I want to be recalled by God


#1

I am a torn soul. I ve been very unhappy most of my life.
I have not been dealt nice cards but always believed that those who hurt are loved by God and will be rewarded in after life.
But I cant take this hurt any more. And I am too scared to take my own life as I always believed that if you do you will be punished.
I wish God could feel my pain and grant my wish.

Is there any way under any circumstances where taking your own life is not a sin?


#2

I am sorry to hear your pain. Do you go to church? Could you talk to a priest? You need to get some help, seek and you will find it. Jesus comes to this world to give us life so we may live abundantly. Please not despair, but seek for help, not online, but go talk to your Pastor and he may point you to some directions. If you need some concrete help, maybe there are some Catholic services available, if you need counseling, your priest will be a starting point. God bless!


#3

TornSoul, this is a time of great trial for you, and you are discouraged by your own inability to find consolation, even in asking God for consolation. You are describing what St. Faustina described in her novitiate, extreme darkness that would get even worse, and an inability to feel any consolation from God. She wanted to be taken away. Later she was shown that her sinfulness had caused Jesus to feel this way, and even worse.

I know there is nothing I can say to console you, if you are experiencing what I think you are. But taking your life is not God’s will. There IS pain even greater than what you are living with, pain that Jesus suffers out of love for you and all of us. Life on earth is not meant to be heaven, in spite of how it seems for some. And again I know it is no consolation, but your suffering is in reality part of greatness and divine will for which few have been chosen. I have seen, read and experienced too much of it to know otherwise.

I unite my prayers with yours, and our prayers for the whole world.


#4

inlight I have had counseling and on medication in the past. They do not work for me.
I know all the theory, what I should and shouldnt do but I cannot help to always come back to this feeling.
i have tried taking my life (with pills) in the past and not succeed. Sometimes as I drive along and I see a big lorry coming the opposite way I think if I only make a small movement in the right direction it will be over in a flash. But then I think of the driver and my family and God.
I been trawling a few posts since I started this thread and I can recognize what other people described. I m very impulsive, all black or white. Have a very strong feeling for what is just and unjust. Get hurt very easily by people. Wish to be accepted and loved. But I dont fit in this society. Im too sensitive too touchy.
Timo I didnt know about St Faustina feeling this way but what you say strengthen my beliefs that

suffering is in reality part of greatness and divine will for which few have been chosen

That makes me feel worse because I cant see a way out.
I try to think of a way to be reckless with my life but I guess I wont be able to fool Him. He will know exactly what I am doing.
I dont know if I will succumb to my despair.
I dont know if God meant this for me because he loves me
I dont know if there will be a reward
all I know is that this is taking a toll. Is not a cry for help.
Is not temporary / passing depression as I said I didnt have it easy in my life I have suffered almost all my life. I cant see how things are going to change.

Is it sin to pray to God do take your life??


#5

God loves you infinitely and unconditionally.
He is with you in your pain and suffering.
Our Lord Jesus Christ told us to deny ourselves, take up our crosses and follow Him.
We do not carry our cross ahead of Him, we need to follow Him. Trust Him.
He understands our pains and sufferings. He is both true God and true Man. He took our human nature except sin because He loves us.
He understands you. He knows you truly.

I recommend that you watch this, please:
youtube.com/watch?v=UMqka3XgHuw

Please do not even entertain your thoughts on taking your life. Do not even give your consent on that temptation. Please. Do not listen to the devil.
Pray. God loves you very very very much. You are important to Him. He wants you to be holy and be saved to be with Him for all eternity.


#6

What you need to know is your suffering can bless you in THIS lifetime, before you die. So in a way you pray to God to take your life – but to take it over, not away. In other words, submit to Him and as a sufferer you are well aware of things beyond your control and the idea of true submisstion.

For me it can seem like a trampoline. The lower you bounce, the higher heights you will achieve. These are not cliche’s or platitudes; I have a great deal of personal experience in severe psychotic depression and mania and other nasty and ugly things.

First of all, what God wants of you is you. Jesus came so you can have abundance. Do you realize that if you have really suffered, then “normal” will seem like “abundance?” Ultimately you will learn how to live “in the moment.” and plan for, but not worry the future.

