I really need your prayers: Reconciliation with my dad


#1

Well, I had to discuss my feelings about my father, the past hurt and anger. And we did this in a very charitable way, but when we got to the point of reconciling our differences. He can’t seem to handle it. Now he’s not speaking to me again. He’s done this before. It’s almost as if he gets wounded and angry with me when I share my real feelings with him, and then he stops speaking to me. And that’s it. The last time this happen he stopped speaking to me for years. He just recently decided to come back into my life and after a certain time I felt we needed to discuss some things, but when we talked about it he reached a point were he just shut down and acted as if I didn’t exist. It hurts. I forgave him before. Then I allowed him to come back into my life and I would forgive him again. I only hope and pray that he can forgive me for bring this up again, but I really feel we need to discuss this. I want to create good memories with him, but for some reason he can’t seem to get beyond this point in our relationship. It’s almost as if he won’t accept responsibility for his part for the things that happened in the past. He has his point of view about this and I have mine. He seems to thinks that my life is a little askew. Even if it were, is that any reason for him to stop speaking to me? But that’s what he does. And we were doing so well. We really need all your prayers.

I’m sure he is breaking God’s commandment? Could we classify this as breaking the Fifth Commandment? Is this grave matter, and if it is, if he committed it with full knowledge and deliberate and complete consent, then would that be considered a mortal sin?

If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions. Matthew 6:14-15

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these." Matthew 12:30-31

This is my commandment: love one another as I love you. John 15:12

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. Colossians 3:12-13


#2

I can only say I will pray for you when I take my morning walk
Kathy


#3

I’ll pray for you.


#4

Hello,

  I felt the need to respond to your post because I have dealt with this problem myself.

  Instead of my father and I, it was my mother and I who did not get along.  We fought the whole time I was in high school.  I didn't appreciate the fact that she didn't appreciate who I was as a person.  I was, and still am, somebody who marches to the beat of her own drum.  There's a lot of freedom in being that way - less people to impress.  My mom has never seen it that way, but oh well, that's her problem.

  When I had my first and only child, I made the decision to breastfeed for an array of reasons.  My mother did not support this decision at all.  I think she was trying to protect me from more work, but I felt this protection was counter-productive because it resulted in a lot of yelling and screaming.  As my child got older, she suggested many times that I spank my child, when "time-out" was working just fine for her.  So, I just told her "No, spanking teaches a child to hit somebody in order to get what you want."  Anyway, this went on and on.  Hanging out with my mom was a chore, not an enjoyable pasttime.

  Well, then my grandmother, her mother, died.  She was my favorite grandmother, and I still miss her.  Anyway, as the daughter of the bereaved daughter, it was my duty to come and help in any way that I could.  I took care of paperwork, phone calls, and just acted as a ride-along buddy to the funeral home.  She was under so much duress that the doctor put her on anti-depressants.  After every thing was taken care of, she stayed on the stuff.  I swear, she's a different person now.  I'm on the stuff, too, so it probably runs in the family (depression, PMS, whatever).  Maybe that's what your dad needs.  I hate that all it took was a pill for her, but I guess it still took being in the right situation for her to realize that's what she needed.  

  I guess my point is that you can only do what you can do.  Don't blame yourself for the way your dad acts; he's a separate person from you with a separate relationship with God.  A priest told me in confession once that all you really have to do is *respect *your parents.  When you get old enough, you don't have to do everything they say, esp. if you think what they are telling you to do is wrong.  My dad is Episcopal now.  All my cousins chose to leave the Church.  I may be the only Catholic left in my family.  Am I blaming myself?  If I did, I wouldn't sleep at night.  You can always pray for people and let God work His magic, but ultimately, it's up to that person to respond to those prayers.  Hang in there.  Dealing with family can be tough because you only have one.  Can't really replace family, can ya?  

I’ll say an Our Father for you and your dad for a peaceful, renewed relationship.

God bless you,

Tracy


#5

I can really relate to this, as am going through family-reconciliation issues myself. Will definitely pray fo you - pray for me, too, please?


#6

You have my prayers. I have dealt with this kind of thing as well in my family, where I know they are doing the wrong thing, and I have spoken to them about how I feel about it, and they have responded negatively.:frowning:

I have found that the best thing to do here, is speak how you feel, then don’t mention it again,love them, and say prayers for them every day.
God can and will help you with this, it may not be like you would have it done, but His will be done, in His time.

Blessings,


#7

Thank you for all your comments and prayers.


#8

Dear Lord, I ask that be the bond between these two children of Yours. Help them both to look at eatch other through Your eyes, that they may see only with Love. In Jesus name we pray.


#9

I will pray for your intentions.


#10

Dear Mwroe…It sounds as if you will need a lot of understanding and forgiveness which you have shown already.
I think only your father and The Lord who can know if it is a matter of full knowledge and full consent to whatever any failing may be in essence presupposing there is one.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. Colossians 3:12-13

This quotation is the making and qualities of saints in their perfections (of the virtues mentioned), and very often we can fall short of being saints, but that does not mean that we give up trying. Saints are sinners who dont give up.

Keeping your relationship with your father in prayer…Blessings with Peace…Barb


#11

Prayers :gopray2:


#12

I’ll pray for you.


#13

I’ll pray for you and your situation. The only advise that I can give is that once you forgave your father, maybe it’s not best to keep bringing up the past. Maybe he’s having a hard time forgiving himself, and the reminders of the past are hard for him to live with. I would just be in the moment with him, and try to enjoy each others company. Don’t try to get him to accept responsibility for the past, because that’s not part of forgivness. Just love and forgive.


#14

Prayers.


#15

Remember - love the sinner, but hate the sins. Try to remove one from the other. Praying for you and your father to make progress toward a loving relationship. Amen.


#16

Praying for peace and love between you.


#17

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