I’ve hit a dilemma


#1

So this is going to sound like a really strange concept to a lot of people who it is foreign too, but please bear with me.

I am a fictiophile, meaning I am attracted heavily to fictional characters (I assume you can all see where this is going)

I’ve had relationships with real women in the past before, but as of recently I’ve gotten feelings for a fictional character. I don’t know what to do, I know that this isn’t God’s plan, I know that non religious people would tell me it would be fine, but I want the opinions of other Catholics.

I’ve prayed for God to show me a way out of this but sadly that has not arrived. I understand that he probably wants me to figure this out on my own, but I’m not really sure where to go from here, any advice?


#2

While the reason would be outside of the norm, I don’t see why this is different than in a situation with a real woman who can’t or won’t enter into a relationship with you. For example, if she is married or just doesn’t like you in that way.

The fact that reason she can’t do this because she’s fictional is actually irrelevant. Love is something shared between two people, and so naturally she can’t love you in any real way. So while you might have some manner of affection or attraction to them, you can’t likewise receive those things from them. (And those things are not even love, so there’s is quite a ways to go after that).

So I would see this as personal issue, possibly relating to self-esteem, though I can only speculate. Again, while bizarre, I suppose it’s not necessarily all that different than “falling for” a celebrity. To a degree, their social identity is constructed (and I suppose more and more everyone is like this), but it’s not uncommon for someone to become attached to this idea of a person.


#3

Calls to mind that song…“Come to reality, repeat”


#4

I would suggest you:

  1. Pray to ask Saint Dympna for help
  2. Call around your Diocese for the closest mental health professional who is Catholic.

#5

What do you mean “where to go from here?”

What is there to do or to deal with?


#6

It is an attachment to the idea of the character. If it is a disordered attachment it would be a disruption to normal activities. We should strive to remove disordered attachments.


#7

I’ve lost count of the number of books I read where I’d either project myself into the setting— not necessarily the story itself, mind you, but project myself into the characters’ world and interact with the characters— or I’d imagine that the characters were transported into my world. Mostly, that kind of stuff happened when I was in high school/college, didn’t have solid/fulfilling relationships with real people, or my solid/fulfilling relationships were going poorly at the time, and I wanted to immerse myself in some sort of imaginary world.

It went away naturally enough on its own-- I’d outgrow it, or I had something else to focus on, or I developed new relationships to replace the ones that were bringing me stress and dissatisfaction. Likewise, I’d take the energy and the imagination that went into cultivating fantasy lands, and turn it to writing stories of my own. It started off, in the early days, with writing fanfiction, because the characters were already there, and I could just focus on plot. But that also eventually matured into writing my own stuff. There’s any number of Call for Submissions groups of FB; Ralan used to be a good place to see who wanted what; Absolute Write was a good place to hang out around other writers…

So, while my fantasies were never romantically driven, I suspect there’s a lot of overlap. So perhaps there’s some degree of overlap in the solution.


#8

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