Right now the future might seem hopeless which is tough. Just know that this, too, shall pass.

“The kingdom” is where you are in your consciousness, once you make a certain shift that is your rebirth in the spirit. From then on the Spirit calibrates and guides you. If it happens to you, you will not have any doubt about it. There are ways of making ourselves more open to this kind of renewal and healing.

Alan


#7

your words bought tears to my eyes. Thank you for your kind words


#8

I like the theory in this. It does make sense on a Catholic point of view.

Yes this is why I go through very highs and very lows. Who knows me superficially sees a very bubbly fun, crazy, joker personality. If I forget all the bad things and dont have bad thoughts then Im over the moon for no apparent reason. Im elated just for feeling normal, in those rare occasions when Im at peace with myself.

I know that it shall pass but I also know that it shall return. It always does, thats the only certain thing in my life (and death).

I dont understand this bit


#9

Pray the Rosary and suffer with Christ, as he suffers with you.


#10

I hope you’re consoled.:o
Let us thank God.

Here are words of Saint Padre Pio which I hope will help you.
Please read them. :o

Whenever you are seized by melancholy, let your thoughts dwell on that fateful night on which the Son of God began the work of redemption in the solitude of Gethsemane and offer your own sufferings to the Divine Father, along with the sufferings of Jesus.

In darkness, at times of tribulation and distress of the spirit, Jesus is with you. In such a state you see nothing but darkness, but I can assure you on God’s behalf that the light of the Lord is all around you and pervades your spirit. . .You see yourself forsaken and I assure you that Jesus is holding you tighter than ever to His divine Heart.

Jesus, who is infinitely merciful, will not fail to give you now and then a respite from the trial He has sent you. He is so good that He will never allow you to give in. The trial is a very hard one, but the Lord who is so very, very good will not fail to lighten the Cross from time to time.

I know that your spirit is always wrapped in the darkness of trials, but it is enough for you to know that Jesus is with you and in you.

Let us continue to trust, for the God who humiliates us and makes us suffer at present is the God who is still speaking to us, and the God who still speaks to us. . . even if He thunders so unpleasantly and severely, is still the God who loves us.

Lord God of my heart, You alone know and see all my troubles. You alone are aware that all my distress springs from my fear of losing You, of offending You, from my fear of not loving You as much as I should love and desire to love You. If You, to whom everything is present and who alone can see the future, know that it is for Your greater glory and for my salvation that I should remain in this state, then let it be so. I don’t want to escape from it. Give me the strength to fight and to obtain the prize given to strong souls.

Don’t lose heart if it is your lot to work alot and gather little. If you considered what one soul alone costs Jesus, you would never complain.

Jesus will never abandon you. I ask you to pray hard for the efficacy of my ministry. I am afraid of displeasing the Lord in the exercise of my priestly activity. May Jesus arrange all things for His glory and our salvation.

In all the events of life, you must recognize the Divine will. Adore and bless it, especially in the things which are the hardest for you.

You must remember that you have in Heaven, not only a Father but also a Mother…If our wretchedness saddens us, if our ingratitude for God terrorizes us, if the memory of our faults hinders us from presenting ourselves to God, our Father, let us then have recourse to Mary, our Mother. She is all sweetness, mercy, goodness and love for us because she is our Mother.

Give yourself up into the arms of your Heavenly Mother. She will take good care of your soul.

The field of battle between God and Satan is the human soul. This is where it takes place every moment of our lives. The soul must give free access to our Lord and be completely fortified by Him with every kind of weapon. His light must illuminate it to fight the darkness of error. He must put on Jesus Christ, His truth and justice, the shield of faith, the word of God to overcome such powerful enemies. To put on Jesus Christ we must die to ourselves.
padrepiodevotions.org/wordsoffaith.asp


#11

I was talking about down the line some. Probably not so important right now. :wink:

Alan


#12

I am closing this thread since we cannot host threads that entertain the thought of suicide.

I will contact the poster offline.

Please continue your prayers for the OP. God bless you!

Klara


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