I met a really nice guy in college ten years ago and my instinct then told me he had same sex attraction (his voice and his music and television interests). At the time, I was not living the holiest life and while I thought he was one of the most wonderful people I had ever met I had no interest in dating him.
We remained friends and he has always claimed to be straight even though he has acknowledged to others that people often ask him if he is gay. I began to see him in a completely different light and began caring much more deeply for him about a year ago. Being a practicing Catholic for the last five years, I have tried to be discerning about only dating guys who would share my values about purity. He seemed so sweet and innocent, seemed to share my Christian values about chastity, and is very successful.
For several months we would go out regularly but I kept my distance because I still had the suspicion but he sat me down and told me how much he cared for me and wanted to be more than friends.
Something seemed amiss though because he stopped inviting me out as much and when I brought it up he blamed it on his career as a doctor and suggested we just be friends because I shouldn’t take a backseat to his job. I was very heartbroken but tried to understand.
Right after that he started following and liking pictures of shirtless men, men hugging and kissing at clubs, men in speedos, etc. on Instagram. I care about him as a friend but I feel so betrayed and disturbed and it’s hard for me to be his friend knowing he probably lied to me. He might not be aware that others can see his activity on there.
I do not support his lifestyle and part of me wants to confront him and push him away but on the other hand I want to control myself and be there for him as a friend because I do love him as my brother in Christ (and more).
I feel too ashamed and embarrassed to tell anyone and I don’t know what to do, if I should confront him or how to deal with our friendship moving forward. I am filled with so much anger and disappointment.
What should I do?