I need some help with this?


#1

Me and my fiancé have been together for 3 in a half years about a year ago he proposed and are planning to get married in September. I recently came clean about a situation that occurd because I knew I could not live a life in sin and go through with a marriage with out being honest with myself first. Before we got engaged we were arguing day in and day out were every afternoon he would break up and leave me. So I spoke to a friend and they suggested seeing other people. I saw someone else in the weeks we were arguing after advising I was getting tiered of the same problems occurring. After telling him numbers times how I felt lonely and upset he would leave I felt I made a big error by sleeping with this other guy. I feel I have ruined our relationship and am sorry. He is willing to give me another chance because we both love each other and feel we will still be happy in the end. We are both willing to work at our relationship now after attending the engaged encounter and now reviewing our PMI review we are willing to fix some of or conflicts. I'm in debate if we should come clean with the priest that will be marring us because we feel in the end he won't marry us? Does anyone have any recommendation on this type of situation or feedback that can help us? We really love each other although we are hurt by what happen and made him a promiss I would never hurt him this way ever again. I am very remorseful for what I've done.


#2

[quote="Yankee24, post:1, topic:204136"]
Me and my fiancé have been together for 3 in a half years about a year ago he proposed and are planning to get married in September. I recently came clean about a situation that occurd because I knew I could not live a life in sin and go through with a marriage with out being honest with myself first. Before we got engaged we were arguing day in and day out were every afternoon he would break up and leave me. So I spoke to a friend and they suggested seeing other people. I saw someone else in the weeks we were arguing after advising I was getting tiered of the same problems occurring. After telling him numbers times how I felt lonely and upset he would leave I felt I made a big error by sleeping with this other guy. I feel I have ruined our relationship and am sorry. He is willing to give me another chance because we both love each other and feel we will still be happy in the end. We are both willing to work at our relationship now after attending the engaged encounter and now reviewing our PMI review we are willing to fix some of or conflicts. I'm in debate if we should come clean with the priest that will be marring us because we feel in the end he won't marry us? Does anyone have any recommendation on this type of situation or feedback that can help us? We really love each other although we are hurt by what happen and made him a promiss I would never hurt him this way ever again. I am very remorseful for what I've done.

[/quote]

You will have to confess this so why don't you discuss it with the priest in the confessional and ask him what you should do.

If your bfriend has the habit of storming off in an argument because it is not going his way, he has a problem which needs to be worked on before you get married. Being threatened with physical or emotional abandonment is cruel.

Do your friends like him? Have they been trying to get you to see others before this incident? Is that relationship you had during the break-up really over ? Do you still have feelings for that person? By feelings I mean are you in love with the other person?

And please consider that there will be times when you don't confess all to your partner. IF a confession to a partner is going to cause your partner undo hurt, It might be better to carry your cross by yourself.


#3

Although he has changed after we went to the engaged encounter weekend I do se a big effort on his behalf to try and want to fix things.

Everyone thinks he is a great guy but at times when we argue it used to ge to a point where he couldn't stand the rain. I never saw anyone befor this but I felt betrail for him so I felt it was the right thing to do at the time. Although I feel I was very upset I know I did wrong and although I know I committed a sin. I would have preferred for me to come clean with him instead of someone telling him. I no longer associate myself with person for the sake of my fiancé I don't want to disrespect him more then I feel I have. No I am in love with my fiancé and it feels right when I am with him but wrong on my behalf for my actions.


#4

[quote="Yankee24, post:3, topic:204136"]
Although he has changed after we went to the engaged encounter weekend I do se a big effort on his behalf to try and want to fix things.

Everyone thinks he is a great guy but at times when we argue it used to ge to a point where he couldn't stand the rain. I never saw anyone befor this but I felt betrail for him so I felt it was the right thing to do at the time. Although I feel I was very upset I know I did wrong and although I know I committed a sin. I would have preferred for me to come clean with him instead of someone telling him. I no longer associate myself with person for the sake of my fiancé I don't want to disrespect him more then I feel I have. No I am in love with my fiancé and it feels right when I am with him but wrong on my behalf for my actions.

[/quote]

Still need to confess. You did the right thing especially if you thought someone else might tell him. Better to hear it from you. You need to work on forgiving yourself too. :thumbsup:


#5

You weren't married when you were with someone else. Stop beating yourself up..move on, don't do it again..learn from it. you can't turn back the clock..go to confession. don't tell the priest anything(except in confession)....if you two are having problems now, marriage won't erase those problems. unless you can forgive yourself and he can completely forget and forgive, think a lot before getting married...good luck to you:)


#6

[quote="Yankee24, post:1, topic:204136"]
...I'm in debate if we should come clean with the priest that will be marring us because we feel in the end he won't marry us? ....

[/quote]

You need to "come clean" via the Sacrament of Confession. You don't have to go to Confession with the priest who will be performing your marriage ceremony. You can even use the screen in the confessional. (I love the old fashioned screened confessionals!) But even if you do decide to go to Confession face-to-face with the priest who will perform your wedding, it's* extremely unlikely* that he'd deny you the Sacrament of Matrimony because you sinned with another man before you got engaged--especially if he learned that in the Confesssional. Go to Confession.


#7

The only sin that we cannot be forgiven for is the one that we refuse to forgive ourself for. Go to confession. Give yourself a break and you may find that when you love yourself your soon-to-be husband will be able to properly love you.


#8

[quote="joandarc2008, post:7, topic:204136"]
The only sin that we cannot be forgiven for is the one that we refuse to forgive ourself for. Go to confession. Give yourself a break and you may find that when you love yourself your soon-to-be husband will be able to properly love you.

[/quote]

Joandarc-I'd really like to thank you for saying that. It's a reminder that we all need sometimes. Three cheers.


closed #9

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