I want to be Catholic

I was raised by an atheist father/deist mother. I became a “Jesus Freak” Christian at age 18. I have attended many types of churches, taken numerous Bible studies, studied Biblical history at Yale, Etc. I am a true seeker.
I feel Most at home at Catholic Mass.
However, I was married previously. This man (in our last 3 of 7 years of marriage) beat me, strangled me, put guns to my head & pulled the trigger. He had affairs. When I left (his mother & sister helped me) he always found me. He knew my good friends or he would drive around until he found my car (a white Mustang with red interior). He’d threated to kill me & my friends unless I came with him.
He also broke into my various apartments or talked his way into getting keys from my various landlords. He would be waiting inside when I got home from work, pointing a shotgun at me.
He rarely held down a job. When we were married, I was the main provider other than when he worked in sales for 3 years. His mother called him “an animal.”
Police were called numerous times (by me and by neighbors, including a neighbor’s son who had Down syndrome & had seen this man choking me on our balcony. The boy with Downs shouted “Don’t you hurt my friend!!!” His Mom called police. The officer who showed up–the evil husband by then had fled—told me how to set it up so it would look like my husband committed suicide, elaborate methods. He told me "This guy is going to kill you unless you kill him first. But I just could not do that.)
I ended up working at a Police Dept/Detective Unit. The Police would escort me to & from my car. Some police officers/detectives sheltered me in their homes to protect me from this evil man.
He stalked me for 17 years. I am now remarried.
I know that if you want to become Catholic, you have to get an annulment. But that would involve this man coming back into my life! I am terrified of him! Isn’t there a way to become Catholic without the annulment thing?
I am very devout. I pray all the time. My current husband is a very good man. We have been married for 34 years. Thank You

1 Like

Please talk to a priest about all this.:rose::bouquet::tulip::hibiscus::sparkling_heart:

Also if you’d like I can message you some Catholic websites for you to ask others for prayer. There’s a Catholic app I can share with you also so that you can ask Catholics to pray for you and you can pray for Catholics.


The annulment process gives your ex an opportunity to state their side of the story. I got an annulment 23 years after the divorce. My ex did not respond, even though she was Catholic at the time of our marriage.
My annulment took four months, but that varies depending on your archdiocese. If you or your ex were not baptized, it may be even easier than mine. Talk to your priest and the Marriage Tribunal in your archdiocese for help. You do need to go through this no matter the difficulty of your prior marriage. It’s worth it.

1 Like

Thank you, please do email me.

1 Like

I was not baptized as a Catholic. The ex was as an infant.
The priest I talked with said an annulment is required & that they would have to contact the ex.
Although who knows where he is? The last I heard, he was squatting in an old trailer.

thank you very much

please do send me that app

Peace to you


1 Like

You don’t have to be baptized Catholic, but any faith that believes in a trinitarian baptism. I was baptized Lutheran.
You only have to give the last known address. You can’t be expected to know more than you know.

TALK TO A PRIEST, He will be the only one who can answer your questions and help you get the annulment process started. Glad you want to be a Catholic. Welcome home.

1 Like

The Tribunal has a method in place to deal with dangerous exes, to protect you. Talk to them, sadly, this is not something they have not done before.


Well, that depends on a number of factors. Step one, go talk to your local Catholic pastor about your former and current marriages.

Even if you pursue a decree of nullity, he does NOT come back into your life. You have no contact with him. The tribunal handles everything.

And you can file the petition in the diocese in which either of you lives, the diocese in which the marriage took place, or the diocese in which the most proof must be collected.

Maybe. Again go talk to your pastor locally. Everything here is merely speculation. It’s best to take these things one step at a time. Rest assured, tribunals have dealt with abusive spouse situations and are prepared for that.

Were you married in the Catholic Church or outside it with dispensation? Or were you married civilly only?

Please check your messages on Catholic answers. :slightly_smiling_face:

First, is this man still living? If he has died, you are free to marry, and the Church will convalidate your marriage with your second husband. If he is still living, you can seek an annulment, but there is no guarantee it will be granted. You would have to live as brother and sister until such time as you lawfully marry (i.e. after you receive an annulment or your first husband dies, and you lawfully take marriage vows with your second husband).

Talk to whomever deals with petitions for nullity at your parish—it may not be the priest. Ask that person to talk with the Tribunal about appointing a curator. Good luck!

(Me only after reading the title)

(Me after reading the actual post)
I’m sorry you had to go through all that, but on the bright side you found the man for you. God love you. But yeah, I’ll be praying for you on your spiritual pilgrimage and hope you find your way home in Rome.


This topic was automatically closed 14 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.