I have an illness and over the years I’ve been in secular counseling more times than I care to count. I have become disheartened with the whole process after not being able to find anyone that could help me. I quit going to counseling about a year ago. It was very expensive and very exhaustive for something that wasn’t working!!!
I know in my heart that I cannot overcome this illness without the help of God!!! I had resigned myself to the fact that He would have to heal me Himself without counselors or otherwise there was NO HOPE FOR ME!!!
WELL, HERE’S WHERE I SCREWED UP: About two months ago, I was talking to my pastor about my illness. He recommended a spiritual counselor for me to talk to. He felt like this counselor, whom he knows personally could help me. He gave me his number but I chose not to make the appointment.
After many times of him suggesting that I call him; I finally did so. I spoke to the counselor on the phone a couple of times and even made an appointment!
I’m ashamed to say that when it got close to appointment time I rescheduled and then ultimately cancelled on him with no intentions of ever really going. (Honestly, my thoughts were at that time that he couldn’t help and it would be a waste of both of our times!) I realize this is unhealthy thinking now!
My pastor asked me once again if I went and when I told him I cancelled; he ENCOURAGED me to reschedule!!!
It’s been apx. a month since I cancelled those appts. and now I have this horrible “gnawing” feeling inside of me telling me that I’ve made a horrible mistake!!!
I realize that this spiritual counselor may very well have been the answer to my prayers after all of these years!!! I just blew God off!!!:banghead: :banghead:
The counselor is probably so disgusted with me after not keeping TWO appointments that he wouldn’t even bother to call me back to allow me to explain myself!!!
What if anything can I do at this point??