I need alot of help with my feelings for another guy


#1

ok well here goes…I’m 17 a guy and yes a Catholic surprise surprise…
well being a Catholic I was brought up to believe that being gay is a choice…well for the past few weeks I have been having thoughts…
I don’t know what to do…I doo like girls it’s just I have been talking to someone and I think I mate have fallen for him…by the way this other person is a guy my age…and I’m really worried where I’ll end up I didn’t choose to like him it just happened…I need a lot of advice HELP!!!:confused:


#2

whether homosexuality is by nature or nurture, we are all called to be chaste (pure). All sexual activity with oneself, or another is strictly forbidden if you are not married, whether or not its homosexual or heterosexual. Hence, you have nothing to worry about, but continue to pray, and be chaste. Make sense?


#3

Lano, it may be that you admire him immensely and that your emotions have become confused. Feelings are very strong at your age. It’s easy to become obsessed with another person we admire…It might be best if you don’t see too much of him until you settle down.

I’ll keep you in my prayers and Masses


#4

Well…I’ve been looking it up and it scares me because it’s considered a Mortal Sin…and I’ve never actually met him…just thorugh the internet and stuff and so I’ve gotten to know the real him he believes the same thing as me tooand he says he wants a relationship…I think I doo to…it’s just the whole after death thing…I think for some reason Ill be passing rite through Purgatory…:frighten:


#5

If you commit a mortal sin and do not repent of it, you’ll choose to go to Hell. By sinning we choose to reject God. Mortal sin kills the soul, and the soul goes to eternal death: hell.

Homosexual tendencies are not sins, however. They are just crosses gay men and women must bear. You can offer them to Jesus for love of Him and for the conversion of sinners (or whatever intenions are in your heart).

Homosexual acts, on the other hand, are sins - mortal sins at that. They can range from inappropriate touching to loving kissing to sexual intercourse and outercourse. Do not commit them. If you get tempted to do them, meditate on the Passion of Christ and ask the angels and saints - especially Mary - to pray for you.

If you do commit homosexual acts, ask God for forgiveness and go to Confession as soon as you can, and confess what you’ve done. God is always waiting for you there, waiting to forgive you. I further recommend meditating on the parable of the prodigal son.


#6

well being a Catholic I was brought up to believe that being gay is a choice


I’ve never met any homosexual–or heterosexual, for that matter–who chose his/her sexual orientation.

I wouldn’t worry about your attraction for your friend. At your age all sorts of circuits are being turned on and tested–but that doesn’t mean they’ll be used later.


#7

well that’s the thing…I’m confirmed and I have never been to confession because I don’t know when when they offer it due to budget cuts and stuff…and I haven;t been to church in a little over a year…the thing is I have never wanted to “be” with another guy like I do him…and I didn;t choose to like him it just happened…I don’t know I should probably go to confession and see what my priest says…


#8

These links may be helpful:

Homosexuality and Hope
CATHOLIC MEDICAL ASSOCIATION
catholiceducation.org/articles/homosexuality/ho0039.html

Homosexuality: The Untold Story — The phantom gene
SUSAN BRINKMANN
The Catholic Standard & Times
catholiceducation.org/articles/homosexuality/ho0086.html

Interview With Father John Harvey of Courage
zenit.org/article-18393?l=english

I believe you can get in touch with a priest or someone who can help at couragerc.net/

It is a ministry approved by the Vatican.


#9

thanx…I’ve heard of the gay gene before because I’m going to study to be a nurse…they just can’t really treat it…I’ve never worried about dieing before a just the past few weeks now all of a sudden because I discovered I could have a relationship with another guy I’ve become terrified…
oh and about they gay gene…I’ve been wondering about that…wouldn’t that mean that God intended that person to be gay for some reason???


#10

If you read the articles, they say that there is no solid scientific evidence for a “gay gene”. It may be a psychological condition.

