I think the priest gave me advice, he didn’t order me. How would I know he ordered me though? Giving advice and speaking an order can sound quite similar… we were only talking on the phone that time.
Angels Unaware, that is kind of what my friend said I was doing: Enabling the woman. He said that was not the Christian thing to do. But I don’t agree! Ok, my friend looks out for me too, he knows I tend to be very very giving and maybe sometimes naive, and he sees that I live very simply myself, so it’s not like I am a millionnaire or something who could just walk around hand out money ;-). My friend thinks this is part of a pathology in me, this having to give, not being able to pass anyone sometimes.
Now this woman comes from another country and she was here before and I paid for her to go back. She says she has children and things in her country are very bad socially, financially. She said that time that she wanted to come back again to make money here so she can send something home. Aparently this time somebody had a job offer for her, but it didn’t work out, so she was playing in the street again and sometimes not even making enough money for herself to spend the night (no free homeless shelter in our town).
Yesterday I talked to her and she seemed desperate, she said there was a bus going today and the next only on Sunday, I was really wavering, I felt sorry for her… OF COURSE it was her own responsibility, coming here again, she should have known… but she also said this time she wouldn’t come back like that anymore, I think she wants to try and stay there with her children (they are staying with her Mom). I wanted to call this priest I had talked to and ask him for advice, I was so tempted to just give her the money for a ticket, I went to my bank and looked at my balance and saw I had more than enough for my own vacation next week and it wouldn’t hurt me to give her the money.
I couldn’t reach the priest so I took her with me to go look for him, and she came all the way to the church, and we talked a bit on the streetcar (for which she paid herself), and finally I sat down on a bench next to her and explained to her that I had looked at my balance and seen that I could afford to help her again. I felt I did the right thing. I was going to get her the ticket directly but I am working today. Turns out though that the bus leaves after I get off work, and yes, she WANTS me to come and see her off. Isn’t that a sign she is telling the truth? I am not sure if I’ll make it but I can try.
Ok, enough, long story, sorry ;).