I missed HDO Mass- can I receive Communion?

I missed Mass on December 8th-Immaculate Conception. I had every intention of going to the last mass. Then my home-bound grandmother called me and needed groceries and was alone. I consciously chose to keep my grandma company instead of making that last Mass as an act of mercy/love and then did make it to my bible study that night. I am repentant for missing a Holy Day of Obligation and never intended to separate myself from my Lord. I must confess I have a hard time making it to Mass but I push myself and go regularly with my husband and children.

I denied myself communion until Christmas but then really felt God forgave me as I am trying my best to be a good daughter and receiving Him is what I need most. I intend to confess this next time I go to confession. These are my questions:

  1. Was it a mortal sin to not go to mass on Dec. 8th or just venial since there was no real intention to separate myself from Him?
  2. Was it another mortal sin to go to communion without Confession?
  3. If I am under mortal sin for missing mass should I abstain from Communion until I go to confession?

Thank you for your help!

[quote="mrsfig, post:1, topic:181654"]
I missed Mass on December 8th-Immaculate Conception. I had every intention of going to the last mass. Then my home-bound grandmother called me and needed groceries and was alone. I consciously chose to keep my grandma company instead of making that last Mass as an act of mercy/love and then did make it to my bible study that night. I am repentant for missing a Holy Day of Obligation and never intended to separate myself from my Lord. I must confess I have a hard time making it to Mass but I push myself and go regularly with my husband and children.

I denied myself communion until Christmas but then really felt God forgave me as I am trying my best to be a good daughter and receiving Him is what I need most. I intend to confess this next time I go to confession. These are my questions:

  1. Was it a mortal sin to not go to mass on Dec. 8th or just venial since there was no real intention to separate myself from Him?
  2. Was it another mortal sin to go to communion without Confession?
  3. If I am under mortal sin for missing mass should I abstain from Communion until I go to confession?

Thank you for your help!

[/quote]

You probably had good reason to miss Mass, but wow, going all this time with this spot on your conscience? All that stress building inside your body? Confession, definitely. You can confess doubtful sins, happens all the time.

[quote="mrsfig, post:1, topic:181654"]
I missed Mass on December 8th-Immaculate Conception. I had every intention of going to the last mass. Then my home-bound grandmother called me and needed groceries and was alone. I consciously chose to keep my grandma company instead of making that last Mass as an act of mercy/love and then did make it to my bible study that night. I am repentant for missing a Holy Day of Obligation and never intended to separate myself from my Lord. I must confess I have a hard time making it to Mass but I push myself and go regularly with my husband and children.

I denied myself communion until Christmas but then really felt God forgave me as I am trying my best to be a good daughter and receiving Him is what I need most. I intend to confess this next time I go to confession. These are my questions:

  1. Was it a mortal sin to not go to mass on Dec. 8th or just venial since there was no real intention to separate myself from Him?
  2. Was it another mortal sin to go to communion without Confession?
  3. If I am under mortal sin for missing mass should I abstain from Communion until I go to confession?

Thank you for your help!

[/quote]

I think that either it was a mortal sin--that is, you knew quite well it was a serious obligation, but failed to meet it when you reasonably could have because you could find an excuse not to make it a priority--or it was not a sin at all, because your grandmother's situation was truly pressing enough to relieve you of the obligation.

Another question: does "I have a hard time making it" mean that this is not the first time you've missed your minimum requirements recently? A trend is not good.

You've been to Mass a quite a few times since this happened. How have you not found a way to go to confession? To even ask a priest about your sitation?

It is not a good idea to trust the "I feel God forgave me" rationale. People use this to abandon marriages, betray trusts, evade responsibilities, and you name it. No, we are not any better at judging ourselves than other people are at judging themselves. We all have mirror blindness.

Talk to a priest in person, and don't choose one on the basis of the answer you think you'll get. That is the best way I know to sort through both false rationalizations and false self-accusations.

:blush: Geez, the way you put it makes it quite simple. Duh! You're right. Shoulda just marched myself to a confessional. Tomorrow is Saturday...I wish there were confessions more readily available. Thanks!

[quote="mrsfig, post:4, topic:181654"]
:blush: Thanks!

