I need clarification on marrying a baptised non-Catholic


The title pretty much says it all. My fiancee is baptized, but not confirmed. She comes with me to church on occasion. I’ve read around on the forums a little but am still confused on what happens/if I’m allowed to marry her in a church. My mother seems convinced that my fiancee needs to be confirmed but from what I’ve read on here, it doesn’t appear so.

Also, to be “married in the eyes of God,” do we need to be married in a church, or can we be married outdoors?

Thank you!


If you are discerning marriage, then you need to speak to a priest; he will be in the best position to advise you. If your fiancé is not Catholic, then she does not need to be confirmed. Yes, the wedding does have to take place in a Catholic church, but you can go wherever and do whatever you like for the reception.


Talk to your pastor. Since your fiancee is not Catholic she can’t be confirmed. And while she could become Catholic, it is not required in order for you to get married.

The Catholic form of marriage requires that it be witnessed by a priest or deacon or that you obtain permission for some other form.

In any case, your pastor will be able to help you with the details and with preparing for your marriage.


Is she baptized in another Christian denomination? She would not be able to be confirmed in the Catholic Church. You need to discuss this with your priest, your mother’s info is not correct. If you want your marriage to be recognized by the Catholic church then you will need to be married by a priest, you would need to promise the Church that you are going to raise any children Catholic and your fiancé would need to be aware of that. It is not a matter of being married in the “eyes of God” but as a Catholic in the “eyes of the Church”. I think there are a lot of issues here that have not been discussed about your obligations as a Catholic who is marrying a non Catholic.


Back in 1970 my wife married a baptized non-Catholic – me :smiley: There were no problems.


Your fiance was baptized in a church other than the Catholic church, correct? She does not need to be confirmed in order for you to be married. You will need to marry her in the Catholic Church or receive a dispensation to marry her in another appropriate place (usually another church or place of worship).


My concern is that you are not looking at it from your standpoint, not your mom’s. You are Catholic, I assume you would like a Catholic marriage or you would not be asking here on this forum, so obviously there is an issue.

No she does not HAVE TO BE confirmed but it sure would be a good thing. I dated a Catholic guy when I was a lukewarm, unconfirmed Catholic. I thought that if he asked me to marry him I did not want to be told by my husband how to be a better Catholic so I went to RCIA and got confirmed in my thirties. I have since met many men and women at RCIA who attend for similar reasons.

We never married (for other reasons) but I’m so glad I was confirmed. I might be wrong here but I notice that when the men aren’t very devout but the women are, there is a fighting chance at a good marriage, but when the women are not practicing but the men are, it can get a bit hay wired, especially with kids. I’m sure there are exceptions to that rule.

Anyway, what do you believe? How do YOU see marriage and family? What are you looking for? What is she looking for? Where do you agree AND disagree?

The pre-Cana counseling and the written question and answer sheets are helpful for looking at the realities of married life with anyone. The “quiz” does not have correct answers, it just opens up the good questions of getting along with someone you love.

Be bold and truthful about yourself. Be respectful of her faith life. Don’t force, just learn about her relationship with God. Don’t rush marriage; just learn about each other–how you think and behave. Be open to her or you saying, Sorry, it’s just not working out. Be open to the marriage working but she might mature in her faith differently. Be open to her loving you and wanting to share the faith with you. Good luck.


According to the title of the thread, the fiancee is a non-Catholic. In order to be confirmed, she would first have to be received into the Catholic Church, and that’s a whole separate discussion.


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