I need some advice on this


#1

I am 23 and I don’t live with my parents.

When I was younger(early teens), and still living with my parents, they got me braces.:bigyikes: I guess that this was to make my teeth straighter. I am grateful that my parents loved me, and wanted to do something for me, but I disliked getting braces.

Some of the process was extremely painful. At one point, I had this apparatus in my mouth, that had a screw-type thing that needed to be periodically twisted. This was horribly painful.

To this day, I wish that I had spoken up and refused to let myself get braces. That long, painful, inconvenient, time-consuming process was not worth it, just to get my teeth straight. I could eat fine before I got the braces, the only reason to get braces was for cosmetic purposes. I won’t even let my picture be taken to be displayed on the wall of the orthodontist’s office, because I regeret getting braces.

If I ever have children, I will not make them get braces.

After my teeth were sufficiently straight, I was fitted with a retainer. I basically have to wear it at night.

So here is what I need advice on:

I want to throw away my retainer. I know that I went through all this process, but I feel chained to this retainer(I haven’t worn it in about a week, since I am thinking of throwing it away.).

I don’t care if my teeth get crooked, I didn’t truly “need” braces in the first place.

Should I throw away the retainer? I don’t want to wear it for the rest of my life.

Should I ask the orthodontist’s office to refund the money that my parents paid, since I so dislike braces?

Should I tell my parents? Like I said above, I know that they loved me, and am grateful that they were thinking about me, but again, I think that braces were unnecessary.

Any insights?


#2

Your ortho does not owe you a refund just because you hated braces! You have a handsomer profile thanks to your suffering and your parent’s sacrifice. Be grateful for your smile, and if you toss the retainer, expect your teeth to shift somewhat.


#3

I was in a similar situation, only my retainer was made when I was about 13 or 14. You can just throw it out. At age 23, you are probably done growing, so no major harm could come of not wearing it. I threw mine out when I was 16 or 17, but didn’t always wear it before that.

I didn’t really need braces either, and my bottom teeth are crooked— go figure, they wanted braces on the top, but not the bottom, because of an over-crowding issue, but my mom has the same thing and SHE never got braces!

I went through the whole process you are talking about, and after 1yr to 18 mos of the retainer, you are finished, according to the orthodontist I talked to, as well as my aunt, a dental hygienist.

Hope this helps!


#4

if you toss the retainer you will be telling your parents, thanks for spending all that time and money you could have used for yourself on something for my benefit, but I hated it, so I am treating your gift like garbage, and by the way, what does that say about the way I feel about you.


#5

It certainly sounds like you could use some. Insights, I mean. Honestly, you sound like a whiny brat.

Is this intended a serious question? You think the orthodontist wouldn’t laugh at you?


#6

The orthodontist gave professional service for the money, and it sounds like he did a good job. No refund is due to you or your parents; please think this through.

You are still young. When you have children you may change your mind about orthodontics. Your parents are no doubt already aware that you didn’t appreciate the process, and don’t appreciate the result. Based on your post, I bet that there’s already been enough complaining done.

Your parents did what they thought was best for your health and your future. You ultimately don’t know if it was only cosmetic, because teeth continue to grow. Crooked teeth can grow to become a problem with the bite, night grinding, etc. Problem teeth only become more of a problem.

Please show off your smile to everyone you meet. Your parents paid for it, and you earned it with your pain. Please offer it up.


#7

Puzzleannie:

I don’t agree. GoLatin is an adult, supporting himself. He has the right to choose for himself. “Declining a gift” does not equal “treating it like garbage”.

GoLatin:
I suggest talking to the orthdontist. Find out from him whether there is some reason other than cosmetics, for the braces. Find out also whether there is any reason to keep wearing the retainer.

And no, you aren’t entitled to a refund even if you never wanted the braces. The orthodontist is entitled to his payment for services rendered, and it was your parents’ right, at the time, to make this decision on your behalf.


#8

Dear GoLatin,

I went through seven years of braces and many pulled teeth for the benefit of my mouth. After I was finally out of braces, I was given a retainer. When it became apparent that wearing the retainer meant constant pain, I very quickly discarded the retainer. In my case, my teeth have shifted a little bit, but they are far better for having had braces. All’s I can say is, I wouldn’t wish the constant pain of wearing a retainer on anyone … it’s not worth it. I’m far happier without the retainer than if I had sentenced myself to a life of torment by wearing it. Loving parents understand. My parents were not hurt a single bit by my decision to junk my retainer … they respected me and in fact, it was never an issue. Of course, in my case, there’s no medical or dental problem which makes a retainer a must … every case is different. Good luck and God Bless !!!

~~ the phoenix


#9

[quote=the phoenix]All’s I can say is, I wouldn’t wish the constant pain of wearing a retainer on anyone … it’s not worth it. I’m far happier without the retainer than if I had sentenced myself to a life of torment by wearing it.
[/quote]

I don’t know what your orthodontist told you, but I have never heard of anyone having to wear a retainer for life. You wear it for a while, and then you stop.


