I love someone who doesn't love me back


Hi everyone. I am incredibly depressed right now. My best friend, Darrell, just rejected me again. :frowning: I asked him for once chance and he said that he had already given me a chance but I told him that it wasn’t official and I didn’t know he was giving me a chance or I wouldn’t have made the mistakes that I did. Well, he doesn’t want to give me another chance. :frowning: I’m so depressed. I love Darrell so much but he doesn’t love me back. Please pray for me that I would accept God’s will in this matter.


Our dear Holly, it hurts so much when someone you care for rejects you. It’s horrible when you feel helpless because someone won’t give you a chance or allow you a say in what happens. If Darrell refuses to give you another chance, you’re right, he doesn’t really love you. I really do hope that you do find the unconditional love that you need.

We all hope you will find love, peace, and happiness Holly. We’ve come to know you, and we really wish you the best. As you ask, I do ask God to help you to accept what He wishes for your life.

Please gently look after yourself. Love, Trishie


Thanks Trishie. I appreciate your kind and heartfelt post. I just can’t quit crying. :frowning:


It’s natural that you can’t stop crying Holly. You’re hurting too much.

A big hug from way across in Australia


Praying for you that you seek God’s will and courageously do it and find peace which is beyond all understanding.


Dear Jesus

Please enfold Holly in your arms, comfort her and shower her with your love- may she know how great your love is, how unconditional and powerful it is. Bless her Father and may your Holy Spirit rest on her, bringing with him peace and a hope for the future. Please help Holly to find unconditional love, firstly from you and then from someone dear to you. Heal her heart with your love and give her your grace.



Dear Holly. I echo what Trishie said to you. You are obviously capable of giving great love and one day you WILL see that God wants better for you.

Right now you are in great pain. I know, I’ve been there so many times. Try and accept and keep on praying for acceptance. Don’t chase Darrell. Let him go.
We love you. :grouphug:


Oh my dear…I too have been where you are. I thought I would never find real love and someone to love me back but I did…but God has a plan for all of us…When you least expect it…you will find your miracle. Let go and Let God handle this for you. You are a strong beautiful person with so much to give. I am so sure that God has a beautiful person waiting for you…May God give you peace and serenity to accept things as they are; courage to change things you can; and above all Wisdom to know the difference. You know the hard part in all of this is that clock…we all want it now…but God’s clock isn’t the same as ours. Keep your chin up and your Faith strong. You are loved by so many.
I’m keeping you in my prayers.


Praying for your peace of mind and happiness and that God’s will be done!


I’ll second what everyone else has been saying - you sound like you have a wonderful capacity for love; but if it isn’t meant to be with this person, then it only means that the Lord has someone even better in mind for you! Please try to keep strong, so many of us here care about you. :slight_smile:

Praying that you’ll find healing and peace in this situation.


In the short time, do what whatever makes you feel better, if crying works do some of that, if going to some of the places y’all use go to works, then do that, if visiting the Dairy Queen is it, do that.

The intial pain is the hardest, but when acceptance sets in, you will begin to get past this.

I’m thinkin you need a road trip.

Learn from whatever happened in y’all’s relationship. It sounds like ya did something he just couldn’t live with, I dunno.


If you love someone, :heart:
set them free,:sad_bye:
if they return to you, they were yours,:hug3:
if they don’t, track them down and hurt them :slapfight:

Holly, hold your head up high…this is his loss, not yours. You are in our prayers.


I know exactly how you feel I was also rejected by someone I considered to be a very good friend. I met him at school in a class. A few months later he was sent to Iraq when his National Guard unit was sent there on deployment. He lost my e-mail shortly before he left so I did not have any contact with him the entire year he was in Iraq. When he was there to men from his unit were killed and I did not know if he was all right so I prayed everyday and I asked God if it was his will to put us back in contact. When he got home God answered my prayers and through a chain of events that that in no way could be coincidental we were reunited and I found out he was unhurt in the attack. When we were reunited I wanted to spend some time with him to get our friendship back on track. Now he was just a friend I don’t involve myself in romantic relationships at all because I’ve chosen a life of celibacy. I decided to serve as a teaching assistant in one of his classes because I was a graduate student by this time and I could do that so I volunteered so that we could be in class just like old times. That turned out be the worst decision I could have possibly made. He was nothing like he was before going to Iraq he refused to do his work which forced me to constantly get after him because that was my job as teaching assistant. That put a severe strain on our friendship and then within a month I had two family members die and I became ill myself. During this turmoil I relied almost completely on him for moral support calling him almost everyday. Because of him not doing his work I began to not trust anything he was telling me so that’s what eventually doomed our friendship was my complete dependence on him and the lack of trust. But instead of telling me outright he was ending our friendship and they don’t want to be friends anymore this is what he did instead. He waited till we both moved away from school and on the second to last conversation he acted as if everything was fine but after I moved he simply did not call me anymore and would not return my calls I’ve tried in vain for months to get in touch with him in vain and I was very distressed because I didn’t know where he was. I waited a few weeks and called his number but this time he answered the phone and pretended not to know who I was when that did not work the last words he said to me were I’m sorry but… and hong up the phone. A few months later someone had told me he had been sent back to Iraq and the unit I thought he was with took casualties so I did not know if he was alive or dead but I continued to e-mail him with no response. Finally another friend of mine found out that not only was he not in Iraq he was no longer even in the military at all. It was only then I realized that when I moved he had no intention of contacting me ever again and the last phone call we had was actually him ending our friendship for good. I was so angry and so hurt that I spent over a year looking for him and then thinking he was in Iraq again and then I felt like an idiot for not realizing sooner that he had ended our friendship. During that year I spent looking for him I was so depressed and I didn’t think I could’ve lived without his friendship I cried every day and wondered what I had done and why he wasn’t talking to me but once I found out that he allowed me to think he was killed in Iraq when he was no longer even in the military rather than answer my e-mail I completely lost it and I hated him for almost a year for it I could not understand how I’d done something so horrible to deserve that kind of treatment. It will be three years this January since I’ve talked to him. Now I no longer hate him but I’m still struggling to forgive him. As painful as that experience was for me it taught me some valuable lessons about friendship and now all of my other friendships are stronger because this experience taught me how not to deal with combat veterans and that has served me well over the last couple years since I’ve worked with a lot of vets. I know it feels like your world has collapsed and you cannot live without Darryl I felt like that for over a year and I cried every single day now I try to pray for my former friend and I asked God to give me the strength to forgive him. You will make it through this rough time and you’ll be better for it. I know from experience that my situation made me a better person and has caused me to really appreciate my other friendships and not make the same mistakes again.


God’s will be done!


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.