I Need Some Honest Opinions


#1

Lately, ive been getting closer to god, i just today started reading the bible & just thinking of all the bad things ive done & how thanks to gods forgiveness i feel at peace. I have also been thinking what if i die before my family, im 19 & i have 3 brothers & my parents. I would want them to know ho much i love them after my death incase i died before them, i dont know why ive been thinking of death & me letting my family know how much i love them & wat i want to do is the following :

Write each of them a letter telling how much i love them, how much they mean to me & how much they have changed my life. but i also dont want to scare them or make them think im going to die or something, that i dont know only god knows.

What do you guys think i should do write the letters & hand them & let them know they are only allowed to read that letter if i die before them? Or just not say anything, & show them my love by my actions, & words.


#2

Get a small, fire-proof safe. You should have one anyway for the important documents that you accumulate in life such as birth certificate, diplomas, car title, cash, etc. You can get a used one from Craigslist for very little.

Since you are the only one who will ever know what is in your safe, you can put all the "in the event of my death" folders in there you want. It will mean a lot to your family if they someday find you had taken the time to carefully write a personal note to each of them many years ago. However, don't wait until you go toe-up to tell them you love them. They may die before you, and then it will be too late. Tell them casually, tell them often, and show them with acts of kindness without getting all melodramatic. That's what families do to each other, and that's how they know they are family.


#3

[quote="jazz91, post:1, topic:249412"]
Lately, ive been getting closer to god, i just today started reading the bible & just thinking of all the bad things ive done & how thanks to gods forgiveness i feel at peace. I have also been thinking what if i die before my family, im 19 & i have 3 brothers & my parents. I would want them to know ho much i love them after my death incase i died before them, i dont know why ive been thinking of death & me letting my family know how much i love them & wat i want to do is the following :

Write each of them a letter telling how much i love them, how much they mean to me & how much they have changed my life. but i also dont want to scare them or make them think im going to die or something, that i dont know only god knows.

What do you guys think i should do write the letters & hand them & let them know they are only allowed to read that letter if i die before them? Or just not say anything, & show them my love by my actions, & words.

[/quote]

Dear,
Just leave thoughts about such things. You are called to serve the lord. Always just think of this verse in mind. I believe this verse is the best for you at the moment. " For to me life is Christ, and death is gain ". Yes Phili 1:21, reminds us that death is gain and believe that we will be in eternity after death. But right now we have much to do. Or YOU have much to do. Bring all your dear and near ones in faith. Let them experience the same which you now feel about God. Let them understand the bible. That is your job now. Bring many to Christ. Not just your family. Read Saints Vision of hell and purgatory. U can read in my website as well. You will understand the need to pray and intercede for others. Not just our family but for the whole world. YES THE WHOLE WORLD. You can make a difference to many peoples life. Awake and spread the good news....Brother in Christ Milton.


#4

[quote="jazz91, post:1, topic:249412"]
Lately, ive been getting closer to god, i just today started reading the bible & just thinking of all the bad things ive done & how thanks to gods forgiveness i feel at peace.

Whatever you have done and the priest has heard everything, go to confession and be at peace with your God. I wouldn't write the letters because it will be taxing after attending the funeral.

Please go to confession before something could happen.

God bless

[/quote]


#5

Write the letters and then put them in a safe place with instructions that they be delivered in event of your death.

More importantly, take what you are learning of your faith and put it into practice. Show your Love for them in each thing you say and do. This doesn't have to be in any big "gushy" sort of way, but in the smallest and most simple ways.

Be there when someone needs help.
Give a shoulder to cry on.
Volunteer to do this or that little task like cleaning up after supper, helping wash the car, folding laundry etc....
And do it all for the Love of God and in thanksgiving for the tremendous blessings he has given you in your family.

Peace
James


#6

Write the letters now! There is no time like the present to let the ones you love know that you love them, why wait for death? You don't need to put in the letter that you are afraid of death, just compose a short note mentioning your love.

I will share a personal experience I had a while ago. Like you, it was bothering me that my family might not know how much I cared about them. I took the time to write each family member a letter. I was committed to not only tell them I loved them, but to give details about why I admired each one of them. I thought it important to not just be sentimental or mushy and say "I love you" but to give specific details (ex: I admire your courage or I admire your honesty) I found some quiet time and prayed specificially for each family member before I wrote the note. It took a lot of introspection for me and I examined my relationship with each person. I was surprised how much I gained from the experience I had never before spent that much time positively focused on each individual.

