I really don't know what to do anymore


so I can’t get spiritual direction for another month or so therefore I rely on your expertise to help me out a bit.

I have no idea what God wants me to do with my life, I’m almost graduating university so it’s becomg a bit of a pressing matter.

on the one hand, I really don’t feel called to marriage or religious life but on the other, I wonder if I’m resisting God’s will by being selfish. I enjoy being single and having the flexibility to do things or participate in ministries that others mamy not have the time for due to raising children or being in a convent or monastery. I do also want a career in sciences since I spent a dolt of time and energy in to getting the degree. and I’d like to maybe do missionary work or travel with my parish choir and visit friends and things like that as well as go to the Paralympics one day since I’m an athlete.

but I feel like somehow it’s not enough, that maybe I should just try and enter religious life even though I feel like I would be trapped and I don’t particularly like living with other people. most orders probably wouldn’t accept me due to my disability anyways. I feel like enjoying certain things is wrong now since Jesus said to pick up our cross and give up everything and unless I’m a religious order or clistered I’m not really doing that.

perhahps I’m just too wordly to be a good catholic, I know unconsecrated single life is not really a vocation but I just have no desire to enter a convent or get married but maybe I’m blocking out the desire with my own wants. maybe i’ll just end up like one of thos people with no vocation because I missed the call and therefore didn’t do God’s will.

and what happens if you don’t have a vocation, what if you did want to get married but couldn’t find someone? or what if you just do missa call. there never used to be an option to just be single inn catholic societies, it’s you either had to be a mother or a nun

I’m very confused. any advice would help


Wow, I could have written your post. I also feel pretty lost at this point in my life. I don’t feel called to either married or religious life.

Unfortunately, I don’t have much advice, since I’m in the same boat. (I’m even disabled) But I will say it’s not true that the single life can’t be a vocation. God COULD certainly be calling you to serve him as a single person in the world. That’s what Catherine of Sienna did. She wasn’t a nun, but she never married either.

Anyways, I’ll be praying for you, that God leads you where you need to be. Pray for me as well. :thumbsup:


yes, prayers are definitely in order, thought God is pretty silent these days

guess we need to just be more patient. but it feels like I just don’t fit anywhere


Did you ever think that God might be testing you, a bit like Job ?


Actually the Church teaches that life, single or married, formally consecrated or not, is no less a state of life that God can call one to.

Take for instance a disabled Catholic who cannot marry nor join an order due to their particular circumstances. Are they any less called by God to make the most out of their life than others who can marry or join an order? Is their role in the body of Christ any less important than an other’s?

We regularly pray in the Liturgy of the Hours during Evening Prayer intentions for God to bless the world’s artists–I think about once every four weeks. Did you know that people are called to be artistic painters, writers, actors, dancers, musicians, movie makers, etc.? And no, a person doesn’t have to be an artist for a religious order or something Catholic to contribute and bring the Kingdom into the world either. This regular intention about God’s blessing the artists of the world recognizes God’s purpose that the world be enriched by their gifts.

Vocations come in all shapes and sizes. Some you choose (or think you are choosing), and others get dropped into your lap.

Vocations can be formal ones or situations you find yourself in and have to make the best of.

Some are called to choose their vocation and others have little choice but accept the hand they are dealt.

Some easily find their vocation only to lose it later, and others feel they cannot find their vocation only to realize at the end of their life that they’ve been living it all along.

A vocation is not something you force yourself into or are not sure about. A vocation is like a pair of shoes made especially for you. You will know it when you put them on or when God points out they’ve been on your feet all along.

Don’t let others rush you and don’t demand that God fill you in on every detail in the matter. Let your vocation happen. Let God happen in your life instead of it all being about your choice in the matter. Find your vocation. Stop trying to make it happen, because it will happen one way or another. I promise.


testing me with what?


You could potentially become a consecrated virgin. That’s what I want to do. It’s a legitimate form of consecrated life. Also, there’s nothing wrong with being single and maybe your vocation is to the single life. As you said, you are participating in ministries and I’m sure that’s really pleasing to God. Also, you can make a private vow of chastity like St. Catherine of Siena did. Any priest can dissolve that, but you really have to be certain to become a consecrated virgin as no one can dissolve the consecration. You should think about it, read about it and pray about it for years before coming to a decision. You should pray a lot about your vocation and really be open to what God has to say, although it’s not a sin to not follow your specific vocation. It’s much more important to follow the vocation we all have, which is the vocation to love.


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