Ah, Sailor Kenshin, I was in your place a few years ago. I was thinking, what is the use of fighting for good when it is so hard? Did not the Scriptures even tell us not to love the world? Did not the Scriptures say this world will pass away? So what is the point of trying to save the world?!
It was when I read G.K. Chesterton’s Orthodoxy that this riddle was solved for me. The world is not evil: “And God saw all the things that he had made, and they were very good” (Genesis 1:31). It is just that something catastrophic happened very long ago, when there was a rebellion, and because of that rebellion, evil entered and devastated the world: the Fall.
So what we have right now are actually what was rescued from a primordial shipwreck, like Robinson Crusoe. Which is why we must love this world, because we could have lost much more, and we can lose more still since those rebels are still with us. And yet we know that there is a better world out there, to where we can be rescued, and thus we must not trust the world, or we might just miss the rescue.
Therefore, we are called to hate the world enough to want to change it and not trust it, and love the world enough to think it worth changing to make it trustworthy. Christians are called to be patriotic to the universe, under the banner of the King of the universe, Jesus Christ.
Relax and rest. Withdraw from the front. You are worthless in front of the enemy tired and famished. Have yourself a break, and nourish yourself with the Bread and Wine of Life. Envelope yourself with the love and care of God throught prayer. Then when you are ready, you can go back to the fight.
Why don’t you click the link in my signature for an inspiring patriotic song? It’s the finale song from the musical Les Miserables. It just might help you.