I’m new here, my name is Jason. I searched on google for some type of religious help, I guess and I got linked here. Let me give you a background of myself so you understand where I’m coming from.
I’m 16 years old and I come from a middle class background I guess you could say. Basically, where I need help is in the racism department. When I was 13, my brother was beaten badly by four African-Americans at the California State Fair. He suffered a broken jaw and had two of his vertebrae shattered by a broken bottle of Old English. He did nothing wrong and I believe he was in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong skin color. I have never forgiven the African-American community for what they did that night. Even today, every single time I see a black person the bus next to me or at school, I consistently feel an immense amount of hatred towards that person. I have to basically refrain myself from saying “Edited.” I know this is bad language and I shouldn’t use it but I feel the pressure of my past has grabbed a hold of my mind like Edited. Outbursts such as these have consistently gotten me in trouble and I truly regret it. (School suspensions, fights, etc) I know it’s terribly wrong for me to say the things I say and believe in what I believe but the power of hatred is too strong for me right now. I really need any prayers I can get and I would appreciate some advice.