I have had a girlfriend for about 2 1/2 years. She is a great girl, very caring, loving, detail oriented (unlike me therefore we balance each other out lol) and everything seems to be perfect. I recently came back to the Catholic Church about 5 months ago and am currently in RCIA and have changed my life in many ways to be in accordance with my faith. It has been a beautiful journey. I have always been "Catholic" by tradition, but I never lived my life according to my faith. She also is "Catholic" by tradition but does not live her life based on her faith. Clearly this became an issue in our relationship when God brought me back to His church.
Chastity was clearly one of the bigger struggles and still is. While she does conform to most of the things I ask from her (living chastely, not sleeping in the same bed, not tempting each other) I feel like she does it because she is scarred to lose me instead of out of love. I always thought I loved her but looking back it was probably more lust than love. I am trying to basically restart our relationship so that I can learn to love her without acting on lust. Does it mean I don't love her because I am trying to "learn to love" her? Wouldn't I just know if I loved her? Or has my mind been so corrupted by lust that it is necessary for me to "learn to love"?
.....I just realized I posted this on the wrong category but I dont know how to move it.... sorry =/