I need help! Please!

I am a 20-year-old guy. For a long time I have had attraction for other men. I know it is wrong, immoral, an abomination. BUT I CAN’T CONTROL IT! And the worse is that every time I have an intercourse I throw up and get desperately depressed later. I try to control but I can’t. I want to be normal. I need to be normal!

Please I need help. Some please help me with this. I feel like dying. Someone give me a hand. Even online.

Thank you very much!


I know where you’re at, since I have the same attraction. Right now, you’re in a place of addiction. Don’t panic.

Remember: temptation is not wrong. Wanting to do something with a guy is not wrong. Doing it is wrong. But there is hope for you!

I don’t have a ton of time right now, but I will come back later and give more encouragement. God loves you, and this call for help is God’s movement in your life.

More later…


There is actually a site for persons with your struggles couragerc.net/


I am married and straight but am constantly attracted to men other than my husband, sometimes because of a physical connection and sometimes because of an emotional connection. I choose not to act upon them. There will ALWAYS be temptations before you. There will always be moments of weakness and difficult choices to be made. Choose God. If you fail, go to Confession and reconcile yourself back to God. Remember that none of us are perfect. What matters is that you repent of what you do wrong and make a conscious effort to repair the damage.

I will pray for you, Eule. If you need advice on how to live a celibate life, talk to you priest. I am sure that he will have plenty of suggestions.

I have time to say a bit more now.

Personally, I have had an intense and unrelenting attraction to men since I was probably about 11. I grew up at a different time, so there was little opportunity to act on it, aside from an addiction to pornography that developed and has plagued me ever since. I know the self-hatred you’re feeling, the longing to be normal, the longing to be open and the terror of being fully known. I know how deeply you hide, and how much you long to break it all open into the light.

Don’t buy into shame. Shame is the devil’s tool. The devil wants you ashamed of everything you are, every sin you’ve committed; the devil wants you in mortal terror of being “found out.”

You cannot fall for that trick. You need to reveal yourself, voluntarily, to people you trust. You need to be prayed with. You need to be intimate with people, emotionally. It is really, really hard; I know from experience. But do it. It is the path to healing.

People do not get free of addictions alone. Nor with only online help. You need to be daring, my brother! God loves you so much He sent his only son to die for you. His son knew men who had sex with other men, and showed them brotherly love. Do not think you are beyond God’s love. You are lovable.

Be encouraged!

I have already tried to different things to control it. My father - a traditional Baptist - told me he would never help me with such a thing.

I would like just not to fall into temptation and commit the sin when I act like that. I feel like I can’t have control over my own wishes and body. That’s the main reason I get desperate, even trembling and crying someones. Crying with hate over me, not sadness.

There’s nothing wrong with crying. It’s quite obvious that you’re in a lot of pain – and one source of this pain is that, even when you have reached out (with your father), you experienced rejection and loneliness. Feel your pain. Don’t run from it. When you run, you drink waters that do not quench your thirst.

You say you would “just like not to sin”. It’s not that easy, though. If you want to be free of this sin, you have to be completely transformed. You need to become a man of prayer, a man who is emotionally vulnerable to others, a man who does not condemn himself and is not ashamed of his temptations.

This is not about control. If you’re like I was, you have control, in some sense. You just want to sin more than you want to face your problem. Why? Because facing your problem involves taking tremendous risks. It involves making yourself vulnerable, and perhaps being rejected again. But it’s worth it! Freedom is worth it.

Feel free to private message me, if you want to vent about this. Blessings on your head!

That’s such a nice message. I really think you are right. Maybe I’m trying to run away from my sins and not dealing with them. I guess I’ve got to take some more actions. Need to philosophize now…

Thanks again…

Maybe if you could see just how precious your life is, it would help. I recently got a lesson in that. On the first of the month I had what appeared to be a seizure. When I got to the hospital, I found out that wasn’t the case. My blood pressure had dropped way down, and my kidney’s were starting to fail. The diagnosis? Atypical Pnemonia with sepsis. (Sorry about any spelling errors!!) Anyway, the doctor said that it was a good thing I got there when I did. Actually, I get there by ambulance. I had my “seizure” in a public place so that there were other people around who stopped what they were doing in order to help me. I’ll be forever grateful for that.

I believe you can make it through this. Try to focus on the blessings in life. Go out and find the flowers and all that. Take time to just see what’s around you. There’s beauty in God’s world. We’ve just covered up parts of it.

I want to have strength enough to find beauty everywhere, at anytime. I would love to have friends to help me but this is such a difficult thing as normally I am a lone person. But I really try to think positive. But sometimes I fail - and what a fail…

Thanks anyways…
And I pray to God for each one of you writing here! :slight_smile:

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