I need help. PLEASE


#1

I don’t know where to put this. My sins of my past and some that are coming up are so grave and so vile I don’t know what to do and I don’t know where to turn. I don’t know where to post this. I think I should ask privately for advice but I know not a single person here personally. I guess that makes it better so people cannot judge me face to face only over the internet. This is the worst thing a person can do and probably unheard of even by priests and I just don’t know please…
help if you think you can handle something gravely disordered. :(:frowning:


#2

Hi Freckledizzy,

First I want to say you are on the right track. When we are feeling low it is very hard to reach out. And as much as everyone says 'talk to your priest' that only works in theory. In practice, yes some priest are the worst to talk to.

My recommendations

1-) Pray to God to put the right people in your path
2-) Pray you will recognize these people and know when the person is genuine (so you don't trust the wrong person which can do a LOT of damage)

How do you know you are trusting the wrong person? Easy, they pressure you to reveal your secrets before you are ready and guilt trip you when you don't open up. A safe person will respect your time. A safe person will even encourage you to talk to someone else if you feel the other person is more trustworthy. Safe people NEVER feel offended when you say 'This is not something I can trust you with'

3-) If you are not comfortable going to confession, pray to God in your heart 'Lord I am sorry, please help me find a good priest I can trust'. And then wait until God does give you that person

4-) One thing at a time, you don't have to do this all at once

Believe me, as much as humans may have never heard of these sins, God already knows about them and love you nonetheless. God is just waiting anxiously for you to come back.

God Bless


#3

[quote="freckledlizzy, post:1, topic:230515"]
I don't know where to put this. My sins of my past and some that are coming up are so grave and so vile I don't know what to do and I don't know where to turn. I don't know where to post this. I think I should ask privately for advice but I know not a single person here personally. I guess that makes it better so people cannot judge me face to face only over the internet. This is the worst thing a person can do and probably unheard of even by priests and I just don't know please......
help if you think you can handle something gravely disordered. :(:(

[/quote]

My suggestion is to do a reflection, pray the rosary, and give your entire trust to Jesus and His divine providence and mercy and love. It is Saturday, so I would encourage you to line up for confession, trust that when the priest gives you absolution, you sins are forgiven and trust in the Lord's mercy that He has forgiven you your trespasses....and then go to mass and recieve holy communion.

And ponder the following from John 6: 56:
He who eats My flesh and drinks My blood abides in Me, and I in him.

And here is the prayer of the Anima Christi....

SOUL of Christ, sanctify me.
Body of Christ, save me.
Blood of Christ, inebriate me.
Water from the side of Christ, wash me.
Passion of Christ, strengthen me.
O good Jesus, hear me.
Within Thy wounds, hide me.
Separated from Thee let me never be.
From the malignant enemy, defend me.
At the hour of death, call me.
To come to Thee, bid me,
That I may praise Thee in the company
Of Thy Saints, for all eternity.

Amen.


#4

Freckled,

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way... God sees your pain and regret, and He loves you SO much. Usually when we do things that seem so horrible and messed up, it's because there is something very hurt inside of us. God only wants to take you in His arms and heal you, so that you can feel whole and be able to share God's love with others in a beautiful and healthy way.

My suggesion, beyond Confession, is to spend some time sitting in front of the tabernacle with Jesus. He wants you to come to Him and tell Him how much pain you are in. He will never condemn you; He will begin to give you more graces to heal you.

I am not a wise older person, but I do know what it's like to feel very messed up inside and desperately need help. You may PM me if you like. Regardless, I will be praying for you. You are not alone!:hug1:


#5

[quote="freckledlizzy, post:1, topic:230515"]
This is the worst thing a person can do and probably unheard of even by priests and I just don't know please......

[/quote]

Any seasoned priest has heard them all. And even if it is the first time he has heard this particular sin, well, there's a first time for everything. Just because the priest maybe hasn't encountered this sin before doesn't make the absolution during the sacrament of Reconciliation any less complete.


#6

When I went to my confession my thoughts were not unlike the ones you've voiced here. I'd done so many horrendous things and I doubted that the priest had heard anything like what I was going to be confessing and I was sick about it.

He was nearing eighty and already knew me pretty well, and knew how hard I was being on myself and kept saying "is that all?" in a very nonchalant way as if he'd heard that sin confessed on a daily basis for the last twenty years.

They hear a lot of sins. The line, there's nothing new under the sun, comes to mind.

