I know the stance on birth control but

True… I did not mean RP in anything but a more or less colloquial way, if that makes any sense. I was curious only to hear his thoughts.

I know what you meant :slight_smile: We’re good. I made that comment for the benefit of those who may have taken your statement literally.

I will keep you in my prayers, @brittanyjohns . :tulip: :pray:t2:

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Sweetheart, they are the shepherds of your soul, and you are the sheep. If they are wrong they will have to answer to God for it, not you. You have sought as many opinions as can reasonably be expected. Be at peace.


I agree with all of the above. I know of Bishop Olmsted, he’s a good Bishop. He revoked the ‘Catholic’ label from a hospital bc the nun running it allowed for one abortion that shouldn’t have taken place.

Anyways, I would use this drug (contraception) that they’re recommending. You could perhaps go off it for a year later (when you’re married) to try and conceive. That kind of sounds like a bad option for obvious reasons though. Maybe you could look into adoption? That too would be later. Right now, fix this medical situation. It in no way prevents you from being a parent or having a family.

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The OP is married and has four children.


Oh. I skimmed it and missed that. Well, she seemed obviously distraught to me. If she would like to be open to MORE life, then still, maybe your 5th child or beyond could be adopted. If not, then maybe God only wanted you to have 4 children.

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They are not wrong.



What if they’re wrong, you ask. What if anyone anywhere is wrong? What if everyone everywhere is wrong?

At some point you have to simply trust what your priests, bishop, and Church are telling you.


And Humanae Vitae is wrong? I doubt that.


I am on contraceptives for medical problems. They were quite severe and left untreated could be dangerous.

I suffered for many years with symptoms. After discussion with my priest I finally and begrudgingly went with an IUD and patches (not the pill). The problem was my body would reject the embryo so I had many chemical pregnancies (embryo that won’t stick to the uterine lining) so the device at least avoided ovulation so it actually made me feel less guilty. There is only so many miscarriages a body and marriage can take.

For my health it was the best thing I could have done for my family. They had their mother/wife back.

Go with your bishop and priests advice. Your family will thank you. I completely understand your pain.


You’ve spoken with five Priests and your Bishop - what makes you think random people on the internet are going to give you better advice?


I am so sorry you are suffering through this.

There is no harm in taking the pill. Maybe your husband will be happy it means no more children. So what. You have four children, for heaven’s sake! I think you both are quite open to life. You are doing your best to raise 4 children on a daily basis. How much more open does one need to be?

You seem to have some religion issues regarding all of this and nobody here is going to be able to help you with that. Talk with your priest to help you get over this.

You deserve a decent life, one where you are able to enjoy the four beautiful children you have. You don’t need to be suffering needlessly.


Something to consider. I have an autoimmune condition that causes clotting issues that are not severe enough to cause an issue for my body directly but can be enough to make it difficult for a fertilized egg to implant or cause an early miscarriage. Even with using NFP, there’s a chance I may conceive and the fertilized egg would have extra difficulty implanting or receiving the nutrients needed to survive unless I’m taking blood thinners (the primary one of which I can’t take while breastfeeding). Am I being irresponsible by using NFP even though there’s an increased chance I may have a miscarriage/spontaneous abortion if I miscalculate and we conceive?

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If you would trust the bishop and priests with other matters if ethics and theology, trust them here.

If you find that you cannot do so, maybe reach out to the National Catholic Bioethics Center.



Birth control pills work***by emitting naturally-occurring hormones estrogen and progestin to prevent pregnancy. These hormones stop sperm from fertilizing an egg by stopping ovulation. … The hormones in the pill also thicken cervix mucus, meaning it is more difficult for the sperm to get to the egg
They are not acceptable to the Church because they prevent life, we become pleasure seeking sex objects who take decisions away from God with bad potential side effects to our physical bodies and definitely to our souls.
You have sought good advice from priests and sound like your husband is good. You sound like you have faith- what Jesus and his apostles did before anything was pray. In Luke there are many examples. You should follow their advice and pray. He knows our hearts and there lies the intention to do His will not our own.
Someone gave you the teaching of the Church, pray and have faith. Do not be afraid. These are teachable moments for us when we ask in prayer and in suffering. He will lead you. I believe if you take what you were told to heart, you can stop over thinking this and have peace. The peace He gives us. Rest in Him!
I am a woman, I had many reproductive problems- staying pregnant- I couldn’t have 4 children but thanks to a doctor I was referred to finally - he found out why. There was nothing wrong with the babies it was my own body malfunctionimg. I was able to have 2 children years apart and still suffered a death in utero. It was a random occurrence. After each loss, for a long time I was plagued by constantly trying to think what I may have done to cause it. I even wouldn’t eat what ever I ate before it happened. I used NFP in my life because there were times I couldn’t take it anymore, it was more than I could bear. You sound the way I felt. Sad and defeated. Pray.
Count your Blessings daily -write them down every day -try it for a month - it’s amazing what you find
Search for a good doctor, even with an hmo you can find a good one that specializes in what you have - it saved me from a life with no children.
Do your own research - from medical professionals. Pray
Mostly stop and listen to the priests you spoke with, they are here to help us. They are the experts on the teachings and all said the same thing! They aren’t all wrong. Pray.
Don’t listen to people’s opinions over the experts so many opinions and they share a lot if misinformation.
Let yourself live for God with joy!

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Using a drug that causes sterilization to treat a serious medical condition is entirely licit.


They are an excellent resource and can give you a reply based on the specifics of your case.

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She has already spoken to priests, including a bishop.

OP, listen to your priest and be at peace.


Exactly, double effect is the moral theology concept that this talks about.

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