Yesterday, after several months of searching, praying, and reading, I finally consecrated myself entirely to Jesus through Mary by way of St Louis de Montfort. It was an awesome day… wow. As I was saying the words, I felt like I was praying in the presence of my Guardian Angel, other Angels and Saints, and since I had just received the Eucharist, it was powerful knowing I was speaking to Jesus really present in my heart.
When I got to the part about “forever renouncing satan”, and giving myself entirely to Jesus, - I suddenly realized that these words are truly ETERNAL, that they have the character of a vow… it felt like such a significant moment, next only to my Baptism. I then renewed my Baptism promises and entrusted myself to Our Lady.
When I came out of the church, I felt so much joy, and I had this knowledge that YES I now belong to God more perfectly than I ever have before, because it’s through the hands of Mary. And that everything in me and everything I own now belongs to her, and to Jesus through her, she will keep me safe and the enemy will never have me.
it was a really awesome moment
when I think that I am now consecrated in this way forever and ever… that this will last for eternity… I have to say that this is more than my mind can understand, when I think of this, I am both happy and a little scared lol.
Well one reason I’m posting this is just to tell everyone that this is a wonderful devotion and I already notice some of the results. It is forcing me to die to self much more than I have before, it has given me greater confidence in prayer, and has taken away many worries I regularly struggled with. Also, I know that it will help me to bear much more fruit in my life, which is what I’ve prayed for. I know that this is only the beginning and it would take lots of effort to live out this consecration and to stay faithful to it, much more to persevere in it… I also know that it will not always be so easy as it is now, that I’d have to struggle sometimes and carry some crosses, but I know Jesus and Mary would be with me.
I just have one question though. I’m hoping that anyone who has made this consecration and understands it might help me answer it…
Yesterday, before Mass, I really felt like the enemy was trying to confuse me and prevent me from doing this consecration. I felt sooo much fear about it all, especially about committing idolatry. I think this was the old Protestant self in me lol, always afraid of Mary…
then I prayed the Rosary and felt much better, and during the Mass, one of the readings was “do not be afraid and only believe”… .and I felt like this is what God was trying to tell me, and I took Him at His word. After the Eucharist, I asked Jesus again if it would please HIm if I did this consecration, and I think He showed me that it would.
But today, whenever I think “I am no longer my own, I am now Mary’s and I’m her slave forever and ever” (to use some of De Montfort’s terminology lol) - a part of me is still afraid about idolatry. (though another part of me is glad)
I find that a little ridiculous, because:
- when I was doing my 33 day preparation, everything made sense and I never once questioned anything in the book (True Devotion)
- St Louis de Montfort makes it VERY clear that Jesus is the end of this devotion, that it is centered on Him, that we only give ourselves to Mary so that she would give us to Him more perfectly…
- the intention in my heart as I was saying the prayer is to belong entirely to God
- it is the nature of Our Lady to bring us to Jesus, she never keeps anything for her own
- it is CALLED “act of consecration to Jesus through Mary”.
So I think this little fear I have is something left over from yesterday, when I felt really confused.
Can someone please help me understand what happened? If we give ourselves to Mary with the intention of belonging to Jesus, and she then gives us perfectly to Him, - that is not idolatry right? I never thought it is… I really felt that the Holy Spirit was helping me understand what De Montfort was saying, but that now maybe the enemy is trying to get me to ‘undo’ my consecration… that is, to take it back. But it was like a vow and I’m not taking it back, ever. I feel a lot of peace and I feel very safe and secure with Mary, - but I also feel like there’s a type of a battle going on in me, and I’m kind of tired of these doubts/fears. I had many fears too when I became Catholic. I guess this is a regular sort of thing for me…
I feel so much more confidence in God, and many of my worries have gone away… for example, I used to be scared about the future, but now I’m not anymore. And it’s like I’m able to trust God with so much more.
But this one fear, it’s starting to get to me.
It IS alright to give ourselves to Mary, right? Since Jesus is still the ultimate end? I feel that I am His…more perfectly His than ever… but that I am also hers, that I really am Mary’s child and slave.
Please only reply if you know about this devotion…I really don’t want any debate, rather advice from those who have perhaps made the Consecration or are looking into it seriously.