‘I never wanted to be gay’: Christian musician comes out


Something I thought worth discussing. This musician sent a letter to fans detailing his realization:

“I never wanted to be gay. I was scared of what God would think and what all of these people I loved would think about me,” the 35-year-old singer wrote in a letter to his fans that was first published by Religion News Service on Tuesday. “But if this honesty with myself about who I am, and who I was made by God to be, doesn’t constitute as the peace that passes all understanding, then I don’t know what does. It is like this weight I have been carrying my whole life has been lifted from me, and I have never felt such freedom.”

Full letter is in the link.


His wife and family seem to be very supportive. I wonder how his fans are reacting?
He obviously tried very hard not to be gay and, like so many, …discovered that was impossible.

OP what are your thoughts on this?



It is nice that he had people to support him like you said. It seems like he was given the false idea that you choose to be gay which I imagine made it a huge struggle for him. It really is amazing that he maintained that lack of admission to himself for so long. I am glad he didn’t leave the faith after finally admitting it though I don’t necessarily agree with the steps he is taking completely denying it’s a sin now. On the other hand, he might have new opportunities with God now that that’s finally off his chest since he is no longer living a lie. One must wonder what would happen if he was taught the difference between the orientation and the choice from the beginning.




I have never heard of this singer, but I am glad he was finally honest with his wife as painful as it must have been for her.


… which, of course, does not excuse his acting out on homosexual impulses, nor does it comment on the moral liceity of them.

Let’s be blunt, “I’ve tried not to __________ but I find it impossible” could potentially “excuse” all sorts of behavior even secularists would somehow concede should, at the least, be avoided in a civil society.


I’m not trying to start a debate, but this is not accurate. I personally know at least two individuals who believed they were gay, were very active in the gay lifestyle, and promoted the notion of “born that way.” Once they got out of the lifestyle they quickly found their homosexual desires fading. One of them is now married, the other is dating a young woman.


I wonder how supportive people would be if instead of confessing a long hidden desire to have sex with men, he’d confessed a long hidden desire to have sex with 20 year old strippers.


I don’t think she was saying it was impossible for some, but that many, not all, find that they can’t perge them. It’s not like we were garenteed to be cleaned of all temptation and faults in this life.

Notice when he says:

But if this honesty with myself about who I am, and who I was made by God to be

He doesn’t seem to think that since he is like this, it is ok to be like this. Rather, it sounds like He trusts the Lord will deliver him, even if it isn’t in this life.

Christi pax,



I wonder if he has heard of ‘temptation’ before? we all suffer from ‘temptation’ in many different areas, because we desire something that is sinful, it’s not a ‘sin’ to be tempted, it’s a sin to give into temptation, in which we ask for forgiveness when we fall and strive again on the path of virtue, our desires are not who we are.

Otherwise, it would be like everyone throwing their hand up in the air, acting on their every desire and saying “If God didn’t want me to do this, He wouldn’t have given me the desire to do it.”

I don’t know why this idea seems to be current that if you desire something than it makes it right and ‘who God made us to be’.

He has found that he has same sex attraction and thus says he is gay, okay that’s fine, that doesn’t make ‘sodomy’ no longer a sin though, it doesn’t make ‘same sex marriage’ valid, those things aren’t okay/fine, which is what seems to be implied in todays culture when someone comes out as gay.

I hope this has helped

God Bless

Thank you for reading


His booking of concerts at Gay Pride Festivals would seem to belie this assertion.


Fair enough. I agree. We should pray for him :signofcross:

Christi pax,



Well if he’s going to pursue homosexual relationships now, then he is walking away from God.



God Bless You



I agree with you there.


What an interesting situation to be in. I wonder if things would have gone differently had his faith community encouraged him to be open and honest about his sexuality while still encourage him to live a life of chastity (ala the courage model). I can see why pretending to be something he’s not would be distressing, I’m somewhat surprised he went straight to the closet to playing for gay-pride festivals without trying a more intermediate option. What this tells me is that faith communities, or at least his community, needs to be better about walking that balance between celebrating gay people while also promoting chastity.


There is a lot that isn’t said in this letter. But it sounds like he is abandoning his family to pursue gay sex. That is terrible and evil. The man could have been celibate. But he chose to make a vow before God. He somehow managed to have sex with a woman and produce children. He has an obligation to both to continue down the path he chose. He and his wife could stay married. He could choose, like we all do, not to act on desires.

Why he would be public about his failure is beyond me. I’d find my dad announcing to the world he is gay and going to act on it to be one of the hardest things in the world to forgive.

Exactly. I’ve seen lots of support for gays coming out in marriages but none for lustful men. A large segment of society seems to be unprincipled or stupid, neither of which is good.

It is one thing to struggle to live chastely with a disorder. It is another to promote it. Anyone who knows anything about gay pride knows it isn’t about chastity but about promoting lust and sex.


He was married with 2 children. How would is “faith community” have any inkling that he was gay?


When he says, “But if this honesty with myself about who I am, and who I was made by God to be, doesn’t constitute as the peace that passes all understanding, then I don’t know what does,” he appears to be saying that he believes that God made him to be gay. So if God made someone to be gay, why would He then demand that they not act in a way consistent with how He made them?


God made me to be attracted to 20 year old strippers. Would you think me a good and noble man if I left my wife and children to act in the way consistent with how God made me? Do you think my father would hug me for finally embracing myself as God made me?

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