I'm a 17 year old female, and I really think God is calling me to religious life. I truly want to be married to Christ and do His work in the world. He's the love of my life, and I just want to go and radiate His love to everyone. I feel drawn to the life of poverty, chasity, and obidence. Well, it's getting to the point when people are asking me what I want to do after high school. I know most orders require college, so I'm going to go to college, but I really want to enter the convent after I graduate from college. I'm an only child, and my parents have told me many times that they can't wait to have grandkids. Also, my dad is sick, and his illness will progress over time, and he'll need constant care. I know my mom will need me there to help tend to him, she won't have anyone else. My mom is also a really skeptical Catholic. She's really afraid of molesters, like she refuses to go to Confession because she dosen't want to be alone with a priest. Also, she banned me from overnight retreats for a long time. She almost didn't allow me to Confirm because I had to stay at an overnight retreat. She thinks I need protection, and I feel like she thinks I need to be married for that. I expressed to her that I wanted to study theology in college and she thought I was crazy. Because I'm an only child, they're very overproctive and strict. I'm a normal teenager, which means I get into arguments with my parents sometimes. My mom has been telling me lately that I'm going to hell, that I'm a bad person, and she critizizes me for going to Confession by saying things like "You are so wrong thinking that you can go to Confession and think you're ok with God."
I'm really scared to tell them about my vocation. I really want to enter a convent with their blessing, but from what I see right now it might not happen. I'm just trusting in God's plan for me, I know things will work out just fine. But this is really eating at me. I would deeply appreciate any advice or prayers.