I need advice/answers/prayer


#1

Hello my name is Darren, I am 18 and a senior in High School. And I have been discerning a call to the priesthood since Febuary 2009. I remember the night well that I received God’s call. Well I will begin by stating were I am coming from. I was born to a German Caucasian drug addict mother and a African American Schizophrenic Vietnam War Vetran Father. I lived with my faithfully Catholic ( pregnant about 20 times; succesfully had 12 kids) grandma and Grandpa untill I was three. When I was three I was taken in by my aunt and uncle who I claim as my parents. They pretty much raised me as Catholic other than the fact they had me baptized in my biological fathers United Methodist Church. Anyways they took me to mass every sunday, enrolled me into ccd at age 6, received my first communion, we get a pastor accused of fondling a boy when he, the pastor, was in seminary. So my mom stops going to church keeps me in CCD, and eventually she stops altogether, still goes to mass on Christmas eve, easter, and when her grandkids have first communion. She is basically almost anti-church now. She doesn’t believe in the real presence, she use to yell at me when I wanted to return to church from grade 9. She is anti-clerical, believes the church is a big business looking for money, shuts you up when you want to discuss church, or your faith. And Basically hates the fact that I think God is calling me. Well the situation use to be much worser but has been getting better due to God’s grace. When I was first called I couldn’t get her to consider dropping me off to mass, she only agreed to take me to confirmation class on wed. (which I was confirmed).

So now that I have described my mother, here is my problem. I would like to attend Seminary this fall, but I don’t have any money what-so-ever to get through college. She will only help me out if I go for what she see’s fit, which is nursing. I don’t know anything about what I can do with attending college seminary. What I understand the Archdioces only pays for major seminary. I feel like I am stuck in quick sand (because fall will be getting here very fast). I don’t know what to do.:confused:

Now I am also a quiet guy, kinda of shy, trying to break out of that with God’s grace. I started singing in the choir to step out of my comfort zone. And I heard that you are suppose to speak to your Spiritual Director (my pastor) regularly. Being the quite person I am , I run out of things to ask and talk about fast, my mind goes blank. What Should I discuss, or ask.

I have a very strong desire to Serve God’s church, to love it’s people, to be a pastor, to listen to people.

And to all people discerning/seminarians/priest, I would like to hear your expierences as far as discernment process, and seminary life goes. I am looking for new friends who are in process. I am looking for brothers. I have two, but they are legally and biologically cousins, and I don’t think they view me as a brother. What I really need is a support group, which I don’t receive in this family and at my secular school. Which is hard on someone like me or anybody discerning.

Please pray for me. Thanks with love in Christ Darren.


#2

Just sent you a message....it's fairly lengthy-enjoy :thumbsup:


#3

[quote="DarrenOglesby, post:1, topic:226129"]
Hello my name is Darren, I am 18 and a senior in High School. And I have been discerning a call to the priesthood since Febuary 2009. I remember the night well that I received God's call. Well I will begin by stating were I am coming from. I was born to a German Caucasian drug addict mother and a African American Schizophrenic Vietnam War Vetran Father. I lived with my faithfully Catholic ( pregnant about 20 times; succesfully had 12 kids) grandma and Grandpa untill I was three. When I was three I was taken in by my aunt and uncle who I claim as my parents. They pretty much raised me as Catholic other than the fact they had me baptized in my biological fathers United Methodist Church. Anyways they took me to mass every sunday, enrolled me into ccd at age 6, received my first communion, we get a pastor accused of fondling a boy when he, the pastor, was in seminary. So my mom stops going to church keeps me in CCD, and eventually she stops altogether, still goes to mass on Christmas eve, easter, and when her grandkids have first communion. She is basically almost anti-church now. She doesn't believe in the real presence, she use to yell at me when I wanted to return to church from grade 9. She is anti-clerical, believes the church is a big business looking for money, shuts you up when you want to discuss church, or your faith. And Basically hates the fact that I think God is calling me. Well the situation use to be much worser but has been getting better due to God's grace. When I was first called I couldn't get her to consider dropping me off to mass, she only agreed to take me to confirmation class on wed. (which I was confirmed).

