I’ve been struggling with my sexual orientation for five years now, and I’m just gonna say that I’m gay. I can’t hide from it anymore, I can’t try to explain it away, it’s just there. It is what it is. I’m a 24 year old guy, but have had little sexual experience compared to most kids in my era, but they have not been positive. Is there anyone in this forum who specializes in sexuality and psychology? I want to reconcile belief in God with my sexual orientation, and don’t want to come off as this kid who is ashamed of who he is and using religion as a way to hide from it. Anybody know how to help me?
I would say find you a good priest whom you can trust and confide in him. He can instruct you as to reconciliation and how to live a chaste life and fulfill God’s will for your life. It is nothing to be ashamed of, but it is a cross you must bear. The challenge will be how well you bear this cross. I will add you to my prayers tonight - that God may give you strength for your path.
I pray that you will be able to overcome any conflicts you are facing.
I am not an expert on anything to help you, but if you need to talk to someone I can listen. I had 2 friends who came out (ages 22 and 25, so similar to you) and they both decided they could not live a Christian life while living the way they wanted to. They have since turned their backs and have went down dark roads, and neither of them are happy right now. They are wrong; you can devote yourself completely while still being true to who you are. I know it must be hard.
If you google “catholic and gay”, you get a lot of good testimonies… though I’m sure you’ve already read through those. Here was the first one: lifeteen.com/gay-catholic-and-doing-fine/
i second this posting
I third this post
I fourth this post.
Pray The Rosary!!!
Can’t emphasize it enough!
Melinda Selmys is a bisexual Catholic convert. She had an active, loving lesbian relationship for many years before she converted. She’s unique in that she’s someone who is not afraid of homosexuals, bisexuals and transgendered persons, or reconciling their problems with Catholicism.
Here is her blog:
I hope it helps.
Take a serious look at Regeneration Ministries. Not RC, but deals with sexuality from a Christian perspective. Has helped many who have walked the same path you are on, including some very good friends of mine. God is more powerful than any issue we face, and He can redeem anyone at any time. regenerationministries.org/
I fifth this post
My only advice to you is this, stick with the church. Your orientation might not change but your perspective on all of this just might. Drop anchor in a safe place. The Church is a safe place.
there is nothing wrong with being homosexual
you must abstain from sexual relations
just stay cool’ be celibate and find your way in the catholic church
-I’m heterosexual and I’m not ashamed for being heterosexual. You shouldn’t be ashamed for being homosexual. Your sexual orientation is just one aspect of who you are, not the sole aspect of who you are.
-I find women attractive and sexually attractive (different then lust) because I am heterosexual and I’m not ashamed of this. Such feelings of attraction are natural and not actually immoral. You shouldn’t be ashamed for finding men attractive and sexually attractive because you are homosexual. Such feelings of attraction are natural and not actually immoral.
-I have, and sadly do, have lustful thoughts about women and I am ashamed of this. I’m ashamed because such thoughts are sinful. If you have lustful thoughts about men then you should be ashamed of them because they are sinful.
-I didn’t have sexual relations with women outside of marriage, but if I did I would be ashamed of doing so because it is sinful. The same applies for you in regards to sexual relations outside of marriage.
Bottom line, there is nothing to feel shameful about when it comes to your sexual orientation. The shameful part should be associated with what sexual actions you engage in, and frankly the only real difference in this regard between heterosexuals and homosexuals is the gender of the person you are are doing the acts with.
unmarried people cannot have sexual relations; the catechism is not that difficult to understand; maybe your vocation is celibacy
there are a lot of productive outlets for single people in our Church
Look into courage and join a group. Pray and consider talking to professional. Narth can refer someone near you. Will pray for you.
Indeed, fornication and gay sex are both considered intrinsically disordered by the Church.
“Reparative therapy” has been show to be ineffective at best in a study that got funding from Exodus when they were still promoting reparative therapy. All reparative therapy does successfully is increase the risk of suicide and take money from naïve parents.
You have had several good suggestions. I hope you follow up on them.
Are you a gay, defined by your sexual proclivity. Or are you a child of God, defined by the Sacraments? How you answer that, will determine your success.