My husband befriended a man new to our parish. He met him after mass when we were recuiting parishioners for a new ministry, and he was interested in joining. He seemed ordinary, no red flags, except that after talking with my husband he went home (across the street from our parish) and brought back pictures of himself during a fishing trip. This is when my husband introduced me to him. I thouht it was odd for a 50 year old man to run to his house and bring back pictures as if for a show and tell that a child would do.
Shortly after, my husband invited him for dinner, as this man said he had terminal cancer and has no family in the state, and my husband felt sorry for him. I agreed. We welcomed this man into our home. We wanted to let him know that he would not be alone when the time came.
This was over a year ago. He appearantly had been in remission for longer than we've known him, but he sees himself as a disabled (unemployed), sober, termanill ill patient. He is a very needy person, and clings to my family every opprtunity he gets.
This clinging was tolorable when i first met him because I thought he was a dying man, and I did not know him well. The problem is that he has taken some unsolicited liberties with me, which I believe are inappropriate, and my husabnd, though he has admitted that at times he feels uncomfortable when that man is around me, he still insists that the man is harmless and I should continue to befriend him and gets upset with me when i don't.
I need your opinion to see if the following behavior is harrassment:
At church fuctions, the man would wait for me to be alone to approach me, and if I was not alone, he would remain at a distance, just looking at me.
When he approached to greet us, I would extand my hand out for a hand shake from a distance, and he would take steps forward to hug and kiss me. I hated that he would also do this during mass (he also sits with us during mass) at them time of giving each other the sign of peace. I withdrew the courtesy of shaing his hand, and he would still go for a hug and a kiss ( I could see his lips pucker as he took his first step toward me). I feel so disgusted just remembering this. I actually had to push him away from me, because putting my hands out in front of me as a barrier between him and i was not enough to tell him he was overstepping boundaries.
The worst of it all, is that my husband is been right next to me in these situations, and he thinks it is all harmless.
This is causing a great strain in our marriage. I don't even want to go to mass, because he is always there waiting for us.
Please advice...am i being harrassed or am i wrong to feel this way and for wanting to stay away from this man? what should I do?