So now that I have described my mother, here is my problem. I would like to attend Seminary this fall, but I don't have any money what-so-ever to get through college. She will only help me out if I go for what she see's fit, which is nursing. I don't know anything about what I can do with attending college seminary. What I understand the Archdioces only pays for major seminary. I feel like I am stuck in quick sand (because fall will be getting here very fast). I don't know what to do.:confused:

Now I am also a quiet guy, kinda of shy, trying to break out of that with God's grace. I started singing in the choir to step out of my comfort zone. And I heard that you are suppose to speak to your Spiritual Director (my pastor) regularly. Being the quite person I am , I run out of things to ask and talk about fast, my mind goes blank. What Should I discuss, or ask.

I have a very strong desire to Serve God's church, to love it's people, to be a pastor, to listen to people.

And to all people discerning/seminarians/priest, I would like to hear your expierences as far as discernment process, and seminary life goes. I am looking for new friends who are in process. I am looking for brothers. I have two, but they are legally and biologically cousins, and I don't think they view me as a brother. What I really need is a support group, which I don't receive in this family and at my secular school. Which is hard on someone like me or anybody discerning.

Please pray for me. Thanks with love in Christ Darren.

[/quote]

"May The Lord bless you and keep you.

May the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you.

May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace"
And may your call to the priesthood come to fruition Darren.
Amen!


#4

I seem to recall a story that Father John Corapi related in his conversion testimony if I'm not mistaken (the long version) that he too wanted to go to seminary but there was no way he could afford it. Had the idea, which was perhaps of divine inspiration, to say something resembling "Jesus and Mary, I trust in you" 1000 times daily for 33 days. Thirty third day was a Feast of Mary in August and he got a call from a former fellow student who wrote a check for the amount needed. If it's in God's will, he's got many ways of coming through. I wish you success in this.


#5

I will pray that God’s will be done. May He bless you abundantly.


#6

Dear friend,You have had a hard time,but God has been with You all the time,and He will always be with You. Talk to Your priest,I am confident a solution will be found. I also pray for You son,God bless You.


#7

Will keep you in daily prayer, Darren. I am female and I hope and will pray you will find amongst CAF members all the support and encouragement you need. You are young still and just now there might seem a mountain in your path but don't give up - may your seeking of God's Will be ever enlightened and strengthened and the path opened to you as you journey.
TS


#8

[quote="Robertanthony, post:4, topic:226129"]
I seem to recall a story that Father John Corapi related in his conversion testimony if I'm not mistaken (the long version) that he too wanted to go to seminary but there was no way he could afford it. Had the idea, which was perhaps of divine inspiration, to say something resembling "Jesus and Mary, I trust in you" 1000 times daily for 33 days. Thirty third day was a Feast of Mary in August and he got a call from a former fellow student who wrote a check for the amount needed. If it's in God's will, he's got many ways of coming through. I wish you success in this.

[/quote]

C.M.B.
The prayer is "Immaculate Heart of Mary I place my trust in you"
My friend and I prayed this prayer for our vocations and believe me it works!!! The Blessed Mother spoke very clearly to me about my vocation when I was finished with it.
I would highly encourage you to pray that prayer counted on Rosary beads. It really does help!
You are in my prayers!

JMJDTF+
~Betsy

Totus tuus Maria! Let's see what the good God wills


#9

Thank you all so very much, I have definatley felt God's presence with me today. Hopefully with the help of our Mother Mary I will succeed. Thank you all so much for the prayers.

I have another question, what kind of things should I talk about with my spiritual director, I am one of those guys whose mind goes blank when I try to find topics.

Thanks and God Bless, Darren M. Oglesby


#10

I believe there are Dioceses that pay for all of seminary. Check out the Diocese of Ft. Worth.

Thank you for listening for God's call. I will be praying for you. Just know that if God is calling you, He will help you find a way.


#11

Also, check to see if your Diocese has any kind of discernment retreats or monthly meetings. Many Dioceses in our area do.

Try to get a copy of "To Save a Thousand Souls," by Fr. Brett A. Brannen. (A Guide for Discerning a Vocation to Diocesan Priesthood. My son is reading it and finds it really interesting.


#12

[quote="DarrenOglesby, post:1, topic:226129"]

Please pray for me.

[/quote]

Will do! :thumbsup:


#13

God will be with you as He has been since your conception. He will make a way if He wants you in the priesthood. Be patient as Gods time may not be your time.

as for your other question about what to say to a spiritual director: Just what is on your mind, just as you wrote here. Any struggles that you are dealing with, any faith questions you may have, and certainly any temptations you may be dealing with.

I applaud your efforts to step outside your comfort zone to help overcome your shyness. I know how difficult that is, too. We are praying for you, Darren. Keep the faith!


