My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now. For a few months we’ve been talking seriously about getting married after college (which is about three years away). We went into this relationship with the understanding that we both wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. This was a particular worry to me because I am Catholic and he is not. Not only is he not Catholic, he’s not really anything. He was raised Lutheran however he is no longer practicing (no one in his family is) and he doesn’t believe in basic Christian principles (like the Trinity). I know, it doesn’t sound like one of those ideal relationships that we wish our Catholic daughters would be involved in. But for a long time it was ideal. We were perfectly cute and pure, although temptations were always there. But lately, we’ve found ourselves giving into those temptations. We haven’t gone “all the way” but there are things that he thinks are ok that I don’t, like hand-jobs and other things that are typically considered to be "in the grey area. But, other than shirts, we’ve never removed our clothing although we have touched eachother’s “private parts”. It’s not something that’s been happening regularly for a long time, it’s only been recently and it’s happened no more than 3 or 4 times, once or twice where he moved my hand to touch him. I know I need to go to confession for my part in this behavior but I’m having trouble. Not only do I dread going to confession in general (I feel horrible enough about what I’ve done without someone reminding me how offensive it is) but it’s a much bigger issue than I’ve ever had to deal with before. I don’t know exactly what I’m expected to tell the priest.
I’ve talked to my boyfriend about this after the most recent incident. I stopped wearing my purity ring and I told him why. The visual helped to get it through to him that what we were doing isn’t right and although he says that he doesn’t agree, and he thinks these are ok, I can tell that he doesn’t actually believe that.
Help and prayers are much appreciated.
One more note, I love my boyfriend very much and I know he loves me too. I hope this doesn’t put either of us in a bad light. I know the solution to this isn’t to break up and find a better, Catholic boyfriend. I know God brought us together to love and be with eachother forever, we’re just having trouble with lust.