[/quote]

Don't mention it. And your grandmother is lucky to have a grandchild like you.;)

[quote="mrsfig, post:1, topic:181654"]
I missed Mass on December 8th-Immaculate Conception. I had every intention of going to the last mass. Then my home-bound grandmother called me and needed groceries and was alone. I consciously chose to keep my grandma company instead of making that last Mass as an act of mercy/love and then did make it to my bible study that night. I am repentant for missing a Holy Day of Obligation and never intended to separate myself from my Lord. I must confess I have a hard time making it to Mass but I push myself and go regularly with my husband and children.

I denied myself communion until Christmas but then really felt God forgave me as I am trying my best to be a good daughter and receiving Him is what I need most. I intend to confess this next time I go to confession. These are my questions:

  1. Was it a mortal sin to not go to mass on Dec. 8th or just venial since there was no real intention to separate myself from Him?
  2. Was it another mortal sin to go to communion without Confession?
  3. If I am under mortal sin for missing mass should I abstain from Communion until I go to confession?

Thank you for your help!

[/quote]

Wow...It sounds like your track record is one of sincere worship. I'm certainly no theologian...but wouldn't God recognize the love for your grandmother as out of his love for us and your love for him?

I think I would probably confess also...but not because I thought that I was in a state of mortal sin...but rather for the grace to be able to make a good decision next time without worry.

[quote="mrsfig, post:1, topic:181654"]
I missed Mass on December 8th-Immaculate Conception. I had every intention of going to the last mass. Then my home-bound grandmother called me and needed groceries and was alone. I consciously chose to keep my grandma company instead of making that last Mass as an act of mercy/love and then did make it to my bible study that night. I am repentant for missing a Holy Day of Obligation and never intended to separate myself from my Lord. I must confess I have a hard time making it to Mass but I push myself and go regularly with my husband and children.

I denied myself communion until Christmas but then really felt God forgave me as I am trying my best to be a good daughter and receiving Him is what I need most. I intend to confess this next time I go to confession. These are my questions:

  1. Was it a mortal sin to not go to mass on Dec. 8th or just venial since there was no real intention to separate myself from Him?
  2. Was it another mortal sin to go to communion without Confession?
  3. If I am under mortal sin for missing mass should I abstain from Communion until I go to confession?

Thank you for your help!

[/quote]

  1. It is a grave matter to miss Mass during a day of obligation. Grave matter is necessary but not sufficient for a mortal sin. Talk to your confessor about it.
  2. It is a grave matter to receive Communion while in a state of mortal sin. Talk to your confessor about it.
  3. If you are in a state of mortal sin you must refrain from receiving communion. However, Canon Law allows reception for some extreme case and mandates confession ASAP.

Pope John Paul II made it clear that if we know that some action is grave matter and we do it intentionally, then we commit mortal sin even if we say that we really do not want to offend God. Having said that, there are some cases where we have dispensation from attending Mass.

I have being very careful in this post to describe what the Church says without saying that you are in s state of mortal sin because I do not know. My suggestion is to go to confession and discuss it with the priest. Confession is a sacrament that not only helps us in obtaining forgiveness but it should also be used to form our conscience.

[quote="Cristiano, post:7, topic:181654"]
1. It is a grave matter to miss Mass during a day of obligation. Grave matter is necessary but not sufficient for a mortal sin. Talk to your confessor about it.
2. It is a grave matter to receive Communion while in a state of mortal sin. Talk to your confessor about it.
3. If you are in a state of mortal sin you must refrain from receiving communion. However, Canon Law allows reception for some extreme case and mandates confession ASAP.

Pope John Paul II made it clear that if we know that some action is grave matter and we do it intentionally, then we commit mortal sin even if we say that we really do not want to offend God. Having said that, there are some cases where we have dispensation from attending Mass.

I have being very careful in this post to describe what the Church says without saying that you are in s state of mortal sin because I do not know. My suggestion is to go to confession and discuss it with the priest. Confession is a sacrament that not only helps us in obtaining forgiveness but it should also be used to form our conscience.

[/quote]

I think the question is...Did she really commit a mortal sin. And of that point I'm not sure she did.

[quote="spn82756, post:8, topic:181654"]
I think the question is...Did she really commit a mortal sin. And of that point I'm not sure she did.

[/quote]

My point is that we cannot determine that, and if we were to say either yes or not we would be judging her soul. We are not allowed to do that, she and her confessor are the only two that can determine that.

