We have been told that it would be very risky, potentially life-threatening if I were to conceive again. We have been told this by multiple doctors. This is a huge cross for me, because I would love to have more children. I’m only saying this because under normal circumstances, we would be open to conception. In fact, if things were normal, I would want a lot of kids.
I had a baby five months ago who was a preemie, and since that time we have abstained because there is not an NFP method we can currently use. My cycles are not back to normal due to breastfeeding. The Sypto-Thermal method is the NFP method that we are familiar with, but it relies on you to take your temp the same time each morning. Right now this is impossible due to the baby’s sleep/wake cycles and also due to my spiking blood pressure issues during the night (I had preeclampsia and I’m still dealing with the hypertension). Also, it relies on you to have your period so you can tell what phase of fertility you are in. We tried finding classes to learn the Creighton Method and Marquette Method. There is nothing available in or even around our area. Anyway, our issue isn’t with NFP. Contraception isn’t an option. I just wanted to give you a bit of our backstory.
Without going into too much detail, there have been a couple times within the last five months where we have given in to temptation and was “contraceptive” without neccessarily using contraception. When it happened, it was never a planned thing, but it happened. We know we had sinned, felt immediately repentant afterward and made every effort to go to confession at the next available opportunity. It pains me to think that we’re continually falling into mortal sin. Is this mortal? If something were to happen to one of us, I don’t want us to be sent to hell.
Please no lectures because it’s hard enough to share something this personal with complete strangers. If anything, please pray for me and my husband. I’m grateful for a healthy child, but I struggle with the fact that I can’t have more. Children are such a blessing! However, God is good ALL of the time, and ultimately I want what He wants, even though I’m struggling right now.