Thank you for reading this… It is a little long…but I really need some ideas…
For the last 3 or 4 years I have been “big sister” to a girl who is now 16 years old. I am also fairly good friends with her family having socialized around a common interest. They are such good friends that they are trying to move to our area. This family is entirely secularized, don’t even like to talk about religion, and I am pretty sure their kids are not baptized… (been meaning to find out for sure).
In the last couple years, this girl and I have become very close. She has come to stay with us on vacation, for the summer, goes on trips with me, and we show horses together. We are classically big/little sister. She confides in me for everything, and I love her like she were my own. BTW - I have no children of my own.
I have always been very plain and open about my catholicity with her family. We will be socializing together, and I will drop everything on the weekend to go to Mass by myself. I wear my scapular, have crucifixes on the wall, Mary, rosarys everywhere. They KNOW where I stand in life, and they have still encouraged and blessed my friendship with their daughter. I don’t preach - but try to perfectly do as St. Francis said “Preach always, sometimes use words”.
Last summer while this girl was staying with us. I began to teach her about the virtues of chastity and purity, because the subject of boys was a recurrent theme. She told me then she was a virgin and I believe that was true. She said she was going to remain so till she was married. I shared Jason Evert’s books with her, and she read them and shared them with her friends.
Over the last several months (this school year) I noticed big changes in her. Angry, emotionally up and down, potty mouth, just acting stupid for a straight A and talented student. She has a new group of friends. I could see she was beginning to spiral out of control. She told me she was “going with” a boy from school. She became friends with HIS sister - and she began overnighters at their house. I felt something fishy was going on - and pointed it out to her mom who seemed uninterested.
The problem was and still is - That I know her parents are giving her REALLY bad advice. Actually, her mom has given up on raising her. Never talks to her about “boys”, and just says… "Well, I just have to trust her, there is nothing I can do!"
The girl knows her parents don’t value her virtue… And it hurts her.
Then this past weekend - I went to watch her show her horse and she was being a real stinker. I yanked her aside to have a serious talk. She began to cry, and told me that she was no longer a virgin. We wept together and it was horrible. She said the next week her boyfriend dumped her. The horrible thing is that the week before the incident, her FATHER was telling her how great sex is, and that some day she is really going to enjoy it!! AHHHHHH!!! :banghead:
Then her mom… IS JEALOUS of me and my friendship with her daughter because the girl talks to me and not her. She realized I talked to the girl at the horse show and found out the details. Later that night, she told the girl that if she was going to have sex that she would get her birth control pills. (This was about an hour after I told the girl to NEVER accept contraceptives if her parents try to push them on her.)
This poor kid has the worst parents when it comes to this subject. But they insist that she maintain straight A’s, clean room, and all that **** - but they are throwing her to the lions otherwise. I worry about her also that she is borderline anorexic…Size 1 and image obsessed. But more then anything it is driving me crazy that her parents don’t even care if boys are taking her for a test drive!