[quote="mrsfig, post:1, topic:181654"]
I missed Mass on December 8th-Immaculate Conception. I had every intention of going to the last mass. Then my home-bound grandmother called me and needed groceries and was alone. I consciously chose to keep my grandma company instead of making that last Mass as an act of mercy/love and then did make it to my bible study that night. I am repentant for missing a Holy Day of Obligation and never intended to separate myself from my Lord. I must confess I have a hard time making it to Mass but I push myself and go regularly with my husband and children.

I denied myself communion until Christmas but then really felt God forgave me as I am trying my best to be a good daughter and receiving Him is what I need most. I intend to confess this next time I go to confession. These are my questions:

  1. Was it a mortal sin to not go to mass on Dec. 8th or just venial since there was no real intention to separate myself from Him?
  2. Was it another mortal sin to go to communion without Confession?
  3. If I am under mortal sin for missing mass should I abstain from Communion until I go to confession?

Thank you for your help!

[/quote]

It wasn't possible to tell her you would stop at the store for her and then by her house AFTER Mass?

The question of mortal sin and confession is interesting and all, but I ask:

Why did you plan to go to the last Mass available?

Maybe you had to work beforehand?

I almost never go to the last mass (unless for example I'm doing a 24-hour shift from Sat morning to Sun morning, then I need to nap on Sunday and go to a 5pm mass, but even then there are 7 and 8pm masses available in my city).

[quote="newyorkcatholic, post:11, topic:181654"]
The question of mortal sin and confession is interesting and all, but I ask:

Why did you plan to go to the last Mass available?

Maybe you had to work beforehand?

I almost never go to the last mass (unless for example I'm doing a 24-hour shift from Sat morning to Sun morning, then I need to nap on Sunday and go to a 5pm mass, but even then there are 7 and 8pm masses available in my city).

[/quote]

Not everybody has the opportunity for late Masses like that. In all of my city...there is one 7pm Mass on Sunday.

But...aren't we overlooking the apparent fact that this person is faithful? It seems to really bother her that she missed. It just doesn't seem as though taking care of her grandmother was a way to get out of Mass...rather something she needed to do.

[quote="newyorkcatholic, post:11, topic:181654"]

Maybe you had to work beforehand?

[/quote]

I'm glad you asked that question. The OP mentioned that it was a HDO; in my experience HDO Masses are on a completely different schedule, especially if it's a workday HDO. If it's at your own parish and they usually announce the Mass times beforehand you are fine, but many of us have to find a lunchtime or after-work Mass at some other parish to attend. Sometimes when we find the most convenient it might already be too late. I'm not necessarily defending the OP, just trying to state some realities here.

Hello all,

I am a practicing Catholic with many failings and getting to Mass is one of my main struggles. I knew the 8th was an HOD, when my grandma called me, it was unexpected, the noon mass had already passed and I knew I could still make the 7pm mass right before my bible study. She was very depressed at the time and as I mentioned home-bound.

I did her shopping and when it was time to leave, I debated whether to stay with her just a little longer or go to Mass. She didn't want me to leave and I was even late to my study. My grandma is VERY devout and I prayed with her. I decided to keep her company and miss Mass hoping God wouldn't consider it a mortal sin against me.

I did email my spiritual advisor, my parish priest, the next day but he never replied and I just got caught up in the busyness of the holidays and abstained like I mentioned until Christmas Mass. I am VERY aware of being spiritually prepared to receive our Lord. During the homily, the Priest spoke of the Eucharist and how that day of all days was the most important to receive Him. I spoke the words, "Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word, and I shall be healed."

I know this doesn't make up for confession but I know three things are required for a sin to be mortal one of which is for the intention to be separated from God, which I was not. On this principal alone, I believe I was not in mortal sin.

Oh Dear Lord, I am not trying to make excuses and like I mentioned previously, I realize I should have gone to confession weeks ago. I just want to know if indeed it was a mortal sin or not. Thanks for your help!

[quote="mrsfig, post:14, topic:181654"]
I know this doesn't make up for confession but I know three things are required for a sin to be mortal one of which is for the intention to be separated from God, which I was not. On this principal alone, I believe I was not in mortal sin.

[/quote]

I want to repeat that it is not up to me to assess if you are in a state of mortal sin. However, the statement that you posted is wrong and JPII made it clear that the intention of committing the grave matter is the third requirement for mortal sin even if the person does not want to be separated from God. This is one of the side effects of free will.