Oftentimes I think, that when we most don't want to go to confession, we most need to. You will feel so much better once you've gone!

Satan doesn't want you to go. He doesn't want this burden to be lifted from your shoulders. But today's Saturday! You should be able to find a priest (I hope!) who's hearing confessions this afternoon!

Prayers! And if you want to PM me you can!


#7

[quote="freckledlizzy, post:1, topic:230515"]
I don't know where to put this. My sins of my past and some that are coming up are so grave and so vile I don't know what to do and I don't know where to turn. I don't know where to post this. I think I should ask privately for advice but I know not a single person here personally. I guess that makes it better so people cannot judge me face to face only over the internet. This is the worst thing a person can do and probably unheard of even by priests and I just don't know please......
help if you think you can handle something gravely disordered. :(:(

[/quote]

God loves you. He has forgiven much worse sinners than you. Believe it.

No matter what anyone says, the first thing you need to do is go to confession. If you don't go face-to-face, you can concentrate on the forgiveness that is being dispensed, not on looking to see if the priest looks horrified or not. (He won't; as others have said, priests hear it ALL, but still it is better to avoid the distraction.) Do not wait for confession under any circumstances.

After that, no matter how you feel, your sins have been forgiven. Now you need to work on the healing process, and for that everyone's advice is great: spend time in adoration of the Eucharist, pray sincerely (the Rosary is a good choice, but also just talking to God about how you feel and asking Him what to do next).

I'm sure we will all pray for you.

God bless you!

--Jen


#8

My suggestion is to read through the forums, pick out a few people who seem like they are people you would feel comfortable talking to, and send them a private message. That's what I did/do and it really helps. Or, you can keep posting here--it is anonymous after all. But that's not nearly as safe because you get some off-the-wall posters at times. I don't know if I can help or not, but you are welcome to send me a private message if you want.


#9

I am sure this is something nobody wants to hear about. This one sin is hard to explain why it could come back to haunt me because it deals with a family member who I talk to and I don't feel right not talking to.. However this person encourages me to sin in this nature..

If I am unable to tell someone then I don't know what to do about said family member and our contact. I can't give it up he/she will be totally heart broken and upset but at the same time I can't go on....like this.


#10

[quote="freckledlizzy, post:9, topic:230515"]
I am sure this is something nobody wants to hear about. This one sin is hard to explain why it could come back to haunt me because it deals with a family member who I talk to and I don't feel right not talking to.. However this person encourages me to sin in this nature..

If I am unable to tell someone then I don't know what to do about said family member and our contact. I can't give it up he/she will be totally heart broken and upset but at the same time I can't go on....like this.

[/quote]

Pick whether or not a male or female would be better to talk with about the sin. I like the idea of choosing someone based on their posts.

Type out exactly what the sin is and how it relates to your family member. Then why you feel you need to stay in contact with the family member. You might not even need to send the PM. Sometimes just putting something in writing helps.

Once you write it up, you might want to print it and take it to confession with you. I schedule confession with the priest for my bigger problems.

Ask for God to give you the grace to fight the sin and to help you deal with the family member.

Eucharist adoration, confession, Eucharist and rosary.


#11

[quote="freckledlizzy, post:9, topic:230515"]
I am sure this is something nobody wants to hear about. This one sin is hard to explain why it could come back to haunt me because it deals with a family member who I talk to and I don't feel right not talking to.. However this person encourages me to sin in this nature..

If I am unable to tell someone then I don't know what to do about said family member and our contact. I can't give it up he/she will be totally heart broken and upset but at the same time I can't go on....like this.

[/quote]

ok, I want to be gentle and loving however..... you have to understand from what you just posted, I am now thinking you are under 18 and being abused by a family member. If that is the case, don't keep the silence. Call the police ASAP.

If I am off base than go back to my original post

CM


#12

I think that you should go to confession perhaps in another parish....and trust God. As far as talking to another person a few things to consider....if you have or are still doing things that are illeagal or seriously harmed another person are you willing to accept full responsibility for those things? If say you were wanted by the police or abused a child or killed someone you need to be willing to accept the consequences and not burden someone with that kind of secret.
I have been a sober member of AA since 1994 and have heard lots of stuff I always panic when people want to tell me thier deepest darkest secret fearing it will be something I cant handle like where they keep the bodies....but have yet been frightened off by someone. Usually the things people are most mortified by are not as shocking as they think they are.TRUST GOD.


