I loved a non virgin girl


#1

I loved a girl who is not a virgin being sex with her bf more than three or five times. I’m not sure how many time it happened. I felt so sad when she confess that. She has still a relationship with her bf. But she loves me now and she wants to come to me if she could. I love her too. And what should I do? Should I wait and accept her? I want to accept too but the fact that she had sex is bothering me if I should wait or not even though I love her.
Pls give me advices what you think friends…


#2

Your religion is listed as Buddhist.

Are you asking from a Buddhist worldview?


#3

With all due respect, the question you are asking has nothing to do with Catholicism.

If you’re bothered by the fact that the girl you like is not a virgin, that’s your own hangup and something for you to decide whether you can set that aside. If you can’t set it aside then don’t have a relationship with the girl, because no one wants to be constantly criticized or viewed with disdain by their partner for things that they did in their past life.


#4

Your question has nothing to do with Catholicism. A practicing Catholic does not want sex outside of marriage.


#5

Also, if she still has a relationship with the old boyfriend, where is that leaving you? Not sure what you are saying when you say she wants to come to you. Does she mean she will be there only if you have a sexual relationship? If that is the case, let her “stay” with the boyfriend. It just sounds like the whole thing is too entangled for anything to be decided clearly.


#6

Continuing the discussion from I loved a non virgin girl:

Continuing the discussion from I loved a non virgin girl:

Not just from buddhist.
I want to hear the advices across all religion.
How do you think about that?


#7

Catholics do not hold someone’s past sins against them. We encourage each other to seek forgiveness in Confession.

In the basic, human sense, do not ask for details. It is none of your business unless she was:

Married
Has an STD
Has a child

And then only the facts matter. The who how many times is only going to cause you agony.

Do you have a list of “deal killers”?

Some folks would list:

Non-smoker
No drugs
Must be employed on in school full time
No pet cats
No people with blue eyes

These lists can go on and on, some people will want to only marry a virgin, so they only date a virgin. Make your list and then stick to it.

Lastly, if she is still with another guy, she is playing with your head/feelings. Do you know this person IRL? If not, the whole “my boyfriend does not understand me” can quickly go to “my boyfriend is mean to me, but, I have no money to pay my phone bill or to come see you” and then the guy on the other end begins paying her money. This is casually called “Catfishing”.

Do you know she is on the up and up? If so, she must decide between the two of you.


#8

Thanks for your advice


#9

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