[quote="mrsfig, post:14, topic:181654"]
Hello all,

I am a practicing Catholic with many failings and getting to Mass is one of my main struggles. I knew the 8th was an HOD, when my grandma called me, it was unexpected, the noon mass had already passed and I knew I could still make the 7pm mass right before my bible study. She was very depressed at the time and as I mentioned home-bound.

I did her shopping and when it was time to leave, I debated whether to stay with her just a little longer or go to Mass. She didn't want me to leave and I was even late to my study. My grandma is VERY devout and I prayed with her. I decided to keep her company and miss Mass hoping God wouldn't consider it a mortal sin against me.

I did email my spiritual advisor, my parish priest, the next day but he never replied and I just got caught up in the busyness of the holidays and abstained like I mentioned until Christmas Mass. I am VERY aware of being spiritually prepared to receive our Lord. During the homily, the Priest spoke of the Eucharist and how that day of all days was the most important to receive Him. I spoke the words, "Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word, and I shall be healed."

I know this doesn't make up for confession but I know three things are required for a sin to be mortal one of which is for the intention to be separated from God, which I was not. On this principal alone, I believe I was not in mortal sin.

Oh Dear Lord, I am not trying to make excuses and like I mentioned previously, I realize I should have gone to confession weeks ago. I just want to know if indeed it was a mortal sin or not. Thanks for your help!

[/quote]

I have been lurking in this thread and debated as to whether or not to respond, but there are some things in your latest post that have ne perplexed. Please know that I am not trying to be judgmental. However, you note that your grandma is very devout. As someone who is devout, I am sure that she would have encouraged you to have gone to Mass and take care of your obligation to God, first and foremost.

Remember that the first commandment, above all else, is to love God. Loving God means offering Him the worship that is due His supreme Majesty and keeping the precepts of the Church regarding this solemn duty. Leaving your obligation to keep holy this day of obligation by assisting at Mass was not a wise thing to do. You never know what will pop up. In hindsight, it would have been better for you to have gone the day before or much earlier in the day. Even this obligation is more important than your Bible study group.

We are not obliged to assist at our local parishes when it comes to the Mass. There have been times when I will go to the Mass at the parish closest to me, or even at the local hospital chapel. I will even adjust my schedule to accommodate the Mass, whether it's waking up a little earlier to catch an early morning Mass or finding a church near by during lunchtime. I am sure that your diocesan website has the times and locations for Masses throughout your area.

I love both of my late grandmothers. In fact, my paternal grandma was almost in a situation similar to yours. However, she always made sure that I fulfilled my obligation first to God, then to her. You need to realize that.

I also suggest that, rather than wallowing in this thread, you go to Confession as soon as possible instead of letting this fester and find ways, as I see it, to justify yourself and your actions. Like I said earlier, I do not want to judge you, but there are some things in your posts that do not add up.

[quote="benedictgal, post:16, topic:181654"]
We are not obliged to assist at our local parishes when it comes to the Mass. There have been times when I will go to the Mass at the parish closest to me, or even at the local hospital chapel.

[/quote]

Even this is a tough call. Last year I was visiting my dying father at the hospital and I took the half hour off and attended the Mass in the hospital chapel. I don't think he ever forgave me for leaving him like that and I felt very guilty about it at the time.

[quote="spn82756, post:8, topic:181654"]
I think the question is...Did she really commit a mortal sin. And of that point I'm not sure she did.

[/quote]

Yes, but the only person who can tell her for sure is her priest. It is definately a virtue for her to care for her gransmother and stay to keep her company if she lives alone and doesn't have many visitors. However, there are other options sure as possibly taking Grandma with her to Mass. In this same situation, I would have called the next day to make an appointment with the priest or at least gone to the next regularly scheduled confession time.

Also, we should of course continue to go to Mass each Sunday even in this situation. Just refrain from receiving until you have spoken to the priest and either made a sacramental confession or had him tell you that it is not a sin.

Thank you to all for your replies. You are right. This is again, having to do with my struggle to not make Mass a priority in my life. I am making excuses for myself, even if they seem worthy ones and of course, I didn't make it to confession yesterday. I am ashamed. :

God bless you all for your honesty and encouragement to do the right thing.

Keep trying, mrsfig. The only one rooting for you not to succeed in going to Mass and confession is the devil...and I don't think you want to be on his team! Prayers for you.

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