just appear to us, does all kinds of miracles to prove His existence, but alas that is not to be.
However, we can sort of justify His existence but the rest of it is by believing, by faith. This is the reason why there are many who do not want to believe because they do not want to believe something on faith.
I think the seed of faith has been planted in you and that is a grace for you. That is where you start and move from there.
Perhaps when you are alone at night gazing at the clear dark sky at the stars, you may want to wonder why they are all there. We learn from scientists that the vastness of the universe and the number of stars are immeasurable and uncountable. They are just too many in too big an area. But maybe there is something bigger that is responsible for all these.
You can call out, perhaps being a little silly, and say, are you out there God? If you do please give me a sign because I cannot believe that you exist?
Then wait and maybe you will find Him.
He said in His word, if you seek, you will find; if you ask, you will be given; and if you knock, the door will be open for you.
Try that with God and find for yourself.
You can come back here later and tell us what you find out. Don’t worry, we would not be hurt if you should find nothing, but it is indeed worth trying.
…consider the alternative: billions of eons ago, the just so conditions took place; eons of eons later, the just right condition (I call it the goldilocks syndrome/phenomenon) occurred; then, as murphy’s law would have it, the exact amount of energy was discharged and a microscopic-single-cell organism churned into existence… it decided (without skills, brains, abilities, awareness…) to divide into both plant and animal, multiply, fill the ooze, multiply some more, escape the liquidity, evolve into land organism, return to the liquidity, take flight… and eventually, become… us–no purpose, just transmutation gone rampant!
…now here we are caught up in this quest to transmute… are we going to become that single-cell-organism or are we going to transcend into the infinite?
God is the Infinite… it is He Who is missing us as we are Missing Him!
His Spirit, in us yearns to unite with Him… our awareness causes confusion because, as that child in the fable, we cannot take the Infinite (Yahweh God) and place it in the finite (man)…
Death is only the Beginning (yeah, hollowood got one right!
Here’s our great Hope:
25 Jesus said to her: I am the resurrection and the life: he that believeth in me, although he be dead, shall live: 26 And every one that liveth, and believeth in me, shall not die for ever. Believest thou this? (St. John 11:25-26)
…your first step is to take Jesus’ challenge: Do you Believe Jesus? If you do, do you Believe in Jesus?
God’s Promise is not that the Believers will get all sorts of “blessings” (wealth, health, power, longevity, happiness) but that the Believers will receive God’s Blessing: Grace, Mercy, Forgiveness, the Holy Spirit, and finally, Eternal Life–all, while on the Path through Calvary with destination to God (Heaven).
I look at it this way, there is such perfection, beauty in the human body that someone higher than us had to have created it. It did not happen randomly with some planets blowing up.
That person is God, Our loving Father.
Often, when we are trying to get closer to God, such as when we convert to Catholicism, the devil gets angry. He does what he can to discourage us by sending doubts, worrisome thoughts that are only temptations. They are not real. His goal is to discourage people from getting closer to Jesus because he wants them to permanently stop believing. He (the devil) is miserable and wants others to join his misery.
If these thoughts come to you, they are temptations. This is normal. Many of our holiest Saints experienced them. Gently distract yourself by saying the Name of Jesus or Mary or some other brief prayer you find meaningful. If you argue with these thoughts, they get stronger. Don’t let them worry you. Soon, they will pass.
If you have lingering doubts you can contact your local priest, your RCIA instructor or post on this forum your questions. Be not afraid, God is very close to you, helping you.
I feel you…I think everyone has had this question. It’s normal and believe me I have done my share of worrying. I be it comes down to having faith and praying . Take a moment and read the Bible …go to Mass and maybe just hang out with your brothers and sisters in CHRIST. Please know that you will be in my prayers …
Your brother in Christ