Your letters could begin..."In our busy lives we don't often take the time to really express our love for each other, I wanted to make sure you knew how much I cared so here is a letter." Depending on the ages of your siblings if they are younger you might have to keep it simple. I do not know a parent alive on this planet that would not love receiving a note like that from their 19 year old child!!!

Did the letters I wrote my family members change our relationships? Well, not really. They were happy to receive them of course but we are human beings and went back to old patterns quickly. However I must say the experience for me was profound. I recommend focusing quiet prayer time on loved ones trying to concentrate on the positive and to see people in our lives through the loving eyes of Christ. It felt wonderful! I highly stress prayer FIRST and asking the Holy Spirit what he wants written in the letter. Hope this helps.


#7

[quote="jazz91, post:1, topic:249412"]
Lately, ive been getting closer to god, i just today started reading the bible & just thinking of all the bad things ive done & how thanks to gods forgiveness i feel at peace. I have also been thinking what if i die before my family, im 19 & i have 3 brothers & my parents. I would want them to know ho much i love them after my death incase i died before them, i dont know why ive been thinking of death & me letting my family know how much i love them & wat i want to do is the following :

Write each of them a letter telling how much i love them, how much they mean to me & how much they have changed my life. but i also dont want to scare them or make them think im going to die or something, that i dont know only god knows.

What do you guys think i should do write the letters & hand them & let them know they are only allowed to read that letter if i die before them? Or just not say anything, & show them my love by my actions, & words.

[/quote]

Love them in the little ordinary things, right now, today. Love them with such refinement they barely sense the effort you're making. They will just naturally feel more serenity and joy being around you.

Pray for them every day. Ask God for an infinite number of days and ways to love them.

No need for private letters like this, if you love them every day. Some might wonder, upon reading such letters, "what bunk...if you loved me why didn't you visit me in the hospital, attend my baseball games, etc."

Lastly, waste no time thinking and dreaming about views and attitudes of love today or when you die, and more time loving today - doing good today, self-donating to others, quietly, with great and increasing generosity.

And think less about what others will think of you when you die, and more time asking God how you can love your friends and family. Think less about yourself, their view of you when you die...and more about what God thinks of you right now.


#8

Show them that you love them with actions.


#9

If writing it in a letter is that important to you, there is no need to wait until death. On their birthdays buy a blank card and write it in there. This is would be much appreciated by a parent. Not sure siblings would see it the same way.

However, and this is where I need to point out a concern. Whenever someone wants to 'write a letter in case I die' It comes accross as someone who is thinking about suicide. I am very concerned and if that is your thoughts, Please see your priest. Find a trusted person or at the very least pray to God for help

CM


#10

[quote="jazz91, post:1, topic:249412"]
What do you guys think i should do write the letters & hand them & let them know they are only allowed to read that letter if i die before them? Or just not say anything, & show them my love by my actions, & words.

[/quote]

What's stopping you from writing the letters and showing your love through your words and actions?

And rather than go all maudlin and write to be unsealed in the event of my untimely demise letters, who don't you handwrite (because there is no more loving way of communicating than with a handwritten note) letters and give them as birthday or anniversary presents?

Whenever my husband travels he writes me a love letter, which I'm keeping and will some day give to our daughters so they'll have further proof their dad is an amazing father and husband. And as a mom I could think of no better gift than a letter written in my daughter's hand letting me know I was loved. And if the letter was given as an anniversary gift... Oh, I'm tearing up just thinking about it.


#11

Thank you all....all your honest opinions have helped me out tremendously & i know that i will make the right decision.

& no this has nothing to do with suicide. that has never, & will never even cross my mind. the life that god has given me is to precious for me to commit something so horrible. sorry if it sounded like that but that was never my idea.

my thought of writing letters to my love ones is because of my closeness with god in this couple of days, & i just thought just incase one day i die before they do i want them to know how much i loved, & cared for them. thats the only reason why, but i have so much to do now that i have read so many opinions that helped me a lot :) :thumbsup:


#12

Christmas seems far away but that is a wonderful time to say you love them, and what they did in the year that’s closing that made you smile, made you feel loved, and how you wish the best for them. Write them now if you like and keep in a drawer so if something did happen, they would be found.
I am excited for you that God is touching your heart, that you are coming nearer to Him who loves you and created you. I bet He has some wonderful plans for your life and some wonderful people in mind for you to meet in the next few years. Following God’s plan in your life is never boring!
Blessings to you.


closed #13

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