I want to come back, but


My wife wants to remain protestant and is not comfortable with the catholic church (I hope to work on changing her mind eventually. I plan to leave Marcus Grodi’s book “How Firm A Foundation” around the house as a start, hoping to spark her interest) I figured it might be better for the family if I participated in her church, but still try and keep to my catholic beliefs as best as I can. I joined her church and tried to accept it (Presbyterian church) but it’s just not sitting well with me. It’s been 8 years and I want to get serious about my catholic beliefs and get back to being a practicing catholic. My goal would be to bring my family to the church as well, but that may not be for a while until I help dispel many mis-conceptions she has. I hope to be able to do this before my daughter starts grade school in 3 years so she can attend catholic school or CCD. Because I started participating in her church do I need to do anything special to come back to the Catholic Church? I am guessing I should talk to the local pastor as a first start. I mentioned to my wife, in passing to feel her out, that I might want to go back to Catholic Church. She seemed ok with that, but she and my daughter would continue to be protestant. Where does that leave my joining the local parish if they are not coming with me?

I also have a marriage issue so I posted that concern in the sacrement forum.

Thanks in advance for any help.


Yes, talk to a Catholic priest. Many people have been through similar situations. He will be able to guide you.

I would caution you not to push Catholicism. Just grow in Holiness, let your love for the Church show, and love your family into the Church.

A good, good book for you and your wife: Rome Sweet Home by the Hahns.

Welcome back to the Church!!


Ditto on the book recommendation Rome Sweet Home. Many of the parishes by us this time of year have classes for Catholics Returning Home and RCIA, and What Catholics Believe. You might check around and see if there is any such thing going on near you.


Really all that you need to do is confession. It probably would be best to make an appointment with a priest in this situation.

When I went through RCIA in 2001 there was a woman in the class who was in your same situation, having attended the Presbyterian Church with her husband for many years. She hadn’t been required to attend RCIA, but decided it would be a good way to dive into her faith and really make it her own. She really enjoyed the experience. I think it might be worth considering, and might cause your wife to sit up and take notice. By the time of the Easter Vigil, this woman’s husband was starting to read some books about Catholicism and was in the early stages of considering making the change.

If you want a little preview of Scott Hahn’s story, take a look here"



Mooneys, a couple of questions.
Does her church teach that the husband is the spiritual leader of the house? And would RCIA be an option for your wife?

The RCIA program I went through had classes on Tuesday nights. If you could find one that meets during the week she could go to it and still go to her church on Sunday. That is of course until the truth of the church gets to her and she stops going to her church :wink:


Thanks’s everyone!

I have an appointment with a Deacon today :slight_smile: I guess I’m on my way. As far as my wife… she has the typical catholic mis-conceptions, but I really don’t know how to address them correctly. I’m really not sure how this will progress but she said that she had very bad impressions while attending Mass a few times and won’t come with me. I’m not sure what she ment and did not press her because I wasn’t really sure I could defend the church correctly. She also isn’t willing to allow our children to be brought up Catholic. I hope you are all right and she will eventually become interested in exploring after she see’s my commitment. For now I plan on doing a good bit of reading and leaving books around in hope that she will take a peak :wink:

I’m also hoping that by attending her Presbyterian church with her and also attending the Catholic church on Sundays, that she will see my good faith and possibbly start attending some Catholic sevices with me.

Thanks again!


I’m not sure she would attend at this point, but maybe after I return and show my interest she might eventually attend. She and her family are concerned about some issues with their Presbyterian church related to homosexuality and the war that have them concerned so I’m hoping this might be a good time to start showing there is another option with the Catholic Church. I hope I can lead them over eventually.


I don’t want to read to much into this, but after taking the advice from everyone here I contacted my local parish this morning and and had a meeting today with the Deacon who made me feel very welcome. He helped me with all my questions and now I’m on my way back to the Catholic Church, but the really interesting thing is…

After scheduling my appointment I got a call from work and as it turns out I got offered the new job I have been waiting to hear about today, and then I got a call from our social worker telling me that our adoption has been approved and we should be traveling in a few weeks to pick up our new baby boy from Guatemala. Coincidence or a sign that God is telling me I’m back on track?

Anyway, today has been a very special day for me, thanks to all for the encouragementand advice.


Life is looking up for you, for sure!!! And congrats, “Dad”!!

If you keep hanging around here, you’ll pick up some ways to assist your wife in relieving her of her misconceptions.


Congrats on your adoption. I have some friends who will be adopting from Guatemala as well.
I have lots of friends who are protestant and I wanted to be able to answer their questions. What I have done is watch a lot of EWTN and I listen to Catholic radio when I can. I read forums like this and books on apologetics and read the articles on Catholic Answers. I’ll tell you, I know my faith about 100x better than I did when I started. Just keep learning and praying. Let God take care of the rest.


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