[quote="DarkLight, post:5, topic:312021"]
My main concern that I had with the series is that it goes overboard in treating human emotions and sexuality as dangerous. I understand the desire to avoid sin, even in becoming too attached to one you are not married to. But we have our human desires, and I think the series teaches young adults to be afraid of their sexuality rather than learning to control it properly.
It was a real challenge for me because I didn't fit what they talked about as how girls saw things, or desire the things they said women desired. I remember it sort of pushed me to withdraw completely and try to stay "innocent" in a way that I now feel was inappropriate for a young adult, without really giving a good model of what a relationship looked like.
Yeah, I would definitely agree.
I see real challenges with a model that focuses primarily on group dating. People who are more extroverted may do great with group dating, but more introverted people (like myself) would have difficulty with it.
When I talk to women about dating, they always express a desire to be pursued. They want the man to step up, take charge, and ask them out. This was a tough lesson for me to learn, because I used to be shy and lack confidence. (The fear of being turned down or creating an awkward situation is a very real fear for most guys.) But I finally forced myself to take charge and when I realized that a relationship wasn't going to magically come out of nowhere without me taking an initiative.
From what I've seen with I Kissed Dating Goodbye, guys never get comfortable pursuing women or behaving in any way other than as friends. Girls never learn how to respond to men (other than as friends). Both sexes wind up relating well as friends, but become very uncomfortable and awkward in any sort of relationship. I have friends who are well into their 30s that are great catches (faithful, kind, stable, attractive), but they have difficulty dating because they never quite learned how to act around the opposite sex.
I do think it's important to spend time with groups when dating, but I also think one-on-one time is very important. I spend far more time alone with my wife than I do in a group of friends.