so I can’t get spiritual direction for another month or so therefore I rely on your expertise to help me out a bit.
I have no idea what God wants me to do with my life, I’m almost graduating university so it’s becomg a bit of a pressing matter.
on the one hand, I really don’t feel called to marriage or religious life but on the other, I wonder if I’m resisting God’s will by being selfish. I enjoy being single and having the flexibility to do things or participate in ministries that others mamy not have the time for due to raising children or being in a convent or monastery. I do also want a career in sciences since I spent a dolt of time and energy in to getting the degree. and I’d like to maybe do missionary work or travel with my parish choir and visit friends and things like that as well as go to the Paralympics one day since I’m an athlete.
but I feel like somehow it’s not enough, that maybe I should just try and enter religious life even though I feel like I would be trapped and I don’t particularly like living with other people. most orders probably wouldn’t accept me due to my disability anyways. I feel like enjoying certain things is wrong now since Jesus said to pick up our cross and give up everything and unless I’m a religious order or clistered I’m not really doing that.
perhahps I’m just too wordly to be a good catholic, I know unconsecrated single life is not really a vocation but I just have no desire to enter a convent or get married but maybe I’m blocking out the desire with my own wants. maybe i’ll just end up like one of thos people with no vocation because I missed the call and therefore didn’t do God’s will.
and what happens if you don’t have a vocation, what if you did want to get married but couldn’t find someone? or what if you just do missa call. there never used to be an option to just be single inn catholic societies, it’s you either had to be a mother or a nun
I’m very confused. any advice would help