I am 34, a father and a husband. I have a loving wife and a 3 year old daughter, but I am suffering with drinking too much. My nightly 6-8 beers or so has taken its toll and I am scared. I have a few hours alone from 4:30-6:30 and I drink before my wife arrives home from work with our daughter. I then after she goes to bed have a few more, and hide that I drank the early ones. I am just so scared and confused how this has happened. I appreciate any advice or personal stories of what helped you. God Bless
Yes I have. If you’re hiding it… then there’s your sign. Only you can diagnose yourself as an alcoholic. Get a copy of the big book of AA and read the first 164 pages. If you see yourself in the descriptions then get to an AA meeting. Pronto.
My best friend struggled with this, she joined AA and has returned back to the amazing person she was before the drinking took over. She now councils new members and she’s incredible… I’m so proud of her journey, her strength and the person she is!
I will pray for you, hope you can get to a meeting tonight!
I have social anxiety and depression, and I don’t think that I could be in an AA meeting. I am in therapy, but it is not working and I am sure my drinking is not helping it.
God bless you with an effective therapist as soon as possible, admitting your issues is a great step.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
You might be surprised. I’m not in AA but I can tell you that there are plenty of people suffering from a variety of mental ailments that show up at similar meetings. They seem to benefit from it.
Just check one out. You might find strength from knowing other people are battling the same problems and you don’t have to share. Just listen.
Failing that, get a copy of Fr. Larry Richards’ book Surrender! I can’t recommend it enough. Our sinful addictions, and abusing alcohol qualifies, are a product of a broken world and in many cases a fear of surrendering our lives fully to God.
I think that makes you an even better candidate for the meetings, my friend has severe depression among a host of other things. If you don’t want to go to a meeting you can always meet one on one with somebody from AA. It’s a great program, you should give it a shot.
I’m right here with you brother!! Fear NOT!!
I have been sober 12+ years now by the grace of God. I was 33 when I quit.
PM me if you want to chat, and I mean that! A lot of stuff that needs to be said does not need to happen on a public forum.
May God bless you and Christs peace be with you.
You are right that drinking is not helping it. I too, have social anxiety and depression. I have been able to get off all but a half dose of my depression meds since getting sober. You will find that just about ALL of us in AA have one or more mental issues that are exacerbated by our alcohol use. I totally understand how hard it is. I still don’t go to a mall… but my AA meetings are my safe place. You don’t have to do this alone.
And as Armour of Light posted… if you need to talk to someone privately, please feel free to PM me as well.
You do need to get help. AA would be good.
Also, take away the 4:30 to 6:30 opportunity. Stay late at work. Go to the mall or walk around downtown. Start walking/jogging/something active.
Everyday I say that I am not going to drink as I wake up and feel terrrible. But, as I sit in my office and it gets closer to 4pm I rationalize it and stop at the package store. I hate feeling terrible and wasting money on booze. I want to work out and get in shape, but I am failing at doing it.
My dad used to drink a lot. But, he gave up on sheer will power when I was about 16 years old (I am 23 now). There is no such thing as AA in India, where I come from. There are rehab centers, but they are none where I live.
My dad gave up because my board exams were coming up and he gave up so that it would not affect my career. So, think about how your drinking today will affect your daughter’s future. Then if you have the necessary will power, you can give it up for good.
Get a copy of the big book of AA and read the first 164 pages. If you see yourself in the descriptions then get to an AA meeting. Pronto.
**Great advice! **
You can be in AA.
Phone and tell them of your fears, anxieties. They will help you.
How to find as meeting: aa.org/lang/en/subpage.cfm?page=28
@desmond congratulations to your dad it must have been tough for him: however, not every one can do that with will power. Which is why there is AA.
Dude, really dude, really??? As if the only people at AA meetings are there for the coffee and smokes afterwards.
My only advice here is that not all AA meetings are the same. Some are terrible others aren’t, and others are very very good, so don’t judge all AA meetings by just a small sample.
Before attending your first meeting, make a committment to attend 3 meetings a week for 8 weeks, regardless of how you feel about the first few. Listen, learn and give yourself the gift of patience.
If you can’t get to a face2face mtg, there are plenty online. So, if you want to try that to get your feet wet.
I’ve found that people in AA, Al Anon, NA, NarAnon - 12 step programs are very welcoming, loving and accepting.
Get the big book and read, read, read.
It works if you work it and YOU’RE worth it!
Praying for you and will place you in the prayer basket at my hour of Adoration tonight in the chapel.
Remember, by the grace of God, there go I …
6 - 8 beers every night is not normal. Hiding your drinking is not normal.
I don’t agree with AA. But you need some help. And if AA is for you, try that. If not, find someone else to help.
You need to own up to it. Tell your wife.
It’s the idle time that gets you in trouble. I understand that well - for me it was more with pornography than drinking. Amazing how when I made a point to sack out before midnight and only drink on weekends, I stopped going to porn sites.
Make the 4:30 to 6:30 your project time to work outside while the weather is nice - mow the lawn (twice, if you have to), plant flowers, do landscaping, patch up paint and siding, clean the deck. wash the driveway - heck, re-asphalt the driveway yourself. Think you’ll have time to drink? Don’t allow yourself the near occasion to sin.
And dump out your beer. All of it. Beer’s cheap. Dumping a fifth of scotch, that’s hard to do, but if I can poor out a $40 bottle of Glenfiddich, you can dump $20 of beer cans.
I’m praying for you.