#13

[quote="cmscms, post:11, topic:230515"]
ok, I want to be gentle and loving however..... you have to understand from what you just posted, I am now thinking you are under 18 and being abused by a family member. If that is the case, don't keep the silence. Call the police ASAP.

If I am off base than go back to my original post

CM

[/quote]

That went right over my head. If she is right, do get help. It is not your fault.


#14

[quote="cmscms, post:11, topic:230515"]
ok, I want to be gentle and loving however..... you have to understand from what you just posted, I am now thinking you are under 18 and being abused by a family member. If that is the case, don't keep the silence. Call the police ASAP.

If I am off base than go back to my original post

CM

[/quote]

Ditto if this is the case. I missed your last post before I answerd


#15

ok, I want to be gentle and loving however..... you have to understand from what you just posted, I am now thinking you are under 18 and being abused by a family member. If that is the case, don't keep the silence. Call the police ASAP.

That's what I thought at first, too, but according to a post in a different thread, she is married with two sons, although she may still be pretty young because she's a college student.

Freckled, if there is some sort of abuse going on, please do reach out and tell someone.


#16

[quote="kristleful, post:15, topic:230515"]
That's what I thought at first, too, but according to a post in a different thread, she is married with two sons, although she may still be pretty young because she's a college student.

Freckled, if there is some sort of abuse going on, please do reach out and tell someone.

[/quote]

If that is the case, now I think one of her kids is being abused and she does not know where to turn.

Please Freckle Dizzy, reach out for help. And PLEASE don't let my post scare you from posting here again. Although we don't know you personally (or each other personally for that matter) we DO CARE as brothers and sisters in Christ. I feel quite comfortable making that statement for others.

CM


#17

I know you cant imagine any good outcome right now but I have seen tragedies turn into blessings but you have to have faith and get help. I still think you should start with a priest and when he doesnt run away screaming, get any further help you might need. I think when you are in a bad situation you think its the worst in the world, and to you it might be.....but if you did not feel bad about it you would never do anything different or change the situation. I will pray for you.


#18

I am an expert on embarrassing sins - for all the wrong reasons. I re-converted to my faith a few years ago, but on my journey back to God I had a sin in my past that totally repulsed me but that I thought I could never ever ever get the courage to bring to confession. I had lots of other sins, many I'm ashamed to say were mortal, but one particular sin for me was horrendous.

I looked for loopholes, ways of saying sorry to God without going to confession, no good. It was like a massive obstacle from progressing any further in my spiritual journey. The more I thought about it the more worried I got, to the point of feeling physically sick. You are making progress here though - you have acknowledged something needs to be cleared from your soul. Well done so far. Now to get the courage to bring it to confession.

I dillied and dallied, prayed an enormous amount, and eventually went to a local Shrine where they have a special confession chapel with priests attending it daily. It was a fair drive from my house so I was pretty sure I wouldn't be known by the priest - and wasn't.

When I did confess the sin the priest said "How wonderful!" I was like "what?" "how wonderful God had given me the grace to make such an honest confession" he said. I mean I know a lot of "good" Catholics out there who wouldn't dream of confessing their mortal sins, let's be honest here.

So my advice: pray lots about this, pray for the right priest to hear your confession. God will answer your well intentioned prayer. Tell the confessor how afraid you are, how you're not sure you have the courage to confess, he may help you along. In the end, and I wouldn't recommend this though, it took me 2 confessions to spell out exactly what my sin was - and I mean literally SPELL. I was too embarrassed to say the word.

The link to the thread below is an account of my journey from fear to blessed relief. You'll see people gave me great advice. PM me if you want, you don't have to tell me the sin if you don't want to but I am sure your sin isn't half as bad anyway as you think it is - or as mine was for that matter.

forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=358379&highlight=too+embarrassed+to+confess


#19

Just to be clear a seasoned priest has with certainty heard all of the following things

Murder
Manslaughter
Frequent and excessive homosexual activity
Any form of premarital sex
Child abuse
Incest
Marital infidelity
Abortion
Prostitution
Fraud
Drug use
Distributing drugs to minors

In fact out of all of those murder/manslaughter is the only thing that occurs in less than 1% of the population so not only has the priest heard it before, but there is a decent chance you know someone who has been involved in it.

Now I don't know if I have covered yours or not, but can you honestly say it is worse than everything I listed? If you google numbers for it, is it really even that uncommon?


#20

Nice post.


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