I think I love her?


#1

I have had a girlfriend for about 2 1/2 years. She is a great girl, very caring, loving, detail oriented (unlike me therefore we balance each other out lol) and everything seems to be perfect. I recently came back to the Catholic Church about 5 months ago and am currently in RCIA and have changed my life in many ways to be in accordance with my faith. It has been a beautiful journey. I have always been "Catholic" by tradition, but I never lived my life according to my faith. She also is "Catholic" by tradition but does not live her life based on her faith. Clearly this became an issue in our relationship when God brought me back to His church.

Chastity was clearly one of the bigger struggles and still is. While she does conform to most of the things I ask from her (living chastely, not sleeping in the same bed, not tempting each other) I feel like she does it because she is scarred to lose me instead of out of love. I always thought I loved her but looking back it was probably more lust than love. I am trying to basically restart our relationship so that I can learn to love her without acting on lust. Does it mean I don't love her because I am trying to "learn to love" her? Wouldn't I just know if I loved her? Or has my mind been so corrupted by lust that it is necessary for me to "learn to love"?

.....I just realized I posted this on the wrong category but I dont know how to move it.... sorry =/


#2

If you are willing to sacrifice for her, then you love her.
And yes, this does take a lot of hard work!


#3

It seems to me like it could be "the real thing"
You have been together over two years. You are celibate and no one is walking away in protest. Most young couples who only have superficial physical attraction to each other, would have looked elsewhere by now.
Good luck!


#4

First of all, let me say that you have a very good woman here. Take good care of her. Is she too from a Catholic or other Christian background?

As you grow older you are going to find that you have to “learn to Love”, over and over again. This does not mean that you do not love her now or that you are “corrupted by lust”. It just means that you are learning new ways to love, and so is she.

For now I’m not going to speak to the “living arrangements” though I’m sure your going to quickly hear “move out” from others.

For now I am just going to say, Be patient with yourself, and with her. Keep all avenues of communication open. Each of you need to learna but and appeciate the many many wonderful facets of each other - interests, habits, hobbies, plans, goals, dreams, etc. It may be hard, but you’ll quickly find out if you truly love each other on the deepest levels.
it’s worth the journey.

Peace
James


#5

Dear friend,there are so many things that shows if the love is "for real" or not. As Catholics You both know the "rules" so try to hold on to them,and if the love is real,You have a good wife in her. I bless You both and hope that You will be happy,what ever might life brings.


#6

[quote="Sum_Fidelis, post:5, topic:226334"]
Dear friend,there are so many things that shows if the love is "for real" or not. As Catholics You both know the "rules" so try to hold on to them,and if the love is real,You have a good wife in her. I bless You both and hope that You will be happy,what ever might life brings.

[/quote]

Amen!


#7

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