I think God is calling me to be single...but I don't want to


#1

Hi I haven’t posted on this site in a while but I desperately need some help :(. I have been going back and forth in my mind while trying to discern God’s will. And I recognize the need to get in touch with a priest or spiritual director which I promise I am in the process of doing right now. I was just hoping someone could give me some of their personal insight :blush:.

Few things about me: I am a Catholic convert (Baptized, Confirmed April 2009) and I am also a single mother. I am a couple months shy of 21 and my son is currently 15 months old. I am about to receive an Associate’s Degree this semester and I will be transferring to a university, most likely to pursue an engineering degree (it was nursing but I realized nursing isn’t for me). I currently do not work. My parents have been tremendously generous in allowing me to stay at home while I finish school.

I pray everyday, I have read “Discernment of Spirits” by Father Gallagher. I am trying to get myself to go to Adoration more. I feel that God is stirring something in my heart right now (i.e. calling me to do something) but I can not entirely pinpoint what it is. I may be called to become a member of Opus Dei but of course wont know until I get in touch with someone.

I do know that I have been thinking about marriage a lot (as I have for most of my life) but it seems like God may be calling me to remain single…forever.

And I don’t mean to sound like I am pouting but I don’t want to be single forever! :dts: I mean shoot I even met this guy last week and even if our friendship never progressed into something more, the whole thought of being able to fall in love and share my life with someone in marriage and help them get to Heaven got me all excited but then I immediately became distraught because perhaps it isn’t what God wants.

Don’t get me wrong, I really want to want God’s will. And I truly want to love and serve my son and do what’s best for him. I guess if it really is God’s Will for me to remain single then I need some help overcoming these childish feelings. I humbly ask for your prayers! And thank you in advance for your help!

God bless,
Jennifer


#2

If God want You to stay single You will know. Your situation must be hard. To be alone with a child is a great job to pull thru,but with Gods help You will make it. Maybe You should try to stay as it it for a while. And You must talk to a priest,he can give You advices not possible to give on forums like this. If You don't want to stay single,and if God want You to,You are going against His will. That however is between Him and You. I can't see how to help You,but have faith,trust in God,and all will end as it should. I will pray for You. God bless.


#3

Honey, you are 21! :o It may just be early for you to discern! Don't panic and twist yourself up in knots about it. You have a child, and so obviously you are not unattractive, though hopefully you will have recommitted to purity until marriage.

God would want you to be a good mom to your child and trust in Him. This is probably just time after your baby's first year and your schooling that you probably feel like you're "coming up for air" to think about all these questions. That's perfectly natural! There's a term "state in life" - your state in life right now is a single mom. So probably at this point religious vows wouldn't be what you are called to.

Very well, that leaves marriage or singlehood. Unless you are like me, who really was clueless about dating and for whom the prospect of singlehood kind of turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy (though I never know - I may yet find "Mr. Right" for me) ;) , chances are the timing isn't right and you just haven't met the guy God has in mind for you. You don't say whether the child's father is still a possibility for a husband. But if he isn't, don't marry him and have a bad marriage; there will be someone else who can be a good husband and stepdad.

Seriously, you probably feel older than you really are due to the responsibilities you have. Take some time to pray and maybe if your folks can watch their grandbaby for awhile, just have some solitary time, take a walk or bike ride or whatever suits you, go shopping, feel the youth you still have, because you have plenty of it - trust me! I'm 48 and what I wouldn't give to be 21 for a day! :p Take care! God has a plan for you! :)


#4

When I read the title of your thread, I thought it came from someone in his/her mid-thirties. Don't you think it's a little early at 20 to think that God wants you to be single? And you can be a lot of things religiously as a laywoman while you're married, so that may be the stirring that you feel right now. Didn't I recently read a blog (Abigael's blog?) about a mother of 4-5 who was in the Third Order of a Carmelite Order (not exactly sure how to phrase this)? Perhaps you'd want to start a thread in the prayer request section to ask to better discern God's will for your life. Just from reading your post I can just sense that you have an awesome future in store for you. Best of success. Good post by 3DOCTORS (that I just read, taking forever to type mine).


#5

[quote="jenlovesyu, post:1, topic:228753"]
Hi I haven't posted on this site in a while but I desperately need some help :(. I have been going back and forth in my mind while trying to discern God's will. And I recognize the need to get in touch with a priest or spiritual director which I promise I am in the process of doing right now. I was just hoping someone could give me some of their personal insight :blush:.

Few things about me: I am a Catholic convert (Baptized, Confirmed April 2009) and I am also a single mother. I am a couple months shy of 21 and my son is currently 15 months old. I am about to receive an Associate's Degree this semester and I will be transferring to a university, most likely to pursue an engineering degree (it was nursing but I realized nursing isn't for me). I currently do not work. My parents have been tremendously generous in allowing me to stay at home while I finish school.

I pray everyday, I have read "Discernment of Spirits" by Father Gallagher. I am trying to get myself to go to Adoration more. I feel that God is stirring something in my heart right now (i.e. calling me to do something) but I can not entirely pinpoint what it is. I may be called to become a member of Opus Dei but of course wont know until I get in touch with someone.

I do know that I have been thinking about marriage a lot (as I have for most of my life) but it seems like God may be calling me to remain single...forever.

And I don't mean to sound like I am pouting but I don't want to be single forever! :dts: I mean shoot I even met this guy last week and even if our friendship never progressed into something more, the whole thought of being able to fall in love and share my life with someone in marriage and help them get to Heaven got me all excited but then I immediately became distraught because perhaps it isn't what God wants.

Don't get me wrong, I really want to want God's will. And I truly want to love and serve my son and do what's best for him. I guess if it really is God's Will for me to remain single then I need some help overcoming these childish feelings. I humbly ask for your prayers! And thank you in advance for your help!

God bless,
Jennifer

[/quote]

Isn't it possible that maybe God is just telling you to use this part of your life to focus on your son and on yourself? You said that you have been thinking about marriage most of your life. Maybe at this time God is calling you to do something that is not compatible with marriage for the time being.


#6

I'm a bit stunned by this. At 20 years old, you have alot of time to think about what your next step in life is!


#7

I must be a little out of touch with reality huh...:o

I appreciate all of your responses. I think you guys/gals are right. In retrospect I am a little young.

I will still be talking to a priest soon though.

Thank you for all your help! God bless.

-Jennifer


#8

[quote="jenlovesyu, post:7, topic:228753"]
I must be a little out of touch with reality huh...:o

I appreciate all of your responses. I think you guys/gals are right. In retrospect I am a little young.

I will still be talking to a priest soon though.

Thank you for all your help! God bless.

-Jennifer

[/quote]

If you were out of touch with reality you would have not asked this fundamental question. :)


#9

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