Same-sex-attraction could be cause by various environmental factors, such as:

Alienation from the father in early childhood, because the father was perceived as hostile or distant, violent or alcoholic,

Mother was overprotective (boys),

Mother was needy and demanding (boys)

Mother emotionally unavailable (girls)

Parents failed to encourage same-sex identification

Lack of rough and tumble play (boys)

Failure to identify with same/sex peers

Dislike of team sports (boys)

Lack of hand/eye coordination and resultant teasing by peers (boys)

Sexual abuse or rape

Social phobia or extreme shyness

Parental loss through death or divorce

Separation from parent during critical developmental stages.

Plus, you’re a teenager, so you could just be a little confused as you are maturing. I don’t think you should try anything with your friend.


#11

none of those things have happened to me my parents have been married for 27 years…the only thing that mite have messed me up is when my brother got into a horrible car accident 12 years ago days after my sister was born and he is messed up for life now…I’ve always known what I want and what I want to do it’s just the past few weeks have changed my life completely


#12

It could also be self-esteem issues, I think, or failure to identify with same-sex peers. As with any psychological condition, it really depends.

I encourage you to contact someone at couragerc.net/


#13

I think you should talk to your priest. I can remember when I was your age (Many years ago). I know about hormones out of control and can imagine the possibility of getting confused on line with someone that may seem attractive.
I don’t think you are really as attracted as you think you are. I would cut off internet contact and focus on a chaste lifestyle…yeah I know…just try it anyway.
I just am worried that you may be flirting with a lifestyle that will cause you grief in the future. Call the rectory and set up an appointment with the priest…That is their job and what they are there for. I will pray for you.


#14

I’ve actually never been more happy than I am now…and well I have guy friends it’s just that I go to a Technical high school and my shop is predominantly a girls shop…but I like girls it’s just this one guy like I don’t know her gets me and everything…my friends that I told said they’ll support me no matter what I do


#15

You’re probably overidentifying with females since you are around them a lot. There’s probably something about this guy that you admire or want to imitate.

There’s nothing wrong with having a close male friend. I don’t see why you have to make it romantic.


#16

I’ve never felt this way towards another guy…the last time was with my ex and I actually did love her…
well I have to go now because it’s well past 2 in the morning but you can leave you’re help and I’ll read it later…today actually ahaha…I really appreciate itt


#17

If you never actually met him how do you know him?

Feelings are not fact. We often** feel** like doing something wrong but, fact is we know it’s wrong so don’t do it. Maybe it’s time to cool things and give yourself time to reflect.


#18

through the internet and no I’m not being stupid know he is real because I’ve talked with him on cam and on the phone…
my best friend is a guy so I know the difference between the way I feel for my best friend and this other guy…I didn’t choose to like him it just happened I used to think that being gay was a choice…but now not so much…


#19

It is not being gay that is a choice. It is choosing to participate in homosexual sex activity or pursue same-sex lust that is a choice. Almost no one will hold you down at gunpoint and force you to pursue same-sex lust. St. Maria Goretti is a saint who at the age of 11 was pursued sexually by an older male teen - around 18 I think. She knew that this sex would lead her to Hell, so she told him no. He stabbed her to death with knives. Later she appeared to him surrounded by lilies (for purity) and told him that she forgave him. He converted, repented, spent thirty years in prison, and lived the rest of his life in chastity, taking up residence in a Capuchin monastery as a tertiary. mariagoretti.org/

This paper might be helpful reading.
Judaism’s Sexual Revolution: Why Judaism Rejected Homosexuality acpeds.org/?CONTEXT=art&cat=22&art=50

May Christ, Mary, and Joseph bless and keep you, protect you, strengthen you, shape you, love you, heal you, guide you (and myself)!! May the will of Christ, Mary, and Joseph be fulfilled in our lives!! May this situation be submitted to the will of God!!


#20

Hey mate,
I’m 17. I’m a guy. I’m Catholic. I like girls, A LOT. I have never been attracted to another guy but I ADMIRE certain aspects about some of my friends. I may think that they are handsome or athletic or interesting or what have you. Thats normal. I don’t get whether or not you are sexually attracted to the bloke or not? Thats a whole different issue. Do ya have a girlfriend? Have ya ever slept with a girl? Perhaps you just feel uncomfortable around girls so ya are attracted to this guy? :shrug:

Pax


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