I want brutally honest answers for this sexual sin


Is oral sex a graver sin than fornication? If a woman performs oral sex on a man, is she still a virgin? Do you have to have full-on sex to be virgin what about a little penetration? I have never full-on sex, because I am scared. What would you think of girls who just gives men oral sex, but does not get any in return?


Sex outside of marriage is a sin. Sodomy is a sin in addition to being a violation of the laws of nature.


Any sex outside of marriage is a sin. Sexual intimacy of any type is intended to be a renewal of the commitment a man and a woman made to one another at their wedding. It should reflect the self giving love they promised one another when they wed. So let me ask you does the oral sex you are talking about here meet those criteria?


Am I still considered a virgin though?


Bill Clinton will let you know that he learned oral sex is considered sexual relations. :wink:

Oral sex doesn’t mean that you aren’t a virgin, though. But you should keep your mouth off of the penis. OK? If a penis has entered into your vagina, then you aren’t a virgin.


Technically, yes, I would say so. But when it comes down to it, once someone’s genitals make an appearance, there is definitely some type of sexual encounter taking place.


Ask your priest…


Both are grave matter against the sixth commandment.

Why does this matter? Such an act is a grave sin against the sixth commandment, a violation of the woman and the man’s dignity as children of God, grave sins against the virtues of purity, modesty, and chastity.

“Virginity” is a physical state. It is narrowly defined as an intact hymen (for a woman), or more broadly a person who has not had vaginal intercourse (since the hymen can be ruptured in many ways that have nothing to do with sex).

Seek to be chaste in your state of life. Seek the virtues of purity and modesty. Being chaste is so much more than any technicality of “virgin” or “not virgin”.

I suggest you read Jason Evert’s excellent books on chastity, visit chastity.com, or view Evert’s videos.


What about drinking just a little poison. Do you think that will kill you. Ugh! Come on, sin is sin.

When you are married, you and your spouse will be able to enjoy the marital embrace. It is nothing to be scared of.

Outside of marriage, it is a wrong use of God’s gift of sexuality and it offends Our Lord greatly.

I would think that this girl needs to get herself to confession quickly and that she needs therapy to determine why she would degrade herself in this manner.


Hahahaha! Good advice. No penis in mouth except as foreplay to a sexual encounter between a married couple!


In my estimation…yes.

Oral sex is nothing more than mutual masturbation. (Sin)
Virginity is lost when normal vaginal penetration occurs.


That doesn’t matter. What matters is that sex outside of marriage (be it oral sex, penetrative sex etc.) is gravely sinful. The sin is not whether you are a virgin or not, but whether or not you are engaging in sex outside marriage.


It matters to me. I consider myself a virgin though. I wonder if I am lying.


Does it matter how long? Like five - thirty seconds? What are the risks for STDS?


Sex is not that great, but it seems that the masses are addicted to it. Don’t settle for the natural when you can have the supernatural; seek God.


It shouldn’t “matter to you.” You might still consider that the label “virgin” applies to you, but if you are engaging in oral sex, or any other kind of sex, several other labels probably also apply which are not fit to print on this site. However the most appropriate would be “in a state of mortal sin.” That means that if you know what you are doing and you know it is wrong (which you do) unless you stop and go to confession, the last label that will apply to you is “damned”.


I am not saying this as a judgment on you, but if one were to use the following definition, it would be hard to say that you are a virgin.

From the Catholic Encyclopedia:

There are two elements in virginity: the material element, that is to say, the absence, in the past and in the present, of all complete and voluntary delectation(pleasure and delight), whether from lust or from the lawful use of marriage; and

the formal element, that is the firm resolution to abstain forever from sexual pleasure.

It is to be remarked, on the one hand, that material virginity is not destroyed by every sin against the sixth or ninth commandment, and on the other hand that the resolution of virginity extends to more than the mere preservation of bodily integrity, for if it were restricted to material virginity, the resolution, at least outside the married state, might coexist with vicious desires, and could not then be virtuous.



You can get STDs from oral sex, BTW.

If you could have possibly contracted an STD, you should avoid ANY SEXUAL CONTACT and go to your doctor.


I think the commenters on this forum answered the question very well. There is no fudging it here. The difference between oral versus vaginal sex is a distinction without a difference when it comes to the sinfulness of it outside of the marriage bond. I’ve heard this before about girls wanted to remain a “technical virgin” by engaging in other sex acts.

I worry that perhaps you are being put under some pressure to perform oral sex on a boy/man. When I was a high school age boy I put a lot of subtle pressure on my girlfriend to do this for me. She was just like you, didn’t want to lose her virginity, but eventually she compromised on other sex acts. This was out of my own selfish desire, hormones, and a desire for honor among my peers. It was terribly wrong for me to do this. I hope that you don’t make the same mistake, and I hope your boyfriend is a better man than I was (and if not, he doesn’t deserve you). I would encourage you to consider what sorts of things are going on inside and with your boyfriend/friends/his friends etc. that are leading you this way…

Last thing. There are a lot of fears that come with sex when you are young. I remember when I was a teenager, I was terrified that I would be a virgin forever (the pressures for boys are a bit different than for girls), and I felt pressure to have sex just to “get it over with.” But you know, none of those relationships lasted very long, and they weren’t very fulfilling inside and left me with a lot of wounds. Sex with my wife is much more fulfilling, as it isn’t about our self desires, insecurities, outside pressures etc., it is just us and our love for each other. Eventually you will find someone who loves you and is willing to wait, and you deserve that.


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