I think I messed up...

Hi,
Some of you may recall from other posts that I have been having a rough time with a family member and the disastrous financial calamity this has caused.

Well today my family member hit a new low, so I thought I would go to a Thursday night mass. I pondered for quite a while if I should do this due to the fact that I have one sin in a “gray” area. I know it is better to abstain if in doubt, but I really needed to be as close to the Lord as possible today.

I was still debating if I was in a state of mortal sin or not when the time came, that if I did not leave, I would be late to Mass. It was then that total reason left my mind. I said out loud, “Lord, I am going to flip this dime three times, and if I am in mortal sin, let me see heads at least once.” Tails, three times in a row. I immediately felt better and went to mass.

At mass I began to feel a bit funny again about the whole thing. Not sure, flipping a dime [really???] Father, for some reason, put more than one piece of the Eucharist on my tongue, some of which hit the floor. I apologized to the Lord and quickly gathered up the host and consumed it.

Well I left Mass in quite a state. [My Rosary broke too!] I went to the other side of the property and did the stations of the cross using my prayer book. Now I wonder if I committed sacrilege. I feel like getting on the elevator of life and hitting the “H” button for Hell!

Needless to say I will confess the whole thing Saturday, no doubt about it. Till then, I was hoping someone might say or suggest something to make me feel a bit better about what happened, so I don’t torture myself for 48 hours.:imsorry:

Two main things: One, yes, the flipping coin thing was a mistake. You should never, ever discern the state of your soul be some thing so random, and in such a way that you cannot know whether the result was from God or not. (Yes, the chance of flipping tails three times in a row was 1/8, but still).

The second thing, though, is that you shouldn’t attribute the other events (Eucharist falling, rosary breaking) with any power. It’s superstitious to think that. Yes, perhaps they were part of a wake-up call, but you should not completely freak out.

Yes, confess this. In an ordinary situation where a person receives communion when he is “not sure” whether or not he is in a state of mortal sin, the communion is presumed to not be sacrilegious, but in this case you seem to have attributed the coin flipping to the power of God, telling you that you are not in a state of mortal sin. This is testing God.

So, I absolutely suggest telling the story in confession as you told it here, with all the relevant details, but you can leave out the parts about the odd events during and after mass. Those are entirely irrelevant to the sin committed.

There was no sin in connection with the dropped host. It was not your fault that the priest put two (or more) on your tongue, and you did the best thing to consume it with an appropriate prayer.

Flipping a dime is not the best method for discernment. Would that be considered putting the Lord to a test? I am not sure. I suggest you ask your confessor for guidance on that.

If you are superstitious, you may think the dropped host and the broken rosary are bad omens, warnings, or signs of God’s displeasure. Do you think God warns us by making bad things happen? Bad things happen to good people as well. Please be assured that these happenings are coincidental.

I am praying that the Holy Spirit assist and guide you to be reconciled somehow with your family member, and to ease your anxieties. “May mercy, peace, and love be yours in abundance.” (Jude 1:2)

You do realize, don’t you, that you can go to Mass even if you don’t receive Communion?

Yes, it is very sad that many people today feel “pressured” to receive at every single mass. I can’t even begin to count the holy masses I have attended where, unfortunately, I was not able to receive for one reason or another (usually due to sin, wretched sinner that I am). We are obliged to receive Holy Communion only once per year for a reason, yet we must attend mass every single Sunday and holy day of obligation.

Thanks guys, wonderful answers! I thought about the coin flipping as testing God as well. As far as the superstition, well, I think God sometimes speaks to us using other people, but clearly you would have to be very careful about that, yet God does use us as his servants to spread his good word.

The Rosary breaking… your right, that ranks with worry about walking under a ladder.

Thanks to everyone.

Hi Essiefe. How are you? i think it’s great that you went to mass… Very few people attend mass during weekdays… i would like to ask you why it seems that you didn’t consider the possibility of attending mass and not receiving holy communion? i love going to mass, but, unfortunately, i’m a huge sinner, so, most of the time i’m unable to receive holy communion. I wish you the best, i hope all the problems with your family member get solved as soon as possible.
God bless you and your family.

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