I Really Hurt Someone Today... :(

That’s right. I fell off the abstinance train for the past few months. I’ve been actively seeking intercourse with multiple partners. I’ve been ignoring and blocking out the sin of the act.

And now today. I had met with this woman a few times on mere dates with no “fesitivies”, and today was the day where we planned to take things to the next level. We met at a motel and immediately acted. On prior encounters with other partners, I had numbed myself to the guilt and weight of sin. However, after the encounter was done this particular time, it all hit me. She had just stepped out after our festivities to something from the store, and was going to be back soon. And here I was, laying on the bed, realizing that I just couldn’t do this anymore.

I felt awful, and then I acted selfishly and maliciously when she came back. I told her my mother had called, and that grandma was in the hospital. I lied to her, and she knew it. There was an awkward few minutes, and she just grabbed her stuff and left.

On one hand, I had to get her out of my life because of the act I associated with her. On the other hand, I lied to her, and hurt her. I called her on the phone about 10 minutes after she left, and told her that I indeed lied. I told her my religious conflict, she was still absolutely crushed, and I told her I don’t blame her, and I realize no amount of “I’m sorries” was going to suffice. I just felt she deserved to hear the truth. I acted selfishly and pushed her away in a cold way.

I met her on an online dating app, and I had a few of them going. I deleted them all tonight. Because of my past few months of activity physically, I haven’t been able to take the body and blood for a long time. I’ve been living in mortal sin. I’ve been praying I don’t die while in this state. The sin puts a gigantic damper on my faith, and drives a wedge between me and the Lord, one I create, and I only.

I just feel so bad that in order for me to pull away from the sinful activities that have been plaguing me for the past few months, I had to hurt her. She deserved better.

When we sin we hurt others as well as ourselves.
We injure others’ souls by involving them in sin.
You hurt this girl who may not understand the implications, but in trying to protect your soul, you must hope that you didn’t injure hers but before God, protected her.
She may not see it that way in this often promiscuous and dulled-conscience world.

We owe a duty of prayer for anyone we have hurt, and who may have no faith or love for God,
and whose souls we have helped to wound or to wound even more than already is the case.
Keep in prayer all those whom you have involved in sin.
You may be the only person who prays for these particular persons.
In the end, your prayers may be used by God to save their souls.

You possibly already have plans for Confession, which hopefully you will be able to fulfill.

May God bless you and hold you always in His love.

It sucks hurting people. As is life. It is good you are following your honest convictions. God bless you. The person before me gave the perfect answer.

With all due respect, your guilt is misplaced. You shouldn’t feel guilty you hurt her by lying to her and asking her to leave you life half as much as you should feel guilty for hurting her for sleeping with her.

Go to confession and find strength in the Lord

A couple of things I would point out.

First of all, if anyone is going to engage in sexual activity outside of marriage, that’s one of the price tags. Things like that often stop abruptly for different reasons. Granted, it’s usually a dishonest element.

Secondly, a person has every right to refuse sexual encounters at any time.

It’s never quite so simple with this. That’s why it’s for a valid marriage.

Your guilt should be hurting God and yourself. Sex is indeed addictive. It hampers our way to perfection. Go to Confession and find a spiritual director. I think Confession alone does not suffice. Finding a nice priest to talk to really helps! He might perhaps figure out the reasons behind your emptiness in life and provide more support. Say 3 Hail Marys every night for chastity. When tempted by Satan, reject explicitly, telling Devil to leave you in the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Tell Devil that man ought not test God, and man lives not only by bread but also by the Word of God. Then ignore any temptation - let it go. Say the Prayer to St. Michael the Archangel.

As for the particular awkwardness you faced, honesty is the best policy. By telling her the truth you are actually helping her with seeking God and a more meaningful life. Offer all your guilt and burden to the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus.

I say these all from my heart. I have experienced similar struggles before, so I can pretty much make out how you felt. My words seem too harsh, but really they stem from my personal experience.

May Our Lady Help of Christians, Our Lady of the Holy Rosary bless you now and till the end of your journey on Earth. Amen.

I’m glad you feel sorry for it man. I’m glad you feel terrible about it. I’m glad you feel downright awful.

All of that means you’re still a guy with character. You’re still a guy with conscience. And heart.

But you’ve got a problem. You’ve got to deal with it. Because I can tell you some horror stories about this world of addictions and self-sabotage.

Instead I just want you to know I understand what you’re dealing with. And I think you need to think about getting some outside help here. Do it while you’re in this painful state. Do it while you still care deeply enough to want to change.

Peace.

-Trident

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