#10

Anyway, you people who whine about wearing a retainer don’t know what you’re missing. My sister actually had to have a metal plate inserted into her upper jaw to keep her teeth from reverting. You can imagine how pleasant THAT surgery was. But she’s fine now, she looks fine, and… she doesn’t complain.


#11

[quote=Pentecost2005]…you people who whine about …
[/quote]

Pentecost,

Don’t you think you could tone it down a notch?!? You don’t always have to come out with both barrels…

God Bless,
RyanL


#12

I think you are a bit ungrateful and self-centered and just a little odd actually.

Parents often do things for the good of their children that the children don’t see as “good” at the time-- hence the requirement to eat all your vegetables, take a nap, clean your room, etc. Orthodontics aren’t always for cosmetic reasons only, or even primarily. As you get older misaligned teeth can have many repercusions. I know adults who never had braces that have gotten them now b/c their teeth give them trouble-- cavities, pain, root canals, etc. Many times orthodontics, pulling extra teeth, and straightening them are prevenative measures to ensure a long life of healthy teeth. Better done as a child than an adult. Your parents did what they thought best for your health and care.

You are an adult now, and can stop wearing your retainer if you choose.


#13

My two cents:
I had braces as a teen and later a retainer. I had a big gap between my front teeth.
I got rid of or lost my retainer, and now, 40 years later, wish I had it. The gap has come back between my teeth. I wish I’d worn it at least occasionally throughout the intervening years. Now, money’s too tight and what I have needs to go to my children’s needs.
Suggest you talk it over with an orthodontist, perhaps another one if you don’t get along with the previous one.


#14

If you don’t want to wear the retainer, I see no problem with that. But if it were me, i wouldn’t throw it away. You can’t know for sure that you won’t change your mind, so think economically and just put it away for now.


#15

Keep the retainer and just don’t wear it unless you want to. You never know when your teeth may shift. Just because you are an adult doesn’t mean your teeth won’t move. I had braces 10 years ago but my front teeth are more crooked now than when I got braces.

I’m sorry for you that you went through this experience even though you didn’t want to. Hopefully some day you’ll appreciate the gift of straight teeth. Many people would love to have straight teeth but can’t afford braces.


#16

I don’t think you understand the importance of straight teeth.
Far from being for cosmetic purposes only, you are protected
from a serious disease called periodontis. This happens to
people who don’t brush their teeth often and to people who have
crooked teeth, which makes it impossible to reach crucial areas
with a toothbrush. My father, all his siblings, and his parents
had to have their teeth removed and get false teeth - this does
run in families. You have something very valuable in your
possession. If you don’t want to wear it, just put it in
occasionally to see if it still fits right. If it’s too tight, you need
to wear it a while. I understand you feel disrespected by not
being able to make this decision on your own, but find some
other less destructive way to be rebellious and don’t be so silly.
You are done with your braces, sit back and enjoy the benefits.
If you hated that your parents always made you drive to the store,
then would you throw away your car when you grew up? Enjoy
the good health of your teeth, you paid for it with your pain.
The million dollar movie star smile is not the purpose, but only
a side effect. Not everyone can afford this level of health for
their teeth. Who would want to throw away their health?


#17

Have you had your wisdome teeth out, or will you need to? If so, I’d keep the retainer until after that surgery, as those teeth coming in WILL shift your teeth around if you havn’t enough room. I had braces for8 years, including the turn-y key thing, rubber bands, etc. yes, it’s painful, but just think of it was something to offer up. I would be suprised if you still needed to keep your retainer at this point, though. Like everyone else said, ask the doc. :slight_smile:


#18

I wish I had the oppurtunity to have braces as a child or teen. Growing up my teeth ware very crooked and I was very self consious. My parents did not have any dental insurance. Now as an adult I often wonder why they did not look into some sort of financial assistance for the dentist. I know this is gross, but I went to the dentist only twice before the age of 18!!! You should be glad that your parents cared. Lucky for me when my wisdom teeth came in, my front teeth were pushed together and back a little. It is not nearly as bad now. Now I go regularly to have my teeth cleaned.

as for throwing away your retainer- My friends who had braces only had to wear it for like a year or something. Wear it for as long as you are told. I know you said you didn’t care if your teeth were crooked, but would you want all those years of pain at the dentist to be worthless???


#19

[quote=sententia]Have you had your wisdome teeth out, or will you need to? If so, I’d keep the retainer until after that surgery, as those teeth coming in WILL shift your teeth around if you havn’t enough room. I had braces for8 years, including the turn-y key thing, rubber bands, etc. yes, it’s painful, but just think of it was something to offer up. I would be suprised if you still needed to keep your retainer at this point, though. Like everyone else said, ask the doc. :slight_smile:
[/quote]

I had my wisdom teeth taken out years ago.


#20

Did anyone see young Willy Wonka (in the Johnny Depp version of this movie) as the son of a dentist? Where young Willy has so much headgear and mouth appliances that he looks pathetic. Was that a crank on the straps at the back of his head? What a hilarious image and what a clever way to explain why Willy becomes a chocolatier.


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