Hi Marie, I have come to the conclusion that some people create their own negativity.
They see life in a negative way and that is there personality.
My advise for you is when your sister gets you upset.....ask" God to send her love because you can't at that moment".
Another thing you can do is bless yourself with holy water and say a prayer for you to stay positive with your sister. You can even go to her bedroom and bless her room and bed with holy water and pray that she becomes a peaceful, happy person.
YOU CAN'T CHANGER HER! But you can pray for her and hope for the best even if she enjoys staying negative.
I have a mother and a sister who love to be mean to me with words. But I always tell them I love them and I do love them eventhough they are mean and critical of me.
It is always best not to argue with her because you can't win. It is best just to stay quiet.
Your sister doesn't see what you see in how to deal with life in a positive manner.
My sister is always getting getting herself in trouble with handling her money situation and then she expects others to help her out financially. She may always be that way because she choses to be that way.
My sister does distorted thinking. For example: I lend her some money and when she had money she asked me if I could wait until the first of the month to get my money back because she said she was on a budget and had already spent the money she had for the month. She now has tons of money in her bank account and I just said, "NO", I need my money. She paid me the money and then took some money out to go on a trip to a Casino. She broke her budget plans.
I have another friend who is super sensitive and doesn't see things the way I do. I am not perfect and I do have some major flaws in my personality. So... I am not throwing stones at her. When my friend points out my personality flaws I just stay quiet. I just say, "okay".
Or, I say...."What did I say that was wrong?" Then she tells me a lot of stupid stuff that is not true. I just say, "Ohhh"..... and I change the subject.
I know it is hard to live with your sister.... but you can't change her. Try to stay away from her as much as you can. When you need to drive her to church and she starts critizing you...... just tell her....."I don't want to hear that". Say it over and over like a broken record.
With sisters you can be very clear on how you see things.
But with friends... it is best just to try to keep the peace and back off and drop them as friends.
SISTERS ARE FOREVER! If your sister's personality is too toxic for you.... then you need to have a serious talk with her at a later time when both of you are calm.
Plus, stay away from her as much as possible and keep your conversations short with eachother before she starts to really get mean with you. I know she hurts your feelings.