[quote="MadMax73, post:1, topic:271782"]
I recently told my wife of 15 years that she should stop checking her fertility (Clearblue method) as I would rather live celibately by choice than by force.
You see I couldn't keep watching Phase I and Phase III go by with the constant rejection and avoidance. Then it dawned on me that it wasn't the sex that I want, I want her to want me like I want her. I realized that she never has been that person. For 15 years it was always me who initiated and about 4 times a year she would give in. While she is very fit and beautiful she has never been a physical person.
Since I couldn't explain my feelings without choking up several with tears I wrote her a note telling her how I felt and so forth.
The problem is she hasn't responded in any way and it has almost been a week. We have a 9 year old and 7 year old so we don't have much free time to ourselves.
Please pray for my situation. I don't know if I can bring this subject up without getting emotional but I have decided to suffer with the Lord on this topic since I can't have what I really want.
Man and women have different rhythms and arousals.
Moreover each person is different.
Moreover, marriage makes monotony.
One cause I can see: "We do not have much free time to ourselves". Then, you must be deeply organized to profit from the little time you have. I would not give up the fight.
I do not think the celibacy position is not a way out as you are not monk and nun.
Try, try, try till you find a solution.
Another misstep is to wish you to want you as you want her. Definitely not for she is a Lady and you are a man and moreover each person is different: some like it wild and fast, others soft and slow, some show it outwardly others do not show no emotion at all. To as her to be like you is impossible.
If you do not have what you want, better want what you have.
And you have a wife, she is faithful to you, you have kids, boy, these times, that is very good.
Why dont you accept her like She is?