#14

The Lord is all we have.
In Him we trust,
In Him we hope!


#15

[quote="DarrenOglesby, post:9, topic:226129"]
Thank you all so very much, I have definatley felt God's presence with me today. Hopefully with the help of our Mother Mary I will succeed. Thank you all so much for the prayers.

I have another question, what kind of things should I talk about with my spiritual director, I am one of those guys whose mind goes blank when I try to find topics.

Thanks and God Bless, Darren M. Oglesby

[/quote]

Hi again Darren - God is always with us as are all the angels and saints in Heaven, the Souls in Purgatory, (Communion of Saints in The Mystical Body), and whether we can feel this or whether we cannot. To feel God's Presence or that of Mary or any of our saints, angels, is a special Gift from God. Thank Him profusely for it, but don't tell yourself that you must have this Gift and cling to it. Cling to God, Giver of Gifts, and not the Gifts of God. To go on in our journey with God but not feeling His Presence or anyone from Heaven is to exercise and invest in our Baptismal Gift of Faith - it may not be easy, I call it "Dark Faith" (since we cannot feel or see anything), but it is totally and absolutely possible and is probably the most common way and journey for most of us. Grace is always with us. And Grace is the Presence of The Holy Spirit alive and active in us.

Re your director. You can talk about absolutely anything. You could also explain to your director that you find it difficult to find subjects to talk about, or that you don't know what you should or could be talking about, and could he or she help you. This is quite ok. With your director, feel very confident to talk about anything.

God richly bless and sustain you, hold you ever close - TS


#16

Hey Darren! I understand what you are going through. I have a similar problem as you. I'm 17, 18 in two weeks and also have a calling to the religious life.

My mom is a convert and does not believe everything that the Church says. She doesn't want me to make a decision about this until much later. I am going to school in the fall but still feel that calling but I am not sure when to act on it, I don't have a Spiritual Director due to being so busy and shy, I'm afraid to ask but spend lots of time in prayer for guidance.

I remember clearly when I first got the call. I was in kindergarden while at a prayer service for school but I did not feel the calling again until I was a freshman in high school. I feel closely called to the cloistered life, which I know my mom will not take easily. My family is closely knit and my mom has dreams of being a grandma one day but after some time and failed relationships and a reflection over my life, I realized that God has been preparing me everyday for the cloistered religious life.

I understand your confusion and pain. We are in this together, brother. You will be in my prayers. May God bless you with many graces.

Kimberly


#17

Have you been confirmed?

I did not see that in your story. You said you were baptized in the Methodist Church and received First Communion, but I did not see that you were confirmed. You would not be accepted as a candidate by any diocese if you have not been confirmed.


#18

Ignore my last post, I see now that you were confirmed.

As for costs.

I believe you will first have to apply to the diocese to be a candidate so you need to speak with the vocaitons director.

He might be able to give you some ideas about funding. Such as student loans or orginizations that help fund seminarians' education. Or the diocese might have a loan program themselves.

So if you are serious about this you should contact the vocations director for your diocese as soon as possible as the application process can take some time and if you wish to start in the Fall of this year you need to get started now.


#19

Thank's I will be sure to get right on that. I believe I remember my vocation director saying something about that they won't turn anyone down because of cost. So I will be getting right on that asap. I have been saying a novena to St. Therese of Liseuxe, and I feel as though it is helping although I am on the 7th day.
Thank you all so very much.
Darren

[quote="ByzCath, post:18, topic:226129"]
Ignore my last post, I see now that you were confirmed.

As for costs.

I believe you will first have to apply to the diocese to be a candidate so you need to speak with the vocaitons director.

He might be able to give you some ideas about funding. Such as student loans or orginizations that help fund seminarians' education. Or the diocese might have a loan program themselves.

So if you are serious about this you should contact the vocations director for your diocese as soon as possible as the application process can take some time and if you wish to start in the Fall of this year you need to get started now.

[/quote]


#20

I am definitely praying for you and your beautiful vocation. I too am discerning a vocation, well to be a Carmelite nun, I am also very shy when it comes to talking! I'm going to do a retreat soon in the spring and I am not looking forward to talking to the mother because I know I will run out of things to say too. I am praying that god will give you the strength to speak with words of wisdom and I pray that your mother will accept your vocation! God Bless brother! May the lord be with you through your tough times and may he give you the strength to go through with your vocation :)


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